Tinder Temptresses Unite....It's Dating Thread 106

[PrizeyPrize]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

Barb I think I remember your previous posts - was he the one that went on holiday after your first date and you did not hear from him or was that another poster?

Saddened to read that men do not always appear to mature even in their 40's.... Text speak and poor conversational skills... :(

Miss yes that was me, still can't get over why you would go to the trouble of even arranging the date/time etc followed half hour by the text saying they had a great time and looking forward to next week only to ghost me! I know he didn't die on holiday or anything his what's app and joining POF on his return confirmed that but still seem at lot of effort to go to when he could of just said " thanks for a nice evening will call you when u get back" but hey ho

Thanks again Witches!
Good and a bit disappointing to hear that age is not an indicator of manners Will make a mental note! Oh dear, I think this OLD will be a big learning curve..!

misszp I think just ask him about Friday?
I don't think following up on plans is chasing. After all you already spoke about it last week. At least then you will know.

whatam1doing I like your attitude towards dating, I will try to look at it like that from now on!

Barb - I remember that! This is why a thick skin is so important and I think whilst it is hard, when it is early days we have to try and and not second guess the reason who other peoples actions. Onwards and Upwards!

I text him earlier on your advice to see how he is and to ask about if we still have plans. Watch this space.

I mean for, not who!

datingbarb That's awful when someone does that! I met someone in RL end of May, went out on three dates, all really nice and he said he liked me and then just suddenly ghosted me! I really don't understand it! But like I said earlier I am very honest person and expect the same from the other person. Unfortunately it seems that a lot people would rather ghost than be honest, a lesson I am learning at the moment!

Actually it does baffle me even more when someone says they like you or had a good time and look forward to the next date and then suddenly ghost..

But who knows why they do it? And we'll never know!

Hey, I'm an old timer on the dating threads (never thought I'd say that!), but have been absent for a while as have had loads going on. I was seeing someone, but ended it because my heart wasn't really in it, and it had been quite complicated.

Someone who I really, really liked who I dated in January is back on the scene, but I've no idea where it's headed. He ghosted me, so I shouldn't be allowing it to head anywhere, but for some stupid reason, I am.

Witches and Prosecco... My chilled out text meant he replied actually asking if he was seeing me Friday... I cannot get use to this guys chilled out texts at all.

Tanya I think unless there is a solid reason for ghosting, then tread very carefully! To be honest I think a single text explaining why someone is cutting contact is just good manners at the very least! Has he said sorry, or acknowledged why at all?

misszp, no he's never acknowledged explicitly why he behaved as he did, and I got so caught up with stuff going on in my life, I let it go. He said in a lengthy message to me the other day that he "got involved with someone, the wrong person", who I suspect was his most recent ex. He also had a bad accident. But there are no excuses really.

I'm a highly independent, sensible feminist who expects fairly high standards of behaviour from people, so I'm pissed off at myself for allowing him back into my thoughts in any way.

misszp So he replied asking if he is seeing you on Fri? Sometimes I think communication by text is so confusing! And frustrating!!
So all sounds good then?

Hi tanyadm, I remember you from the earlier threads - I was just lurking as have only literally joined OLD last week.

prosecco yes he did and said Friday sounded good but we've made no solid plans as of yet and his contact has tailed off again this eve. So i think he wants to see me not he's either playing it cool or just sees it as very casual. If I end up seeing him Friday I think I'll just chat to him about it.

tanya I think it's important we maintain our standards of how we wish to be treated. I would just see him as an iron to text and make sure you keep other irons in the fire!

Just on train to meet mr v tall..... And guess who's texting??

what still can't believe Planeman is being weird - he was so wonderful to you in the beginning. I hope You at least have an awesome evening with Mr Tall.

Echo everyone saying about the meh messages from blokes - I could scream at the Hey Hun xxx ones and the ones where they say 'anything you want to know just ask' and when you ask, they say 'well I'm just me'

I had a lunch date with a perfectly nice guy today, no spark whatsoever though. I'm wondering if the problem is me tbh - lots of dates with nice guys, but nada. I even cancelled a date with the Latino tonight (just said I was ill) .
I also think I'm the female equivalent of datingbarb 's ghosting guy - today's date asked if he could see me again, and my people pleasing came into effect and I said yes, but I don't really want to. Now I have to get out of it

Aha, Planeman!
I am dying to know what he's saying!

skyrabbit I sometimes wonder myself if it's just me, as I seem to find so few of them attractive enough. I don't mean physically necessarily, though that is part of it. There's just so few I have a real spark with... Most of them I could imagine being just friends with!
Maybe it's some biological middle aged thing... I'm highly unlikely to be reproducing at my age, so maybe my body says 'nah, you don't want to bother with all that sex stuff anymore, I'll make them all unattractive to you. Then you can be quite happy with a cup of Olvaltine and a copy of the People's Friend when you go to bed instead'

witches that made me smile. I never read People's friend but I'm intrigued.

I've got a date tomorrow. Need to get in the zone

Long distance is on his way down to me for cheeky sleep over. Yayyyyyy

Did I mention he is fab in bed

We've loads of plans for weekend..... Slightly concerned things maybe moving bit fast.
He seems genuinely smitten, but I'm holding back a wee bit.

Hey ladies, not posted in a while as still going well with my regular guy (who was my first and only on line date who started off as a poor kisser by the way, always worth hanging on in there!). Just wanted to pick your brains on unusual or fun ideas for dates, keep it fresh and fun! Hard when you're juggling children, jobs and being permanently shattered to keep the fun going. Don't want to lose that, all suggestions gratefully received!

How do I stop myself from doing dating rule no.3? The logically very sensible but hard to put into practice not emotiomally investing too soon part? Have had my heart squished a bit by a RL dalliance with someone (we've had a spark for a long long time) that never got off the ground and have had a few dates with somebody else lovely -so far- but I fear that I am all or nothing. If I like him, I bloody well like him! I wouldn't be seeing him otherwise. Do I just have to accept that part of dating is that I might get hurt? That bit terrifies me. Would welcome your sage advice!

Hi Tulip. I guess if it has to be about a fun activity all the time it might get a bit forced? Just a thought. If you enjoy each others company I'd hope that it doesnt have to be about the thing, more about the who? I'm new to all this though so may be talking utter bollocks!

Oh yeah witches planeman texting all of a sudden as I was on my way out... Typical! Just usual stuff no mention of him disappearing wanting to arrange a date for next Tuesday ...argh the thought of Amazing sex again it's tempting !!!!

But my "blind" date was lovely am just on train home and had a fabulous time he's charming funny inserting and we laughed so much ..he's also a good kisser !! Seeing him again at the weekend!!!

Interesting not inserting !!! Non of that on a first date

sicknspan I wish I could give you some advice on rule 3, it's a tough one for sure. I think in life that you take risks if you want to be happy. Nobody wants to be hurt but you have to take a leap of faith if you like someone and yes run the risk of being let down. It's not the best answer but for me it's how it is. I've been let down badly twice in real life and definitely opened myself up to hurt as I'm heart on my sleeve and just don't seem to be able to be guarded! But I've also come to accept its how I am. I'm honest and open but a lot of people aren't. Sorry not much help!

Regards my dilemma, I really do enjoy spending time with my guy but we got quite heavy quite quick and just want to have more fun, without spending a fortune. I'd happily stay in bed every time I saw him but we're kind of living in our own little bubble too much I think.