30 day no contact for the broken hearted - starts here

[Thewizardo]

I will be using this as my own personal no contact diary.

read here first

Please feel free to join in the thread if you are attempting to go no contact with someone. If you've just been dumped, left or had your heart broken.

I'm on day 1 today. So far today I've blocked his FB/what's app/Instagram etc. I text him to ask him to leave me alone as he's texting quite a bit. Only emergency texts only about DD.

Just wished I could sleep. So tired still keep waking constantly... I doN't want to do this anymore!

Morning waving and silk.
I so know exactly what you both mean about the sleeping and feeling like this all the time.
It will be two weeks on Tuesday since he's stayed here already.im focusing today on being happy and positive in front of dc and then I've got the dreaded meet up alone with him where I'm hoping we can have a conversation to decide the boundaries of this break but not discuss the whys or anything else as that stops either of us seeing past anything and it spirals as ee are both so angry still.
This afternoon I've got a stupid amount of grass to cut and going to rope dc in to help.that will feel like an achievement.
Going to start organising dc friends for coming over and them doing stuff as well so that will get abit of normality for them.
The holidays are the worst time I think as trying to juggle work home and entertain dc gor long periods of Tim has been bloody hard.
Keep going ladies.we can do this

Morning ladies, I've been bogged under in work so haven't been on here much. I still in the midst of no contact but now I've started to feel hurt that he hasn't tried to contact me even though I know, the way I'm feeling that is a good thing because I wouldn't ignore him I would text back.
I haven't read the full thread yet but, well done waving on day 14!
Crazy I hope the meet up goes well.
Is there anything you ladies could take to help you sleep? I've heard camomile tea is helpful? This is just a phase and it will pass but that doesn't make it any easier to get through it.

Hi flurple.
I think once in back to work properly on wednesday our routine will be bak to kind of normality that mil will have girls wed thur while I'm at work and my mum Fri and him sat so my evenings will be busy doing house stuff washing etc as I've been working all day.im hoping I will feel more tires physically.
Right niw I feel drained and tires but emotionally and my brains constantly ticking as I'm sure the other ladies are too.
I have told myself that after todays hopefully calm meet up I will know where we are and will walk away in a different frame of mind.i will get my emotional shit together and start building a routine for me and dc instead if feeling like I'm staggering around with too much time to fill,as that's when my mind works too much.
I really hope that once things settle down for him he will realise where we are and he will miss things.im at that stage hopefully going past it but I think until now hes blocked it out and it will come after today.
Due to his work hours(major issue in home life anyway)he doesn't finish before 7.30-8 at night so I've been keeping dc up waiting to see if he cones,however I'm going to tell him today that its unfair on them if they're knackered and I need some time to myself as well as he get here and doesn't go till after 9pm.
Don't get me wrong I want him here but I'm not going to be waiting every day to see if contact is made as if he does finish too late I find myself feeling disappointed I haven't seen him and then I get negative again.need to stop that cycle from today.
I'm going to try to agree maybe two eves a week to come in on way home from work and he has them on a sat when I'm working and Sundays really not sure yet.
Once they're bak to school Sundays are going to be the only day I have with them so I will make plans.
On occasion when I have asked if hes planning on seeing them on a Sunday (been two now)hes always abit like I don't mind,so I say I need to know if you are so I can make arrangements too,its almost like he thinks Hel just txt like he did last week expecting me to be waiting around,which I don't want to be.
Rambling again,sorri guys.

I've been lurking on this thread for a while and today's the day I join. I'm currently on day 4 of no contact. Ex partner has been in my life since the age of 11 and we've been in a on and off relationship since the age of 15. We have one DD aged 6. Well ex has a alcohol problem and can be very abusive. The longest I have had no contact with him has been 18 months and then he got in touch with me last year. Ever since then he has become a addiction and we've been on and off. He also has another relationship with a girl that's on and off and I feel destroyed by the whole scenario. On Wednesday he was really abusive to me telling me to "fuck off and any other Man would smash my skull in".
I feel so alone and depressed. I feel I'm letting my daughter down because of my depression. Last night I wanted to call him so bad and I couldn't sleep I wanted to know if he was with her. I ended up on the phone to The Samaritans. My self esteem is low and my future seems bleak and I feel like if I was with him at least I wouldn't have to feel all this.

Will be giving in today just can't do this anymore it hurts too much. Glad you ladies are stronger than me

Hi Lady, Hello everyone.
Wow, what a statement!
I think anyone who mentions smashing a skull in wouldn't be worth breathing for! Stay on here with us and well away from him!
I decided I wouldn't work today, that I really need all the good me time I can get now. Someone asked me today when I will concentrate on me and not pleasing lots of people. That really hit home!

Popping in to the chemist today for something herbal to make me sleep. Been tossing and turning all night. Thank god today is not a working day. I'm so tired and low. I want it to stop.

WavingNotDrowning, hope you managed to get some sleep.

Hope today will turn out to be a good day for all of us.

Hi all. Today is the day I start the Freedom programme on line. Have been promising myself I would do, for the last 6 months,have just signed up and paid the ten quid this morning.
I will report back.
I want to make better choices in my next relationship, not just rinse and repeat with another abusive man.
We all deserve better x

To the lady that just said shea giving in today,you are as strong as us.
I felt the same as you.im nearly on week two since he didn't come home and in two weeks I feel like I've been walking in treacle with a fuzzy head.
My dc keep me going and my boss is being amazing
Do you have someone in rl that you can rant to as well,?that's helping me loads.
I am meeting with him today to sort out the boundaries of this break we are on and have decided once I walk away from the meeting in getting my head in order and going to start planning things that need finishing round the house and meeting friends when not working.
I have ordered new bedding and sofa cushions as my home doesn't feel like my home right now but that will change with time.
Keep going ladies.
This thread has been amazing for me.
I've also downloaded a book this morning on relationships and how we view and behave so hopefully that may help me to understand more.
Hope you all have a relatively calm and peaceful Sunday xx

User1469812985- you can do this, I gave in so many times in the early days and cried myself to sleep most nights. It was agonising and I even had a severely low night in which I posted on here. So I understand where you are coming from, I'm now on day 17 and it gets easier, if you do message him, no one here will judge but try to distract yourself today, see how you feel tomorrow morning?
Resilience I hope the course goes well for you that sounds like a good idea.
Crazy - what's the book called? And don't feel you have to apologise for rambling, this thread is here for that.
Silk - that sounds like a good idea to help you sleep.

It truly is Waving, just as you think you're getting there you have a bad day. I'm glad you're feeling better.

Almost did the same today waving.. Hard isn't it? Just wished I had a crystal ball and could see what life will be like in 6 months or so. (Or perhaps better not?)

Well just back from our meet up.had a walk and stopped for a cold drink.sat outside and talked properly just us two for two hours.
The whole thing was calm and honest.
He is taking steps to deal with the individual factors that have been causing issues like I am.
We both agree we need to be on the same sheet where the dc are.
We both agree to be respectful of each other.we had a moment where he noticed I'm not wearing my rings,even though he hasn't worn his for two weeks.
He was abit taken aback but I just calmly explained he isnt wearing his and I'm doing what I need to do in my mind to keep positive.
I said me living in the home with all the memories is hard where as ge goes bak to a place that has no reminders so mist see that,which he does.
I've asked that he txt's to see if girls are still up during the week when he finishes work and also said if he cant come jn as its late he can call and say hi to them.its important to both of us that he keeps regular contact with them as he was the at home parent for years and for them its very hard.i said I understand its hard for him too but their needs must come first.he also understood and agreed.
We both agree we have told parents and our siblings that we are having a break due to not getting on and so we are going to keep the lines of communication open as I've told him he gives me mixed signals.
When we got bak he put the new tv on the bedroom wall for me but was again abit stand backish that id bought it.i asked what he expected me to do and had he have txt yesterday to say he was taking it he could have put the new one up then,but he understands.
I've said like with taking my rings off he cant expect me to sit around wailing and although I want him here with us I respect he needs some space and he needs to respect I need to do what I'm doing as well.
I packed up his DVDs from our room last night and ddi tell him today as I thought he wld want them as he's taken some others at same time as tv.he seemed abit but out but again I explained I want the bedroom to be a place I want to go to as its hard so have changed I a little bit.
I asked that if I arrange to go out on a sun eve with a friend would he come down and have dc and get them showered and ready for bed as I get no time to be with friends as I'm either at work or with dc and now I'm doing everything in going to need his support so I can have a break,clear my head and keep myself positive.he agreed to this as well so now I'm feeling so much more stable and positive and I also feel that he knows I'm not going to sit and mope as neither of us have been happy,not just him.
For the minute these are our goals and then we can go from there.
I feel so much more calmer and in control of myself right now,not neccesserily the situation as that will take time but I feel like today I can now face the world after two weeks of hell.

I don't have a hope in hell of our relationship working out either Waving. The more I think about it the more I'm convinced that there is no point having a conversation in a week and a half's time as previously agreed. There just is no point and I don't really want to prolong the pain to be honest. Got myself "night time calms" from the chemist today. Perhaps if I'm no so exhausted I will feel a bit better.

I'm wishing my life away here but really wish I was 6 months older now. Thing is I will still be in the sane situation unless I make an effort to get to know new people and that is not going to happen on my sofa is it. Seriously considering a dating site. If only as a distraction. I have to stop obsessing about him. Can't even watch the telly without being reminded of him. This is so rubbish!!! I want to text him, but I'm not going to.

I do feel better waving thank you.
I feel much more in control of my emotions and where we are right now.Thats what I needed to know so as I can start to get into a better routine at home and in my mind.
Hopefully I may sleep better tonight as have a hectic day tomorrow and need to start looking after myself.
I've neglected myself for two weeks and cant stomach a meal at all,let alone feel hungry but I'm going to start trying,just little and often.
Had a good chat with my mum and dad this afternoon as well so feel better about that too.
They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger,well blimey I must have balls of steel by now surely

I too wish I was 6 months on. I'd like to just feel normal again. Actually, I wish I could erase all the men I've met from my life and my head. Maybe that's what I really want to do now and really control my thoughts more.
I'm worn out today so I think it makes my mood worse.
I met ex on POF so it's really put me off going on there ever again. It's actually completely put me off OLD altogether.

I was out with friends today and I had mixed feelings of relief that I wasn't like them with all the bickering with husbands that was going on but also a bit sad to once again be single.
Anyway, better is coming.

Waving, heard people taking on the train about plenty more fish... After what you said thinking about joining as well. Right now taking my herbal tablets and hoping for a good night sleep. Tomorrow will be a better day I hope. Baby steps .. Hope you all sleep well ladies. We can and will do this.