30 day no contact for the broken hearted - starts here

[Thewizardo]

I will be using this as my own personal no contact diary.

read here first

Please feel free to join in the thread if you are attempting to go no contact with someone. If you've just been dumped, left or had your heart broken.

I'm on day 1 today. So far today I've blocked his FB/what's app/Instagram etc. I text him to ask him to leave me alone as he's texting quite a bit. Only emergency texts only about DD.

Searching for inspiration... Thought I would share this.

So true Polka, I hate Mondays , feeling yuk today, needed this, Thank you x

Great quota Polka! Saving that one.
It's not about pride Waving....I did exactly that last Wednesday, texts and voicemails asking how could he sit there ignoring me when I'm so heartbroken because of his actions. He still hasn't replied and it's nearly a week on. I feel stupid for doing it now but I'm actually in an angry place now so I'm glad he had those messages. I know in time I will heal but for now, whether it's pointless or not, I want him to know he's caused pain.
You will be fine, we all will. But as I keep getting told, don't punish yourself further by berating your feelings and actions, you are upset and hurt. Sending hugs xx

Waving and Sucha

I did that too yesterday - reminding him how good we were together, how much I loved him.

I don't know where my self respect went and how I am so needy that I am begging a lying cheat to come back to me.

We need to turn all the energy into ourselves - understanding ourselves, healing and rebuilding self belief so we never think we deserve so little again.

I still love him. And miss him. I can't wait for the anger. But he does not get an ego boost any more by me reminding him how much I care.

Half way through Day 1. Going to put £1 in a tin each day I do then treat myself at 30 days

Waving, I am 4 weeks down the line.

He had been carrying an online relationship with someone culminating in him meeting her and having a full blown affair.

Been a messy 4 weeks, he persuaded me to consider trying again, then when I said yes, backed off again, then reeled me in again. Slept with him on Saturday. Stupidly thought we would be OK. But no....he's confused.

So I am done.

I really feel for you, knowing more doesn't help, they spin it to make themselves look alright and torn by their feelings.

You deserve more than this. We all do.

We can be no contact buddies as we're both on the same day!

I liked the inspirational quote too.

I too had previously sent some emotional emails but we got to a point where it couldn't carry on. I still have his phone number and email but I don't feel tempted to contact him as I strongly suspect that I either wouldn't get a reply or would have a reply that upsets me and make me feel a million times worse.

I know because of what happened that he won't contact me so I've turned off my email alerts and realised in the last few days that I don't even bother to check my emails now.
It definitely gets better but I too am having a day where the world seems very scary (I think because I've booked a holiday).
I saw something on Youtube about no contact being a marathon so I'm going to watch that now.
I hope you're all okay this evening.

Just checking in....tempted to message just to ask how he can't be missing me.

I shan't though.

Jenny - booking a holiday is really brave. Well done. I like your posts as you're so much further down the line.

Keep going everyone x

Do not be scared, I am camping all alone with my DD, I love it, love walking, fresh air, we all deserve to be free from all this heartache, it will come to us all, and the world is our oyster again ( excuse the pun !)

Thanks for all your encouragement. I'm feeling much better knowing all of you are doing it alone too. I think I'll feel really lifted after.
I made it to day 30, I can't believe I got this far.
I felt completely addicted to my toxic situation before. Previously, I couldn't sleep if I hadn't had a message from him, I panicked if he hadn't contacted me for a few hours. I had 4 nights of absolutely no sleep, when I've found out his lies I've had to leave work with stress and I've even been so upset I've emailed the Samaritans!
I think I had to hit rock bottom to come up and up I've come.
I think it takes a lot longer of nc to really feel different but as this is likely to be forever for me, I think now I really need to start making myself focus on a positive future.

Good morning everyone.

Huge congratulations JennyMe, you have done so well and I can hear in your writing it's still hard for you but you are looking forward and feeling better. Such a great feeling and you are really going to be so much happier and healthier for it.

I agree, I think it takes longer than 30 days but it's a huge step and nothing will feel as bad as those 30 days.

Waving, he may have called just to play mind games, don't read too much in to it. The best thing you can do now is completely ignore it and say no more..if he really is being genuine and wants to talk he will pick up the phone and call again.

Polka...how are you doing today? Did you manage to stay away from messaging your ex? Hope all OK?

I went out to friends last night for dinner and was so thankful getting home I have a good support around me. My poor mum had me in tears yesterday morning as I was really struggling but it's thanks to the support I havent messaged and am starting to get back in the real world.

Day 6 here, feeling numb today but OK. Have a good, positive and progressive day everyone. Xx

Morning, glad to read the updates that everyone is still feeling strong.

Just a quick check in -I did it. Day 1 done.

Have a good day lovelies, keep strong x

Good morning all. I'm on hols with my dd at the moment. Last holiday I had was with ex was over Xmas when he had three abusive tantrums in 3 days, all over nowt. It was soul destroying.
I was lying here in bed last night chilling after daughter had gone to sleep ,and just thought thank God he wasn't here. No drama, no grief, no mind games,no wondering when the next meltdown was going to be. I put up with all of that crap for four years, hoping things would get better, trying to convince myself this man loved me. It took me 4 years before the penny dropped.If someone loves you they don't treat you like crap.Simple as that.
Good luck people. Keep on keeping on. You deserve better x

Have a great Holiday Resilliance, it took me far to long, you are free....we all are but just do not know it yet xx enjoy :O)

Quote for today guys

Keep distracted, don't let them realise how much you care.

Missing him.. 5 weeks since I last saw him and only messaged once (last Wednesday) since.. Relaxing today and feeling a bit low.have also been asked out on a date but not sure that's a good idea! But having interest has helped me move forward. It's hard..

The quotes are brilliant Polka.
6 weeks since I saw him but also 6 weeks of no drama, no stomach churning when I found out yet another thing he thought it better not to tell me and surprisingly 6 weeks of much better sleep.
Keep strong everyone. You're all keeping me going too.

Apple, I've been out with male friends in the last few weeks and wondered what a proper date would be like (I'm not doing that for a long time). Being with other men at the moment makes me miss him more.
I think so many men just bury their heads in the sand over problems. I think the sand eventually suffocates them anyway.