Tinder Temptresses Unite....It's Dating Thread 106

[PrizeyPrize]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

My lovely long distance boy Has gone a little quite. Que Paranoia!!!!!!!
Not like him at all, usually very yappy.
Only one message last night apologising for not answering my previous one, saying very busy. It his usual warm and friendly style though, still.......
Balls!!!!!

CiaoVerona, now you'll never believe a word I say! phew

Ok, back to loads of chat.
I'm a fecking loon.
Please ignore

mother yes a special phone for old is a really good idea. PAYG phones can be picked up cheaply now. Even smart ones with WhatsApp etc.

314 sounds wonderful! Glad you had a lovely night. It all seems to be going really well! So happy for you.

starsky hope he's hot in touch by now?

Anyone using Match and would you recommend over the others?

Starsky yay!! Cross post

So I spoke to him - he said he hadn't realised he hadn't replied, he hadn't pressed send apparently. Which I suppose the fact I did see him typing for ages backs that up, but still not sure I believe him.
The whole thing has left a bit of a bad taste. I think it's because before it happened id finally started to feel relaxed. I find liking people very stressful and constantly overthink, but the last week I've just not cared. In a good way of course! I don't get concerned if he doesn't text back, because I know he will eventually. I didn't feel like I needed to watch what I say or do..but now that's all gone and I feel on edge again. I'm hoping I can see him in person to get my coat back and hopefully the way he acts then will help me to decide. Urgh.

Oh starskey, I've been there - I'm sure it'll be fine. At least he's said he's busy! Maybe he really does just have a lot on. I wouldn't be concerned if he's said that.

Oreily - prizey had quite a bad experience when it came to giving a number out, definitely air on the side of caution. I don't tend to give it out unless we've built up some sort of rapport. I don't give it out within a few messages, I've had my number since I've had my first phone and I don't intend on changing it ever!!

314 - glad to hear the date went so well!! Excellent shout on bringing San pellegrino... I don't know how any date could go badly if you bring it, it's AMAZING

witches yes I'm rose/Rosetta. I can't remember who was dating Mr Tall either . The thread is so fast.

314 yay!

starskey glad normality has resumed

oreily another phone is a really good idea. It just gives you a little added protection.

whatamidoing any news from Planeman? I'm still finding it hard to believe that he ghosted after everything so goodness knows how you must be feeling...

bigred I hope you are managing to distract yourself with more irons?

flip he has really blotted his copy book hasn't he and after such a great start. Why do they do it?

Sorry if I have missed anyone.

Yes Rosetta! Worrying and paranoia is back again

I know the MNer you were referring to witches - she had to NC cause she got outed ... I have no idea who she is now though coughcoughcough

whatamIdoing Planeman has ghosted?? Jesus, that's awful - made ten times worse by how wonderful he was after your mum. How dare he! WTF is wrong with people?? Hope you're OK x

I'm on Match, it's particularly terrible at the moment- would not recommend. I'm still preferring Tinder tbh. At least it's free!

Just found out that they guy I was ghosted by has got back with his ex. It's probably a good thing really and I suppose makes it less personal against me but even so, I wish he'd have been more honest with me and perhaps maybe not put himself out there if the ex was still on the radar.

I'm only on one free site at the moment. I want to sign up to tinder but I don't want it connected to my Facebook so I need to open another account. I've never heard anything very good about match.

I really don't get most of the guys I'm chatting to. They either want to have inane small talk for wks with no meeting up, or just want sex. I want something in the middle...bit of chat, then meet up and see if we like each other.

Can I join? I have recently started OLD after ending a 27 year marriage and met someone more or less straight away who I think is genuine but I guess you never can tell can you?

Why do guys ghost?

Is it because they are cowards or so they can come back later down the line with some excuse or another?

I would say it's for cowardly reasons NowWhat. If it's the other reason then they're daft as I, personally, would never go near a guy who ghosted me again. There's not really an excuse unless it's only a couple of days. If a guy sat me down and told me it wasn't gonna work respectfully, then came back in the picture having changed his mind or when he is in a better place, I would consider it much more than if he just vanished with no explanation!!

What I think sometimes they do it on the most part (and lets be honest, girls do it too!), because it is easier than having the awkward conversation. OR its some other pathetic reason like they enjoy the ego boost thinking you are waiting on their response, or as you say, no response means if/when it suits they can use an excuse to re-enter the picture.

So today... I am seriously considering trying to travel abroad for anywhere from 1-12 months to expand my horizons and 'find myself'. I feel fed up with dating, with not having seen the world, with not putting myself out there. Thing is, I would need a job where ever I went in order to do so, I am not exactly on the right side of my 20s, and I have a home to pay for. Has anyone else ever had thoughts like this, or follow through with it?!

Pigeon314 your friends sound mean. Mine await my dating exploit up-dates with baited breath
FlipFlop He sounds very defensive for some reason.
Neatfreak Wow, it’s all going so well and he sounds really keen. Oh I love it when you get nervous about seeing someone. For me that’s the sign that I really like them.
Asteroid wow. He sounds great –forget the clutter—

Well, I had another date with Audidriver last night and it was amazeballs dinner & back to mine this time couldn't eat a bloody thing because of the anticipation of shagging him though
He's obviously been working out like a demon since I last saw him as his belly is diminishing rapidly. Not that I'm bothered by a bit of a belly I actually find it very attractive and don't mind at all if a man is a couple of stone overweight but I noticed it because I slid my hand inside his trouser waistband as we were standing up kissing, I could easily get it inside whereas before, it got stuck and I lost the circulation in my arm

He is a fine figure of a man and just the right amount of hairy!

Is there a lust emoji Justine?

Lost the circulation in your arm single amazing!!

Yeah he does. I'm getting fed up now. Can't work out if he's being frosty or not. His messages seem fine, but something just seems off, don't know if it's just me or not. I asked him last night if I could meet him to get my coat back tonight and he said maybe and that he'd let me know. We've spoken very briefly today - but he hasn't let me know. So now I'm going to have to do the awkward 'sooooo are we meeting or not?' Text because I have to go into work soon and can't have my phone at my desk and I'd need to meet him straight after I finish. Grrrr. I'm never taking valuables on dates again!

NowWhat I believe that they take the easy option. I've spoken to men about this (friends, not partners) and they say it's because when they've tried the 'I'm not feeling it with you' talk with women in the past, the women have gone 'mental' (their words). so it's a combination of fear and cowardice. I must admit that when I've done the decent thing and ended it with someone I wasn't into, they've been really mean and angry with me for quite a while so I can see why some people ghost. I think we all like to think we're reasonable people but if you're rejected it's going to hurt and some people don't take rejection well at all. I once stopped seeing someone I was dating for four months by telling him that I just didn't see it going anywhere and he went berzerk and didn't get out of bed for a week and was off work for 3 months (so his brother told me).

'Lost the circulation in your arm single amazing!! Well I had the prize in my hand and I wasn't about to let go

Oh I hate that FlipFlop how inconsiderate of him. Either a yes or a no (with an alternative) but a maybe is no use at all. It just doesn't sound good I'm sorry. Do you think he's moody?

I have no idea, single. He started our conversation making jokes last night. Then because he said about the thinking he'd replied - I said 'ooh so what was your response then' and he said he didn't know, then conversation went a bit dead after that. Today was fine, but brief - he is at work though so that's excusable. I just don't know, can't work him out via text.

Mm. Text is a difficult medium for communicating anything beyond the basics - e.g. 'see you at seven.' I always try to keep texts either light and amusing or factual (and always short). Why not play it by ear and see how it goes. if he goes funny again, you have your answer and he's a moody sod

singleandfab I guess for whatever reason she is just not interested in my dating which would be understandable if i went on and on and on but I promise you i don't! yesterday she interrupted me telling her about a planned date for later that same evening to say that she thought she saw the child of an acquaintance over yonder......... er right. Then that stopped me in my tracks a bit so I just left it. She is a very kind person. I don't know. It does confuse me a bit. Is it really boring listening to friends talk about dating? I am not all mooney over him so it isn't like I was analysing everything. Literally it was saying what my plans were for that evening.

I know if one of my single friends were dating oh i wish i'd be so interested!

Who knows. I can't put myself in the shoes of somebody who has been married for nearly 20 years. :-(

ps, singleandfab yeh, re MSG, I do think he's great, I made myself a bit vulnerable to feeling anxiety before i go away (so i won't see him for a week!). he's collecting me which is really nice of him and I'll be really looking for to seeing him again so perhaps I need to just exercise it out now, and then from tomorrow on, drink it out, sunbathe it out, lap it out (in the pool). I'll cope! it'll be a struggle :-p

So, yeh, gone from feeling slightly stifled to slightly anxious in one shag.