Tinder Temptresses Unite....It's Dating Thread 106

[PrizeyPrize]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

Ooh cestlavie that sounds like the sort of thing that would really irritate me!! You're totally doing the right thing by not demanding that he lets you know what on earth is going on - but hugely frustrating!

Witches How are things going with you?

I'd agree, Motheroreilly, get all your windows open for a nice cool breeze, ice cold drink and have a bit of a preen. I've found the hot weather this week has made me feel fat and lazy; I'm so pleased it's a bit cooler but still nice for the weekend. Find an outfit/hairstyle/bit of glam that makes you feel fab - I managed it with a nice lippy for taking my dad to the local last night and it chee re d me up no end, so it really does work!

Thanks Wont.... yep has been slowing driving insane this week.

When I text on Wednesday he even apologised for being rubbish the last couple of days he'd been busy with work & stuff (whatever stuff is?). No one is that busy he couldn't send a 5 second text... sorry he had time to eat and use the loo and FB.... piss poor excuse really. I'm surprised he responded to my text as quickly as he did though.

I don't know I'm verging on giving him the benefit of the doubt as if it was me going through what he's going through I'd be quiet too, but if I was dating someone and liked them, I'd keep them in the loop. Everyone is different I guess and I don't know him well enough to know whether this is normal for him to retreat to his "man cave".

Why is dating so bloody difficult for some and easy for others!!!!

Hi robots, Oh, I'm glad the birthday meal/party with the old friends went well! I didn't really think you had anything to worry about, but I could see where you were coming from with the 'young gold-digger' thing. Your weekend plans sound lovely, I wish I was nearer London so I could do the museums and exhibitions more often. Picnic on the common....sigh....so romantic....
I'm ok thanks, still not technically active on OLD at the moment but I did post earlier this week/end of last week about someone I had got into conversation with before I decided to give the whole thing a rest. He had no photo, but writing style seemed a little familiar and he got in touch again this week to ask would I still consider talking and maybe meeting? Turns out he was someone I really liked from my first attempt at OLD nearly 3 years ago, but never met for various reasons. He said he always regretted not meeting me. I also know what he looks like from before AND he's since sent me updated photos, he's still as nice-looking as I remembered.

So, we've been texting quite a bit when he has wifi and he seems keen to meet when he's back from hols abroad, should be next week. I'm keeping an open mind though, I know last time his work got in the way and in the end I lost patience...he seems different now though, much more certain about what he wants, so we shall see!

CestLaVie, are you sure you're not me in some parallel universe?! I say EXACTLY the same things....it doesn't take a minute to text 'hi, how's things?'....and it's even more annoying when you stalk see that they've been online and they are telling you they've been too busy to text. Honestly, if they didn't set the pace they do with the texting/phoning etc in the first place, it wouldn't bother me if I didn't hear from them for a few days, it's just when they go from almost constant, too-much texting to nothing overnight that's so odd.

By the way, if he hasn't mentioned he will be away, how do you know he will be away, IYSWIM?
Witches - yes that did cross my mind. He is away and he is going to be enjoying himself and he did say in his last message to have a great weekend, but he asked what I had planned and a couple of other questions, which made me think 'oh hes prompting discussion so will take the time to reply'. It wasn't a 'I am off now, have a great weekend!' text which made me think to leave him to it. GOSH why do I have to be an over analyser ha!

cestlavie I have been there too with the ghosting and excuses - heck I may find myself there right now. In my honest opinion as well, I think some guys are NOT upfront about wanting something casual so once you have DTD, they pull back. It may be his personal issues as life does happen, but I think deep down there is little excuse for radio silence for more than a day or two, it takes very little effort to send a 'sorry, things are hectic' type text.

Robots I haven't read your posts before but good luck for what sounds like could be a lovely weekend!!

Witches - I didn't make myself clear, sorry! He did tell me he was going to be away as we couldn't do anything this weekend... He gave me a full running order of his plans to be fair... So maybe I need to chill out!

misszp oh, I see what you mean now...he left it open-ended. This is why texting makes dating so complicated! They ask a question, we reply, possibly ask one of our own and get radio silence! It's the text equivalent of suddenly walking away from someone mid-convo in real life, without saying you're going!
I think some people just don't use the same 'rules of conversation' with texts. They often can't reply straightaway, I realise that, because we text in between doing other things, while in a face-to-face convo we are more focussed on the person. And then, if we don't reply straight away, we forget to reply at all....thus looking like we are ignoring the other texter.

I have done that quite unintentionally, and got a peeved text several days later from someone wanting to know if they had 'upset me'...my fault! That would never happen face to face or in a phone call, because you can't just 'disappear' without it looking bizarre.

I guess unless we ask outright 'Are you ignoring me?' we will never know. But of course, we can't ever ask that because it immediately makes us look weird/clingy/stalkerish.

Hi, sorry I will properly comment shortly! I need a quick what do I wear?!!!
Meeting Brazilian dude at a city pub at 6. What do I wear in this heat ?? Is it jeans and converse, sparkly but wintry, heels, arrrgggh!!!

Thanks witches and wontlet Ive just got in the habit of sitting in all weekend on my own watching TV and ironing! I feel safe when I do that but I know I need to stop it I'm only 35 got years left in me.

I gave my head a wobble today, got a dress out and facetimed my sister. She suggested some other shoes and oh my goodness they make the whole outfit 100% less frumpy. Then I pushed the boat out and got nail
Varnish and hairspray from the pound shop what a lucky man ha ha.

I tried sone YouTube hair tutorials but I don't think I'll try one tomorrow will do them for work next week.

Oooo skyrabbit I like the sound of him! I don't know what do you feel most comfortable in?

Aargh I'm on the train but I feel mumsy and frumpy I can do winter cool but not summer

Well done motheroreilly, isn't it funny how changing one thing (like shoes) can alter the whole look and make you feel completely different? And I totally know what you mean about feeling safe. I do exactly the same on the weekends my son stays with his dad, I've always enjoyed my own company to a certain extent and I love a quiet Friday night all to myself with a good film and a takeaway/chocolate (having one tonight, yay!) But I suspect my reluctance to go out sometimes is more about getting too comfortable in my routine rather than just needing some alone time

Good luck sky rabbit what did you opt for?! Let us know how it goes!

Rabbit good luck on your date!! Loo update please!

witches I think everything has been very casual until now. He goes travelling at the end of the year for a few months too, so perhaps that fact alone means he assumes it's a casual thing, although he's come across as he likes spending time with me and he also said that he's gutted hes met me now at a time when he's going to leave for a while, but that he'd happily continue things when he gets back IF it ever went anywhere. I think the issue is perhaps as I have tried to be so laid back and breezy I perhaps didn't set any standards on the communication front. Maybe he also assumes as he's told me he's away that's enough? But in my eyes the sudden lack of contact after such consistency over a period of many weeks... It doesn't sit well, hence my gut feeling of him slowly ghosting. At the same time, he's away so I'm not going to sweat it until i know he's home again. AND; your Friday night sounds perfect- nothing better than your own company and a good film sometimes!

Oh, he sounds like he's been OLD too long Fidelia ... He's bitter and twisted about it all, all women online are horrible Etc etc and yes, he WILL want the last word. Not happy with your reasons for saying you're not compatible he now wants you to prove why you think that.
Red flag for me is anyone who asks if I have Kik messenger. I might be wrong but I always suspicious about that because they don't have to give you their phone number, and I tend to think anyone who is genuine will have no need to hide their number.
I always suspect it's so they can either send unwanted photos of their man-scaping, or so they can disappear whenever they like leaving you unable to contact them.

Haha!! Promise peonies promise I will properly coach up on event be's updates tomorrow!
Back from date - my ginger Brazilian is unbelievably intelligent and super cute we had beers and then went for Japanese fod and I just managed o catch last rain home.
Wants to see me tomorrow. Only downsides are he's a bit short and a crap kisser. Are they deal breakers????

Aww, Skyrabbit how lovely.
Short? not a deal breaker (unless he lied about his height in profile, in which case the deceit would put me off)
Crap kisser? Possibly. Would depend how crap and how much kissing matters to you I guess.
Quirky was THE worst kisser ever. Horrible. Like having a sucker fish locked onto my face.

Oh no! Crap kisser is the worst. Ive tried 'instructing ' men on this in the past (yes, I know, dont say it) and it never ends well as everyone thinks theyre a great kisser.

What was he? iron lips or goldfish?

fidelia just tell him you dont date arseholes

thewitches laughed out loud at 'like having a suckerfish on my face.'

wiches loving sucker fish! He was of the iron lips persuasion. Genuinely thought he was trying to break my teeth at one point. I did like his statement that he was Latino so he was just gonna say outright that he liked me, then kissed me though. The short I candela with. Although if he's 5'9" like he says, I'll eat my extra long jeans.

fidelia I think it's a case of don't feed the bitter idiots. Just don't reply At all when they have the shitty I hate all women profiles. No good can come of it. Equally guys who say they're genuine and honest probably aren't. They're just dicks, but more polite ones who think that as long as they hold a door open for you, they're some kind of feminist God. X