30 day no contact for the broken hearted - starts here

[Thewizardo]

I will be using this as my own personal no contact diary.

read here first

Please feel free to join in the thread if you are attempting to go no contact with someone. If you've just been dumped, left or had your heart broken.

I'm on day 1 today. So far today I've blocked his FB/what's app/Instagram etc. I text him to ask him to leave me alone as he's texting quite a bit. Only emergency texts only about DD.

Shit, day one again for me! One day I will get to day 3!

Hope this gives you all a smile

Yep. I know that day two evening seems to be a struggle, so going to plan a distraction for tomorrow.

We can do this! Just wish we didn't have to.

Polka you found a photo of me! I am even wearing my Queen sash!

Waving I have plenty more to lose, but that weight doesn't want to stay away. Sadly.

Polka I've also found that I do better when I somehow get beyond that struggle to accept that we have to do all this painful stuff. Sometimes acceptance comes as a little gift when you are tired and sore and have a moment of clarity, sometimes when you read something you relate to, but sometimes it's really hard to find. It's so helpful though, it makes a happy future (and sometimes present) seem more achievable.

I am having a little struggle with a moment of unaccountable jealousy - don't know why as I don't want him back - I think it's just ego - but I have noticed that these pangs are not so overwhelming and they last for much shorter amounts of time. Roll on the day when I wake up and find they just don't affect me any more.

Great quote. Keep them coming!
Hare, you are then Queen of your Castle.

Day 7... Been an odd day. Feeling OK but still waiting for some sort of message from him that he's sorry for making me miserable. I know it's never coming but I keep hoping he would acknowledge he's treated me so badly. Last night I had a message come through at 12.30am and it woke me up. I automatically assumed it was him at that time and my heart was racing but it ended up being a client (self employed!!) . I was so mad and this morning when I woke I realised it was because I am still holding out for a message from him. Why do I keep doing this to myself? On a positive I've got to a whole week later without making any contact myself even though every part of me wants to call him. Really hoping another week will be easier.
Well done to everyone still working through the heartache xxx

Oh such can feel your pain!! Day 6 here and I'm hurting so much today. Have had to sit on my hands to stop texting...What's wrong with me?
Everytime my phone pings my stomach does a flip and then its like being slapped in the face when its not him :( xx

well done everyone for today, I have struggled with my feelings today, not sad as such just unsettled , cannot concentrate on anything. two weeks for me, I know it's the calm before the storm having to go to court over the next few months and it will be hard I expect he will bring his latest ow.
I had some bad news about my health , all the beatings have taken their toll, so a tad sorry for myself, keeping busy, not a fan of evenings .
Have a better evening ladies

youwouldthink....hearing phone go is the worst feeling. I wish I could just switch it off for a month or more but I'm self-employed so need it on yet when a friend messages asking how I am i get cross it's not him....how bloody bad is that. They care he doesn't!

There is nothing wrong with you, or with any of us, we just care and love too much and sadly the wrong people.

I'm so sorry to hear your news Freefromharm, I hope you are OK and have someone with you?

Time for sleep ladies, tomorrow a new day. Sending everyone love xx

Suchplonker, Thank you, I am alone tonight but counting my blessings watching long lost families, sleep tight , let tomorrow be a better day

I know I'm late in the day but id like to join too. Told DH I needed space after his affair. He's text me random questions and he's rung a couple of times in last couple of days to ask question about something so I'm claiming today as my day 3. Today I've deleted his convo off whatsapp and I will not stalk his Twitter. I'm doing this for me as I'd like to emotionally detach as he has, though he still wants us to work at being together (just isn't doing anything about it). So day 3 done and counting xx

Welcome Lippy, it is early days so be kind to yourself , you are doing well getting rid of social media however so tempting it is but it can cause so much pain when you are trying to heal, keep being strong, it's hard , well done

I felt quite down earlier as he's going away to a concert on Friday night, originally planned for him n her but her has been replaced with a mate. It doesn't feel too awesome that he's still going and staying the night. I feel much more positive 3 hours later. It's quite a rollercoaster isn't it...

Try not to think about it Lippy, it will be hard, it is a rollercoaster. The first few weeks are the hardest, here for you, and all .
Glad you have eaten waving, you will feel your strength building and not so drained, try and drink plenty of water to. Well done for staying off Twitter , please do the meditation it really helps , night all

Good morning back, I had a strange nights sleep and woke in the night and realised that I really am alone now (well, I was anyway, I just thought I wasn't). I also realised that that is okay, everybody is in reality anyway.
Waving, I think sadness is the next phase after anxiety so go with it and you will definitely be happy again one day.
I've been reading my book this morning, the more I read, the more I realise how wrongly I've thought of myself and how much work on my self esteem I need to do.

A few people recently have said I need to watch out as a friend of mine is interested in me as more than friends and I've found myself really irritated by the idea that people think that I'd be interested back and that even if I wasn't I'm now incapable of stopping myself getting into another wrong relationship but then realised that that's been my pattern of my past so no wonder they think that.
Anyway, it takes two people to decide to get in to a wrong relationship with the wrong person for the wrong reasons and I'm not going to be that person anymore.
Oh, what a rant I'm on!
Keep going everyone at the beginning, before you know it, you'll be on a rant about never settling for second best again like me.

Well I cracked! :-( ...4am text, then immediately switched my phone off!! Afraid to switch it back on. So disappointed in myself!

JennyM, take a look at this clip if you have 40 minutes

I also read Mr Unavailable and The Fall Back Girl when I walked away from a man who wanted a relationship but not the accountability and he got around this by telling me we were friends and then ignoring every boundary between friendship and a relationship and I fell for that bullshit until the day I did not! I also read a book called ''attached'' by Dr amir levine and Rachel Heller. It was very useful. Really fucking enlightening.

as it was me and that man. See if it strikes any chords with you as our relationship history sounds depressingly similar and I wouldn't wish that on anybody Hopinng the future will be better post revelations.

waving sorry for cropping up on this thread too! I'd posted on it a month ago I think.

I love your posts Jenny and everyone else's, feels so reassuring we are not alone, thank you .
Waving you are improving day by day, let the wave come over you and just float away, the meditation, will continue to work even if you do not notice it,
lets all keep going, have a rant, have our blips, but we are stronger everyday and we can do this , have a good day everyone

Well done waving for resisting, you are doing so well. Distracting is quite exhausting, but eventually we will all find more rewarding things to occupy our minds... mine today is planning a camping trip...but not sure if the weather is going to hold out !!!

Am sitting having a cry, looking at a photo of us while a sad song is on.. Oh dear! This will pass but I want to hide away!