30 day no contact for the broken hearted - starts here

[Thewizardo]

I will be using this as my own personal no contact diary.

read here first

Please feel free to join in the thread if you are attempting to go no contact with someone. If you've just been dumped, left or had your heart broken.

I'm on day 1 today. So far today I've blocked his FB/what's app/Instagram etc. I text him to ask him to leave me alone as he's texting quite a bit. Only emergency texts only about DD.

Hi, May I join?
Day 5 and its so hard. My head goes over and over the questions I want answered. Wish I could find the off switch. How could someone who said he couldn't live without me just a few weeks ago become such a different person?
The killer is he has a daughter who is 20 and I became so close to her. I miss her almost as much as him but know I can't go down that road either.
God I'm a mess :(

Welcome Thinky, take it a day at a time, it is early days for you, here for you , it is very hard when dsc are involved , stay strong

Waving, try and stay away from social media of any kind, it will set you back and drive you insane, come on here and rant, but stay clear, the urge will continue for you because you will want to contact him even more, I have been there so I know exactly how you are feeling

I've blocked him on Facebook, and deleted his messages on Viber so I'm not tempted to check when he has been online. It is just driving me bonkers that I don't have the answers. Hopefully that will go in time

May I join too?
Just broke up, oh about, 50 mins ago... Kinda mutual, I guess.
Last time I got dumped I developed depression and this time I don't have my friends around me and NC was hard enough then. He's been the only person I've hung out with for such a long time.
But at least I don't work with him anymore.

JennyMe.. I can imagine that will happen with me but the bloke in question looks fun and I'll just chat, have nothing to lose and may gain a friend. I'm hoping it may boost my confidence, get me out of comfort zone ( of hiding away).. I have to accept its over.

Apple, I think you're right, you never know when you'll meet a friend.
Older, yes, join and get stronger. I don't really have RL friends who understand.
I just realised that although it's been sad that he hasn't been able to join in celebrating the good things in my life that have happened recently, that in itself has been a good thing as he already isn't in this chapter of my life.

Ok. So.. I've messaged him and told him kindly I've taken off the relationship status on Facebook. Little does he know I know he is talking to someone else at the same time. I love him but for whatever reason it wasn't meant to be. I've asked we can be friends. We living 3.5 hours away from each other so practically no contact easy! I miss him, I love him. But, I have to love myself more.
I'm so not ready, but I'm going on a date. I may meet a friend, it may move me on. Who knows. I love him though.

Waving- I'm here with you. Woken up with a hangover and incredibly sad and teary. Think acceptance kicking in but also that stage where you accept but feel you absolutely love them and see it through rose tinted glasses- however if you look at it logically it wasn't that great, he's not up there on that pedestal if you see what I mean.
I'm sure you'll want to see him today? Know I would but you are 1 week down the line, there is someone else.. Be respectful of yourself. I know it's incredibly hard

Oh waving.. Yes, the shocked phase comes and goes. I think the denial is our minds way of protecting us a bit? Yes I had that intense anxiety too, but it is easing, if I get to a few hours of some calm it is a blessing. Very cruel of him to not offer any explanation but in some ways also a blessing it's not dragged out?
I was with my ex only a year, a long distance relationship but had miscarriage in March and I'm finding that hard now.. That now he an go. I thought of pregnancy as a lost baby, he saw it as lost cells.
As it was long distance to start in some ways it's hard as I didn't see him much anyway so doesn't feel real he's gone. On the other hand there is no worry of bumping into him.. I miss him. I miss his intelligence and felt he understood me. Although he was emotionally unavailable and I was a prompt to him ending his marriage

Waving- a very confusing time for you. Your brain is trying to make sense of it.
Hate these blokes who keep their options open. Very good you have found out. Although I don't have the evidence you have, my ex has blocked me on whatsapp, which he previously didn't use. He doesn't know I can see on my sons phone that he is on there until 3 am chatting to someone (he has forgot to block my son) so I suspect.
The anxiety is so hard! I have it to but trying to distract myself and keep busy..

He sounds confused too and will probably end up with neither of you. You deserve better

I think you ladies on here are all really inspiring, just for the fact that you're surviving this experience and trying to deal with it and not just burying your head in the sand of life (like they do) and jumping in to the next situation without a thought. I think many men just don't know how to deal with themselves or situations (I've got a few fairly messed up middle aged male friends - definitely never becoming more than friends!!).
Today, I decided that I made it through the 30 days that I didn't know how I would manage and the next 30 days is really going to be about me (and not about him). I've found reading the Mr Unavailable book really helpful as I've totally been the Fall Back Girl / Miss Unavailable (for the last 23 years - in 2 marriages and 3 other significant relationships). I'm really going to look at why I was that person and who I want to be for the rest of my life.
I might even give myself the new title of Miss Awesome in the future (and I really need some of you on here to join me!!!!!!!)
Hang in there Waving and Apple, you both sound like you deserve a million (no billion) times better (I know I did) and I really want you to have that.

Whilst waiting for the quote of the day, I decided to give you my own quote.
Some people bury their head in the sand, some people build a Sand Castle. What's your Castle going to be?

This thread is really helping me.. Thank you.
I'm very surprised at myself for having the courage to remove relationship status from Facebook first. Very proud. Also terrified! But I did it! That's an achievement and move forward yes?
I found an excellent video on YouTube yesterday - listened to it whilst cleaning (and crying!) which explained why we feel as we do. I'll try to find it and post on here.
JennyMe your consistency will get you through, you're doing all the right things and have given me strength.
Waving- chances are it won't work with them. Or for long. If you're looking at Twitter use it as knowledge/ power and look at it in a critical sense if you can. You'll get through it.
I'm off on holiday this weekend with my son. I've also signed up for a 6 week course..

Yes, I am putting all my energy into me, my home, my children and my friends.

You guys are very inspirational - these men must all be crazy letting such good women go.

Jenny - I like the sandcastle quote. Do like me a good quote :)

That's what I'm doing. House, gym, holiday..
Day 1 here too waving. Again. I had the decency to let him know I took status off Fb.
No more now

Morning all you inspirations!

Jenny I feel too old to be Miss Awesome but I am happy to be Ms Awesome in my Castle of Me. (Or if I'm in a castle maybe I'm Queen Awesome).

I am fighting with the weight that fell off me when I found out unpleasant things in an unpleasant way - that level of not eating and not sleeping is no springboard for a healthy life - but the weight has missed me and keeps trying to come back (it has no self respect, ha). But in my castle I have some nice new (inexpensive by necessity) clothes and I am going to stay in them, and make the most of myself every day.

You are all doing so well, keep strong, and if you're not strong, have some positive vibes from the rest of us.