Tinder Temptresses Unite....It's Dating Thread 106

[PrizeyPrize]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

misszp yes, I think you're right about Invisible, and I'm not as naive as I was about OLD as when I first chatted to him years ago, so I won't be waiting about and texting him. I've said 'let's leave it' for this weekend, but I'm not asking to meet again.

sparklesnpearls There must be something about firemen, a friend of mine has recently met one in real life and it's all going very well, he seems genuinely lovely.

skyrabbit yeah, I did make a lighthearted comment back about the 'acceptable' compliment and it was fine, I just thought it was a funny thing to say...mind you, I'm fickle...if they are all over me, saying 'hello gorgeous/beautiful/sexy' I sometimes think 'oh, just drop the act' haha!

Anyway, had a good chat, he's only been on Tinder a week himself and isn't there for hook-ups (this is my fear on Tinder, that I won't know how to tell what they want, as I always thought until I joined this thread that Tinder was mostly for youngsters looking for casual meets). Well, so he says...I take everything people on OLD say with a pinch of salt ...and wants to chat again tomorrow, so whatever happens, it will be good Tinder practice for me at the very least!
A question...how do you know whether they live in your area or are just visiting? It just tells me how many kilometres away they are, but how can I make sure I'm being shown guys who are actually local-ish?

back2basics the spelling thing REALLY gets my back up, too. This is one of the reasons I'm not good at OLD, because I get so judgey about their badly-written profiles and messages, it really puts me right off to see 'I am a down 2 earth proffesional, I'm looking for a descent woman 2 b my sole mate' etc...if you're a feckin 'proffesional' then you should be able to spell it, yes?
I keep telling myself that if we met the old fashioned way, I'd probably have no idea what their spelling is like, so why should it matter...but I just cannot get past it, it really is a complete turn-off for me.

back2basics I forgot to say, calling his ex a loon is not good. Even if she is a loon, it's a red flag to be talking badly of the ex, and no, I wouldn't want to take on a loon either.
If he's a bit 'meh' just don't see him again. Plenty more men out there

Yeah I'm a stickler for bad spelling too as I'm a secretary, sadly most men are bad at spelling though.

Witches I cant believe mr invisible. sounds like he just likes attention and bales at the prospect of - y'know, actually meeting
Well, Ive got an iron in the fire ive been texting/emailing who I havent actually met yet but who is baffling me already. He's intelligent and mildly flirtatious but as I wont text him anything rude yet as i havent met him and dont know if i fancy him, he's taken to calling me innexperienced, innocent and naive and Im wondering if this is a ploy to make me 'prove' my 'bad girl' credentials. Whatever it is, Im not telling him I fancy shagging him when i have no idea if i do yet (could be awkward when we meet). Anyone else had this?

Sparkles Im very jealous of you and your fireman let us know how you get on. I never meet firemen!

singleandfab I know, I've just deleted his number (but not blocked him) .. I'm not too bothered, as this was his 'second chance' with me, after we never met the first time years ago, so I was half-expecting it.
Now I'm just going to treat him as an experiment... Test out all these dating manual theories that withdrawing makes them up their game! ( but not bothered if it doesn't with him now)
Is that awful? Treating him as an experiment?
And YES to men wanting to 'sext' before meeting... Several. I don't like it and won't do it either, though I will be a bit flirty. I had one similar to yours, who didn't say I was inexperienced, but made it all about me not 'letting go' and being unable to 'just have fun and be myself, etc'... He really tried to make out it was all about me (rather than him being frustrated that he wasn't getting what he wanted) ... So I definitely think yours is trying to manipulate you into proving yourself.
In other news, I broke Tinder.
Yes, I swiped so much yesterday on my inaugural session that it ran out of men to offer me!
Given that I live in a city and not the Outer Hebrides, surely that's some sort of record? I am quite proud of this achievement!

fidelia good question, I was thinking the same thing after we all said 'red flag' to the man with the loony ex wife.
Actually, I think it's difficult to tell if it ALWAYS is a red flag..I mean, some people are just naturally very open and happy to tell people the honest truth on a first date, especially if their date asks about their separation/divorce etc. I guess it's the way they do it... I think if they mention it casually, as part of conversation then it's not really red-flaggy. Saying 'oh, well the kids only see her occasionally as she's a bit of a loon, but we manage blah blah'
is completely different to having to listen to them bad-mouthing the ex for whole chunks of the date and sounding bitter. THATS red flaggy.

Ha, Invisible has just whatsapped 'Hey, where are you?'
Presumably because I deleted him from contacts he can't see my whatsapp profile pic any more and is wondering why.
I'm going to take my time deciding whether I'm going to answer or let him think he's blocked. Either way, he can stay wondering for a while. Do him good, haha!

Witches yes deffo treat as an experiment, deserves nothing less n it could make him up his game.

Single I've never met a fireman either and had about 60 dates in all time I been single . He said was on about 2 week n crammed in 3 dates! Had a picture of him in uniform tho so bet was inundated! He very confident in himself (which I like) when I'm with him tho he very down to earth and bloody sexy as hell! We got into some hot kissing on last date so I think the next one will result in bedroom action waaaaaaaheeeeeyyy

Ooh, sparkles... sigh. He sounds lovely
I miss hot bedroom antics. It's been aaaaaaaages, haha!

Though I will admit that centuries ago before I was married I did have bedroom athletics with TWO firemen. Not at the same time, I hasten to add!! I just happened to date two firemen at separate times.
One was 6'4" and built like a rugby player...I harbour fond memories of literally being scooped up, thrown over his shoulder and conveyed to the bedroom, as if I was as light as a feather....oh, happy days!
Aint no-one scooping ME up like that these days, they'd do their back in

Witches

Just something about a sexy fireman though isn't there? Trouble is, he knows it too and so could I trust him although as he's 43 he not a young fireman I suppose n has his kids whenever he isn't working so appears a nice guy but I'm a little unsettled by how much I fancy him as I'm not used to it...trying to just enjoy it and not think about the future too much

Oh, yes, just go with it for now and enjoy it for what it is at the moment...fun! Just because he's confident and good looking doesn't automatically follow that he will mess you around...though I know it's difficult not to worry about it when you feel strongly about someone.
And think about it this way; he sounds like quite a catch, probably had a lot of interest and he chose to go on a date with YOU and see YOU again. So you obviously have a lot to offer! Why would he go looking for burgers when he's already got steak?

Anybody else have two different dating personas? With the ones I'm not that bothered about I feel confident on a date and am on top if my game flirt-wise, not worried about long silences in between texts etc... the ones I really fancy I am a jibbering needy wreck in my head and get a bit carried away message-wise! Gaaaaah!

Hi all, can I join? I have read a few of the previous threads which have worried me a bit but I have signed up to pof.

I did actually meet my second husband on Match 12 years ago which you would think would make me an expert but he was actually the only date I had from the site and I ignored many many red flags hence why he is now an ex!

So anyway my question is having joined this morning I have had quite a few meet requests but of course you have to pay to see them - I may be cycnical but are these just a bit of a con to get you to pay?

Look forward to getting and hopefully getting some good advice.

So my cosy night in with Brown Eyes was certainly er, cosy We caught up on the last few weeks, talked, kissed, kissed some more, spent the rest of the night in bed. Stupidly I didn't really broach the subject of whether this is only ever a regular casual thing in his eyes, or he sees it heading in any other direction. But he said he's not specifically dating anyone else and he does like me, and he would say otherwise if that wasn't the case. Before he left he mentioned 'next time' too, but I don't want this to just become a once a whenever thing. I like spending time with him. I'm trying not to now allow my feelings to start ruling, because I would have happily done casual (I still would, and I have done casual in the past with other irons!), but I like this guy more than I had anticipated. How do I play my next hand MNers?!

Sorry ladies my phone didn't show the updates until after I hit send on mine!! Now catching up!!!

Sick - yes I certainly have two personas and I wish I could be the confident go getter one all the time!

Sparkles - also jealous of your fireman date! He sounds delightful!

Witches- your moments with the firemen also sound extremely fun! Nothing like a guy who can pick you up and ahem... Throw you around.

Petals- I've never used match so cannot comment, but others on here may be able to help!

Sorry misszp I was maybe a bit confusing I've joined Plenty of Fish which is free but got quite a lot of such and such would like to meet - but to see them you have to pay - not sure how much it is but not keen to pay just yet! Had a couple of messages as well so maybe just see if i get some more messages.

Thanks

Petal yes I wouldn't pay just yet as you can pretty much do most things without paying anyway.

Sick yes I'm same more worried about lack of texts when I like them, as I don't text much if not that keen so think they same.

Witches thanks about the steak I'm hoping he thinks that way n need to just think that I do deserve to meet someone right for me n not think he can do better

Misszp I just think when you like someone you just have to play it day by day date by date. Does he take you out too or just wanna sleep with you?

Hello all, this is Witches...I had an urge to change my username, I think I might have said enough to identify myself on another thread. Silly me.

Just wanted to let you know...as you were, ladies!
Oh, by the way, I've been chatting again on Tinder to the nice guy I met last night and he's asked me out :-)
I like the look of him in his photos, he seems funny and intelligent (proper messages and spelling, no 'hi hun wot u lookin 4' crap. And he's very local. So all good.

petal I'm on Plenty of Fish off and on, and although you have to pay to see who wants to meet you, you can see your mutual 'meet me's without paying.
Basically, if you play the Meet Me game, and you click 'yes' to anyone who has said they'd like to meet you, they become a Mutual Meet Me. likewise, if a guy that you've said 'yes' to plays it and says 'yes' to meeting you.
So when you log in, you can click on the Meet Me tab and then select Mutual Meet Me's from within it...and lo, there are all the guys you've liked that like you back
So it's worth playing even if you're not a paying member as lots of people do play because of that.
That's the desktop site though, I don't use it on my phone as the app is rubbish on my little screen.

Thing

Thanks for that very useful I will give that a go! Save myself some money as I need to do things as cheaply as possible at the mo.