Tinder Temptresses Unite....It's Dating Thread 106

[PrizeyPrize]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

Oh single richard gere look alike sounds fab... love me a bit of richard gere. Yeah.. tomorrow night... me planeman and a swanky hotel. .. phew can only mean one thing !!

Really feeling bad about mrvtall as he's a lovely guy and I do like him ,but feels wrong to be seeing both of them....but I'm trying to be realistic and assume one of them will get fed up of me .

Oh sick your an inspiration

sparkles ...fire man's hose ..,did you mean fireman's pole !!!

WhatamIdoing yes it's definitely more like a pole

I had a mr tall as well as fireman but like you I couldn't see both so he had to go...he was starting to irritate me anyway

Lots of updates since I last viewed on Sunday!

What Am I right in thinking you had a date? how did it go?!

Sick Another jealous of all of irons over here!!

Sparkles Also jealous of the fireman... I think a small amount of arrogance is acceptable... As long as it does not cross over into him feeling 'better' or above some people due to his looks... I know that isn't the norm, but there are some people with massively over inflated egos just because they are pretty to look at!

I have backed off contact with Brown Eyes :( I haven't had an outward conversation with him about our situation, but he is very casual about it all. His texts are chatty but they don't promote any discussion like they always use to, and so the vibe I get from them is that he doesn't necessarily want to always hear back/text a few times a day, if that makes sense? We exchanged a few texts about it being fun and wanting to see each other again for another date, but I don't know how to approach the next steps because he texts after that conversation, just go... nowhere...

Do I back off and IF he is interested he will contact me again, or do I just ask him casually by text? And if I ask him, how do I?!

So I posted about two weeks ago about been more proactive and messaging first rather than waiting around for them to make the first move.

It has worked well for me! I have 3 irons at the moment. Been on dates with two of them. Mr plaster very down to earth nice guy, still a little hurt by his ex but great company for nothing serious. After date two I broke the seal since my divorce and he's still texting so I feel I've jumped that hurdle successfully.

Mr serious, had a nice date but felt a bit like a job interview. I'm going to try date two and see if he can lighten up a bit with less nervous

And my third iron we can't get a date booked in before he goes on holiday on Friday but last night I mentioned it's my birthday on Wednesday and at work today a big bunch of flowers arrived! I've never had flowers delivered before! He's made me smile from ear to ear.

Just wanted to say how well going to get them has worked for me, I'm having fun with dating which is what I wanted all along and feel more in control this way.

I love reading all your updates and will post more often now I have stuff to post

so much to catch up on!
what I'm irrationally excited that Planeman has got his shit together!!
sparkles I say just enjoy the hose for what it is! Never mind if he's a wee bit arrogant, if the hose is doing it for you, just go get yourself watered
mother I'm exactly the same - I agree to another date when I'm put on the spot because I don't want to be mean, but actually have no intention of seeing them again

I'm on the verge of giving up again. The Tinder guy that was in my area for an interview - I eventually said let's meet up (so forward of me!) and we did. Dullest. Date. Ever. We went for a coffee, and he was just sooooooooooo dull. He didn't ask me a single thing about myself (he still doesn't know what I do, if I have kids or not, what I like etc etc) - just talked about himself, which was dull.
Really disappointing as I had high hopes for him - seemed clever, witty etc in texts

I need to step back again I think - I'm almost baiting guys on POF atm - I'm quite sharp with them, and it's not attractive!

single young Richard Gere lookalike - ooh sounds good, did you say yes yet?

sparkles me too I am jealous of your fireman!

what Have a fab time at the swanky hotel with planeman tonight.

misszp Argh about Brown Eyes! Not sure what to suggest! Would you be happy with a fairly casual thing or do you want it to be more with him? (sorry can't keep up with the thread!) Ie if you asked him and he wants just keep it casual would you still like to see him?

minop well done with your three irons! And how lovely of one of them to send you flowers to work!!
Re: being proactive and messaging first.. I am trying to do that myself but feel like an idiot because don't know what to message them! (Very newbie to this!)
Any tips?

Skyrabbit Tinder guy definitely sounds boring, how can somebody just talk about themselves all the time! It is difficult when a person sounds really nice over the text and then completely different in reality. Happened to me recently, although I didn't even meet him just spoke on the phone and that was enough!

Just a quick update at stupid o'clock as planeman wasn't able to change his shift so has abandoned me in the hotel to go to work! No complaints from me ...I might get a few hours kip had a lovely afternoon/evening few drinks nice meal and bed..

Prosecco- yes would happily keep it casual, even though I do like him. To be completely honest, it's probably all our situations allow as he will be moving away for anywhere from a few months to permanently from next year. And so actually I do understand he's casual about everything. What I don't find acceptable is the fact he is definitely now trying to phase me out/ghost me. I don't know whether to laugh at my stupidity, cry because it's happened AGAIN, or be super mad at him for laying on the charm (as one of my previously mentioned male friends put it!).

what glad you had a lovely date!!! Did he join you again after work?!

MissZp no he's working now till 4:30 pm he'd just left when I posted at 5, bit strange waking up on my own in a hotel and having breakfast...felt a bit ...cheap? Not sure that's the right word.

Hi all, please can I join? Started OLD ( again ) and it's such a minefield isn't it?

Whatam1doing What a shame! I was really looking forward to your report on your doings. Has he said when he's going to be available?

missZP the charm is so hard to resist I find. I go into it expecting nothing. I think that's all you can do to avoid disappointment.

Skyrabbit how disappointing. I hate men who drone on and on without showing the slightest interest in you. Audidriver's a bit like that sadly.

Well, to up-date on my irons. RichardGere hasn't been in touch since our meeting yesterday which is unusual but we'll see what happens. he was very flirty and admited in an e-mail that I make him flustered but perk him up. Mr IT has sent me cock shots and videos already even though we're not planning to meet until next week. is this normal now? I'm so out of touch. Audidriver sent me the same on Sunday but still no attempt to meet up. Are we simply masturbatory aids now? I have no clue but I suspect that technology has ruined romance.

Thing How're you doing? Any more from Tinder?

I'm just catching up, reading the last pages of the thread. You're all having such interesting, if sometimes frustrating adventures!

single if a guy you haven't even met is sending you cock shots ( and videos..??) I would personally find that really inappropriate and off putting.

And I'd also think that all they want is sex. If you're ok with that then fine. Otherwise, just no. I mean imagine if you were chatting to a guy in the pub and he suddenly got his cock out, you'd be horrified! I don't get why some men think it's acceptable to do this online..?

Destinys I know, I don't know if it's me because I'm old (40 s) and I'm just not used to it but it does seem odd to meet 'the chap' before meeting the chap. I do know ITGuy, as we worked together a few years ago on a project so I've spoken to him on the phone many times, e-mailed him in a work capacity etc and we texted on and off a few years ago too and had an abortive meet-up too so he's not a complete stranger but I haven't met him in the flesh so yes, it does seem weird. Maybe it's an age thing. I've not heard of men in thier 40s and over doing this, only the young (well-endowed) ones! They all seem to like sexting at night though they clearly need a hobby!

what I wouldn't feel cheap (I understand what you mean even if it's not the right word!) if you had an enjoyable evening and he remains consistent with you :) embrace it!

single I certainly went in with a clear head and had no expectations at all. Usually I would be gutted and blaming the ghosting on my own faults, but my attitude this time is its his issue, his loss! I don't know if that's because since the break down of my LTR I have matured a lot emotionally and my confidence is bigger, or that my gut just knew perhaps this would happen and therefore it's not such a shock. I can't decipher, but aside from feeling like I want to tell him off now I just feel a bit 'whateverrrr' about it! I hope this new attitude lasts because it's certainly saving me some worrying and tears anyway!

Single - also I would find the dick pics off putting! It seems quite immature and also very intrusive if the conversation wasn't swinging that way, or you had spoken about those kind of messages being acceptable! In my head it means he's far too willing to over share or overstep boundaries without actually checking what they are in the first place, even if it's on a superficial level. How did the pictures come about? (Sorry if you explained, I am skimming the threads on the the way to a meeting!).

I'm not young either and men never used to do this but think the Internet has made this sort of thing easy to do. However when I think of male friends, who are decent guys, I just know they would never do stuff like that. If you actually want a relationship, rather than just a hook up, then I'm not sure these men are really on the same page!

single I had a lovely afternoon evening and night we had a walk and few drinks and a nice meal. then back to the hotel ...and yea he's still bloody amazing in bed but he's so knackered by his shifts he fell asleep on me a few times and then kept apologising ... He had to be in work for 5:30 so left about 5am which I knew but still felt a bit ...he said himself feels like am having an affair sneaking out and leaving you at 5am! What'll the staff think?? Am so sorry I couldn't get the day off.

Am hoping now he stays consistent and doesn't disappear off like he did the other time. But I almost feel that it's gonna happen, he said he'd text later. I text when I woke up and nothing yet. But he's in work and meetings all morning so we'll see.

If it all goes pear shaped then it does.

In other news mrvtall is away for a week now with his kids and has whats apped me twice chatting about his day and asking about mine? Two v different guys

Hi everyone. I've been lurking on this thread for a while and about a month ago I took the tinder plunge. I have my first date from it tomorrow night!! I'm so bloody excited it's unreal. Although sadly I'm doing all the things I know I shouldn't be. I've stopped going on tinder, totally over invested in this man and I just can't stay cool. Does anyone have any advice for me before I implode??

heaven go back to page 1 and read the rules!! Don't over invest stay chatting to others. But mainly enjoy it.

You need a thick skin ...men are shits quite often and their oddness is no reflection on you. Earlier in this thread I said I've developed a mind set that I'm the prize they should want and if they don't more fool them. But in the meantime im having nice days/evenings out, nice meals with nice men and it gets me out of the house. No matter how it turns out if you just enjoy the dates for what they are then you can stay sane.
Enjoy your date

heaven I know what you mean about becoming totally over - invested! However, some of that can just be lovely and enjoyable - the anticipation, getting ready all those 'ooh I fancy you' thrill-y moments. As long as you keep in your mind that it feels great right NOW, and does not necessarily mean any more than that, enjoy it!

Things are still going well with Mr Toothbrush - someone asked where we met, but it was IRL although we live 35 miles apart (and he was in France when the flirting messages started) so lots of our communication has been via fb messenger.

This will be the first weekend in ages we haven't seen each other - I'm on a mini hol to NYorks to see a friend. Will be interesting to see how this feels - it's like a break in our routine! I had a proper wobble this weekend though - he mentioned very casually that I'm hard to give a compliment too (very true, I'm trying to be more kind to myself after a MH breakdown and ptsd therapy), and I had an awful, slow build up panic attack, made worse by the fact I was panicking about panicking in front of him. He was lovely, and caring, and cuddled me to sleep but I've struggled to see how he'd still want to see me after this. However, he's booked us 2 nights away to a European City. .... in December!! Think I need to give my head a good wobble and stop anxiety - ing!

Robots he sounds like a good man if that's how he responded to your panic attack. Do you know what made you feel so panicky?

I have a slight dilemma, may be nothing but am not sure. Been chatting to a guy online, he's American with possible Turkish or Greek heritage, not sure from his photo. Anyway I said I lived alone and he said that wasn't ' safe ' ( ?)
He also wanted to Skype which I don't do also it was early in the morning I was still in bed and looked like crap! He was quite insistent but I said no. He also said he wasn't looking to meet lots of women and liked to get a woman ' addicted ' to him and wants a woman who likes to spend a lot of time with her man. Is this weird? So hard to know when you haven't met someone send it may be just cultural differences. He's intelligent and attractive and I'd like to meet him but am so wary of red flags these days! Maybe I should just meet him and get a better sense of who he really is...?

Destiny all I can see are huge red flags waving there!!! He appears very controlling already?
Robots it all sounds like it's going really well and sounds like he dealt with your panic attack calmly and lovely-ly !

destiny huge red flags I'd be running for the hills I'm afraid.

Bugger! I thought you might say that. There's so few decent, attractive single men my age in the area I live in. 🙁