Tinder Temptresses Unite....It's Dating Thread 106

[PrizeyPrize]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

Gotta kiss a LOT of frogs...

Or not

Re my Transman experience, I had no idea despite weeks of messaging. When we met I was a bit shocked as was shorter than me ( I'm 5 ft 5), but he had stubble and receding hairline. There's no way I would have known if he hadn't fessed up during lunch!

So what does everyone think of taking the initiative and messaging first to a few men? I am getting fed up waiting for people to message me!

The date on Friday night went well and he seemed lovely but he got very intense very quickly afterwards talking about our future loads - which wouldnt be too bad but he decided he was coming to mine to stay the night tomorrow as i have a few rare nights completely child free and he has now stopped speaking as i wasn't happy to just rush into things!

So no other irons at the moment so I thought no harm in emailing a few men I like - well I hope not anyway although if I get too many rejections I may be regretting it!

petal what a knobhead! How presumptuous of him, hopefully he'll chill the f* out and if not, you're well rid.

I'd say definitely take the initiative! I much prefer messaging first, I know I want to see a response and get to set the tone a bit more. No text speak from me so they dont tend to reply with it!

That's teally not a good sign wanting to rush you like that. And then backing off. Makes me think he was just after one thing. It's bloody rubbish isn't it!

I think it's fine to contact people yourself if they seem nice. I'm sure men must get fed up with doing the chasing online. You've got nothing to lose!

Have pp looked at the Baggage Reclaimed website? She talks a lot about "future faking" that some men do, making you think you have a future with them, but they don't really mean it and then leave you confused when all these amazing things they talked about don't actually happen.

Well worth looking at if you haven't discovered it.

He was definitely wanting sex asap as told me he had a high sex drive and was that a problem! Also telling me he wanted me to be his girl for the long term which made me cringe quite a lot - at 47 I dont think of myself as a girl! We will see if he comes back to make amends but I want to have some other irons in the meantime as I wont be holding my breath.

So a glass of wine once youngest in bed and a bit of messaging I think

petal68 definitely message first, take the initiative before someone else gets there before you. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain!

Thanks Recycledparent I will give it a try now just need to find the profile on POF I was looking at before who seemed nice - there must be a better way of searching which doesnt involve trawling thro loads of men - should have taken a note of his user name - rookie mistake!

Well I'm back.

He picked me up at 6. We went to Cotswold Water Park and found a quiet part next to the lake. Perfect location. He then gets a bottle of chilled prosecco and a punnet of strawberries out of his bag. So we sat there holding hands, drinking fizz and eating strawberries while watching the water.

I couldn't believe it. Men don't do that when I'm with them. It was just perfect. He's just left and I'm seeing him again in Thursday.

Addicted- that sounds perfect! What a great date.

Waving- I'm in London and on Soulmates and am 5 '9"!! Agree with you about lack of men. I've had one date with a man claiming to be 5'7" but was more like 5'4". Where are the tall fit Londoners?!!

Addicted, how lovely, that's a proper date!

I've been on OKCupid this morning trying to be proactive and strike up a convo with guys who seem OK ( ie don't look like serial killers). It's bloody hard work especially that initial first message!

Great first date addicted!

Well me plaster started getting all needy, I need tlc, do you like me?, talk to me, kind of messages and I'v been far too busy away with my 3 dc's to entertain him. I had told him I was away too. Red flags, so I sent him a clear 'we're not going to be dating anymore text'. I got back don't sent texts like that X and the three more texts tonight of hey sexy, I miss you, night sexy animal!
What is wrong with him! Do I straight block or try again with the not going to happen text?

On other new mr flowers is great! Can't wait till Friday!

addicted that sounds wonderful! And glad flowers is a good un so far minop. Whats he done to be worthy of such praise?!

minop def block. You've been clear and he's not listening.

Woke up early so went online and looked st my matches. Must have chatted to 8 guys this morning! Got 2 potential dates lined up already.

Have decided am not going to put all my eggs in one basket with Mr Posh Writer. He seems to travel a lot with work and wasn't able to see me for 2 weeks which isn't great really. He's nice but I want someone who I can see more than twice a month!

I'm meeting the small ginger one tonight, known in my head as gingerpubes. I'm a bit worried I've never been with anyone short before. He's only 1 inch taller than me! But he has a lovely face and seems good fun so we'll see.

I saw the bodybuilder again on Sunday, the first time I met him his cockiness and arrogance made me laugh and as I'm not after anything serious I thought I could put up with it for the sex, but he annoyed me tbh!

WavingNotDrowning I was looking at your list of requirements and decided to measure myself against them:
I am not above 6' as I am exactly 6' = Fail
I am pretty fit as I cycle a lot but I would not call myself toned = Fail
I am pretty hairy but it depends on your scale of hairyness = Possible Pass
And perhaps most importantly I don't live anywhere near London = Epic Fail

Looks like I definitely do not measure up (probably for the best as I'm currently taken )

Destinysdaughter Are you looking for other irons because you are now thinking that MrPoshWritter is no longer good enough or do you think you could be self sabotaging because (as you previously said) you think he is too good for you?

No it's because he just wants an occasional Fuckbuddy. He travels a lot with his job. I could be OK with that but I'd need to be seeing other pp too. I do struggle with monogamy myself TBH and have been known to frequent fetish/swingers clubs!

I've been chatting to a guy who is French and an ex Uni lecturer. I do like the intellectual left wing types! Gonna have lunch next week.

But I know when I meet someone who is v sorted I get into terrible comparisons with them and feel inadequate. I'm a bit of a fuck up!

Currently reading the 2 ongoing threads about "I've slept with him and now he's cooled on me" Should I text him?

Fascinating discussions...

Well things have gone tits up with welshboy.

He received my silly present in the post, he seemed genuinely touched, then next text i got was a bit spiky so I was mildly spiky in return (he's a bit of a hot head and so strong banter was not untested territory) and he's thrown his teddies out of the pram and cancelled our date on saturday.

There has been a bit of a pattern of me doing/saying something nice and him getting offish. Either I am coming on too strong (don't think so, they were hardly declarations of love just positive things I thought) or he's freaking out. I am of course choosing to belive the second option because I am undoubtedly the prize here (good old thread rules).

A bit gutted because he was fascinating. But there we go hey, back in the pond later tonight! Trying to think positive thoughts.

Sick oh I'm so sorry! You didn't do anything wrong, it was a lovely gesture and he freaked out. Why do men do this? What reason did he give for cancelling your date? Bummer! 😥

Maybe the men on the thread can give some insight on this as it sure as hell baffles me! Have you read the 'Why men love bitches' book? It really is worth reading...

Have a nice relaxing bath and glass of wine tonight. X