30 day no contact for the broken hearted - starts here

[Thewizardo]

I will be using this as my own personal no contact diary.

read here first

Please feel free to join in the thread if you are attempting to go no contact with someone. If you've just been dumped, left or had your heart broken.

I'm on day 1 today. So far today I've blocked his FB/what's app/Instagram etc. I text him to ask him to leave me alone as he's texting quite a bit. Only emergency texts only about DD.

Good morning.
I woke up in the night too but my first thought was what I have to do this morning (then him). Those thoughts are starting to fade so it will happen.
I don't expect any messages anyone now either. I have brief thoughts of who I could meet in the future so there is hope for all of us.
A male friend sent me an article about consciously aware women wanting an emotionally equivalent male and asked my thoughts. I agreed and said I would want a man who is aware of his emotions, is brave enough to deal with issues and live life, not plough through.
Was I right?

Good morning all, another week further along in our journey.
I agreed, the positive affirmations do work so try them. Lots out there to use ,or make up your own.
Keep keeping on people x

Jenny that
sounds a perfect scenario for a man , here's hoping, do not think I am ready by a mile , now starting to enjoy renewing things I used to do, sure I have my sad moments, but trying to move on .
Hope you had a good holiday Resilence, glad your back
Keep going waving , a step at a time

It sounds like we're mostly having good days today, resilience hope you enjoyed your holiday, Jenny and Waving meeting a man like that does sound nice.
Waving, i think positive affirmations are a good idea they help us remember how strong we really are.
I just saw him and his new girlfriend and although I felt the initial gut wrench, I walked away realising I am so lucky to be away from him and hoping he doesn't treat her as badly, I think that's growth?

fantastic growth Flurple, you are doing so well .

Been off the thread for a few days.. I went on a date, last minute thing and realise I'm nowhere near ready for a relationship. I don't regret going as he was a nice person and in someways has done me good.
But, I still love my ex. I've also been in contact with him. So back to day 1 for me.
Now I KNOW I need to concentrate on getting my life in order and being happy in myself. I'm really tired, the anxiety has gone but I feel very alone in it all..

Waving, it is right to feel sad, hand hold, it will pass, please do not drink , it will only make the pain subside for awhile .
Soon and it will be soon, you will realise you are better off, and some day you will be ready to carry on . I am a great one of the feeling that something happens for a reason, you will find someone who will treat you as you deserve, someone kind and loving , not long now x

It was long distance relationship which is hard enough in itself as its not 'real' -does that make sense? So I haven't seen him for 5 weeks so I class that as the split as things deteriorated. Absolutely stupidly I messaged him drunk and told him I'd been in a date, I'm not ready and I love him. He's reacted with extreme anger (via message)
I wanted to remain on good terms. I think I've blown that. I am such an idiot. I'm on hol from tomorrow too.
We just have to let go. Have to. It will pass yes, but it's a bumpy ride. I found time alone to do things helps but I'm feeling quite isolated at times.
Please don't message him. I'm rooting for you. Don't let go of your self respect.

I was married to a narcissist so yes being not real makes total sense. I have been where you are now, the urge to contact will pass, let the anger he has shown to you be a good reason not to contact him, it will help you , sounds ridiculous, but it will give you focus, I know its a bumpy path, here for you , and everyone else, you can do this , I promise it will get better

Sigh....day 1. Again.

Keep on keeping on everyone

FreefromHarm
Thank you so much. You've no idea how much just reading that helped me. I'm a mess.

Here to help , you are going to be ok x

Waving, it was 2 years which I fell into very soon after leaving my dh when I really didn't have my wits about me.

Apple, I think some things happen for a purpose and I think sometimes seeing their angry side makes you realise who they really are. I saw an angry side to him when I ended it and that made me realise a few other things about him.
I did a completely bonkers job this morning which I didn't want to do but had agreed to, putting all my effort in to it when I was tired and feeling far from enthusiastic did me good and it was so ridiculous that I think it has shifted me a little bit further on in my next chapter of life in which he doesn't exist. I think the more experiences I have without him / that I can't share with him, the further away I get from him which is helping me. Him not sharing my life is his loss now. He was the first person I shared work I'd completed with and today I realised that I haven't even thought of sending anything on to him. It really does get easier.
I've got a rare 2 days without ds so am going to really make the most of time to myself. I hope you're all okay this evening.

Hi all, yes you get to see their real sides when you rile them or the NC really starts to bite. That's when you know you've made the right decision.
Well, had a great hols. UK beach, sun, sea, seagulls and loads of ice cream, fab.
I was back in work today, spent a bit of time deleting a load of old emails between me and him. Read most of them first, some made me sad, especially the mushy hopeful ones (from me mostly to him), but generally it was pretty therapeutic pressing" empty deleted folder". Not had the heart to delete the photos yet but will get there.
Takes a while folks I guess is what I'm saying, but we will get there.
Hugs to you all,keep on keeping on x

Doner-you are most certainly NOT SAD ( well not in that way anyway) we are all here for you to rant offload whatever it takes. One minute / hour/day at a time - baby steps

I'm extremely low, can't concentrate. Really regretful at sending the text. The anger and things he said were awful. I was stupid to go on a date, thankfully I've been honest with the guy and he is fine about it. Why did I make that stupid decision? I think perhaps it made me feel more in control.
Thanks JennyMe and freefromform.
I need to take responsibility for my own actions. Definitely going to have time alone..

Is it just me or has doners message disappeared? Cant see it on my screen now :\

Waving- thanks. I'm going on holiday tomorrow and just can't concentrate or feel excited. I was doing so well at first but feel I've fallen off track. I'm extremely annoyed at myself for messaging him. How do I get over doing that?

You get over it Apple by keep on keeping on.

Did contacting him make you feel better?No. So just remember that next time you are tempted to contact or respond to him again.

You are not an idiot. You are doing the best you can , in a crappy situation.

You go and enjoy your holiday. Have a fab time. Turn off your phone, kick back and enjoy.

Onwards and upwards x

Thanks resilience. Contacting him has made me feel terrible. I feel like I just want to make things right and apologise but I can't.
I'm surprised at his reaction too and the message content but I'm also stupid to have done what I did. I'm praying I feel better in a few days.