Tinder Temptresses Unite....It's Dating Thread 106

[PrizeyPrize]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

I think ultimately he is a lot wilder than me and perhaps I was just a bit bland for him. Plus although I'm confident I am also recovering from a long and controlling marriage (although pretty amicable with stbx bar a couple of his dramas) and I guess that some of that seeps through doesn't it, no matter how hard you try to compartmentalise.

It was supposed to be fun though so if one of us isn't feeling it then thats just the way it goes.

Hi I'm a non-regular poster here. Had a good 1st date last Thu (through POF) and lots of positive communication since. Meeting for 2nd time tomorrow. Nervous as anything but excited too.

Sick I don't think you're being fair to yourself saying you're bland. You are just looking for different things. I'm out of controlling marriage (8 months ago) and it's hard to let go of self-doubt, but try to as it's not your fault.

I could do with advice, when do you tell new man that you can't have anymore kids in natural way?
(Background he's almost 40 with 10 yr old but ticked 'open minded' on POF about more DCs).

Insight on what Destiny? Just because some men may behave in some way, doesn't mean all men do.

Thanks lilac. I do think it was me that fucked it up though. I'm going to blow my own trumpet here and say that i am exceptionally good at working out what makes others tick and I do think that I got a bit too close to the bone sometimes with "getting" him and saying stuff that might have challenged his thinking. Not that I meant to, its just who I am. So the story I shall tell myself is that he was terrified of my powers of insight and ran

Plus meant to say yay for good first date!

Where are tou all tonight?? On dates I hope!

"I could do with advice, when do you tell new man that you can't have anymore kids in natural way?"

I think all you can do is be honest. And if it's a deal breaker for them I think it's better to be upfront from the start. I don't know how old you are but there are guys who have kids already and don't want any more. And there's guys that don't want kids at all.

Don't twist yourself into a pretzel to try and be what some guy wants. What do YOU want...?

Sick I'm here! Just had a lovely massage so feeling v chilled out!

Gonna watch First Dates now. Love that show!

( think I post too many exclamation marks sometimes but don't care!!!)

< bit pissed> 💜😱😈

I'm 3 beers in destinys so will raise a glass to clink with you

Glad massage was nice. Off to bed myself- agree about saying what you want lilac but I don't think that you need to raise it- if it was on your profile he would have checked if he was that bothered about the issue.

Thanks sick and destiny I clicked open minded too as I'm happy to be involved with someone elses DCs. If I'd been with another man I may not have got sterilised, but part of the problem was STBXH saying we couldn't have more DCs, not being a great role-model and then wanting sex with no contraception (weird control issues that he had). He wouldn't get sterilised so I did to try to save marriage.

I could have a reversal or IVF and have more. You're right though I'm 40 and I'm not keen to go through it all again. I'll be honest soon as else it could look like mixed messages.

He's still texting lots and I'm enjoying company. Keep holding back from thinking it could work though, very early days!

Are you both drinking on dates?
Hope you're having fun

I've clicked on "does not want kids" as I am also 40 and don't want any more of my own- I have 3- I'd never thought about it being taken to mean that I wasn't happy to be involved with other peoples' though. Which of course I would be. Hmmm.

The children thing does indeed complicate things. I don't have any and I'd prefer to meet a guy who either didn't have any or had older ones. I'm starting the menopause now so is no longer an option!

My massage last night has made me feel super horny today. Dangerous place to be in...😍

Destinys That made me laugh. How are you going to deal with your horniness? Any more irons lined up?

Sicknspan Sorry to hear about Welshboy. What went wrong? What did you send him? I'd have thought' he'd be pleased at a bit of thoughtful silliness.

Well, mine have all gone quiet so nothing to report.

The ladybird guide to dating. It was just a silly thing. One page I'd earmarked was about how someone thought they'd had a lucky escape when a date stood them up via text but used poor grammar! He and I are both spelling pedants (excuse my typos here, bloody phone) and I thought it was just funny. It wasn't the book though I think- he just got spiky after saying he was touched. Smacks of "argh she's been nice to me, engineer some confrontation so you can RUN FOR THE HILLS"

If someone is going to behave like that then it's too complex. Being nice to people is sort of what you're supposed to do. It's what I do anyway. If he's a bit scared of kind people or thinking that he doesn't warrant kindness (which is what I suspect, he was a bit damaged but I sort of liked that) then that is just too fucked up for me to deal with.

MrBadTiming and I will be catching up on Saturday though instead. If timings work out

Well, that would make me laugh certainly but as you say, it may just be that he doesn't really want anything real - just the thought of it or a 'hit and run' type affair with co committment or feelings.

Aw that was a brilliant present! I'd have loved that. Such a shame. Just cos you send someone a fun, thoughtful present doesn't mean you want to marry them!

And I agree it IS what you're supposed to do. When it's mutual there's no game playing, it just feels easy. His loss.

Re my libido. I'm having my bedroom decorated at the mo so only have a single bed to sleep in right now. Therefore I'm doing precisely nothing except being a bit flirty with randoms online. Have decided to not take it all so seriously and enjoy the attention without making it be a search for "The One"...

And I'm meeting the osteopath guy on Fri who is 10 years younger than me so if he's nice I might get a bit of a snog...😈

< think I might need to start a spreadsheet to keep track of them all >

I once cancelled a date as someone had poor grammar. Thank God I did as a few days later I got a text from a number I didn't recognise and it was the woman he lived with saying why are you arranging to meet my boyfriend...!! 😱

Sick I love the adult Ladybird books. 'The Mum' is brilliant

You need the same sense of humour to appreciate it, perhaps he didn't get it?

The Hipster one is v funny too! Good way to test if someone has the same sense of humour as you?

destinys yes gotta love flirtation practice!

I thought it was a nice thing but there we go. Lesson learned: just because I love working out what makes people tick doesnt mean I should pick the complicated ones just because they're something to get my teeth into! I do love deep/intemse personalities though... sigh

Off to stoke the pof fires methinks!

I love deep/ intense personalities too! But maybe they also come with baggage and complications...

I need someone who has lived a bit of a life, overcome some difficulties and come out the other side.

Men's profiles are so funny. There's one guy who calls himself the 'Tonguemaster' and offers what he calls the ' alphabet experience'...😱