30 day no contact for the broken hearted - starts here

[Thewizardo]

I will be using this as my own personal no contact diary.

read here first

Please feel free to join in the thread if you are attempting to go no contact with someone. If you've just been dumped, left or had your heart broken.

I'm on day 1 today. So far today I've blocked his FB/what's app/Instagram etc. I text him to ask him to leave me alone as he's texting quite a bit. Only emergency texts only about DD.

Oh Apple it's impossible trying to second guess. If you are like me the hardest thing is to accept that there is no reason for something, at least not one that can be understood, and then to let it go.

Thanks hitm. I'm a fool. I'll get over it but what a b£&!?,d we were planning a family earlier this year. 😞 Not only have I lost my bf but my previous good friend due to her messaging him.

Day 21ish - it's getting easier!

Day 1 just completed! I'm new here hi everyone... I read the whole tread from last night and I really got some amazing advice from you ladies...I think this will really help me. Thank you all and best of luck being strong 😊

Hi Jelly , welcome , stay strong to

Can I join? Mine has blocked me, which makes the no contact thing easier . I can't eat, feel like shit but I'm determined it's done this time. Apparently it's all my fault as I go crazy when he can't be arsed to send at least one text a day, and I never loved him because I don't trust him. Despite him opening an app on his phone and pof popping up, this is a year in after saying he deleted his profile .

This is all perfectly acceptable as he was only looking , that's fine isn't it after declaring ever lasting love and having cosy days out with my kids. But it's all my fault of course, and he's not going to argue with me anymore. This is after blatantly lying to me and trying to convince me I don't know how the fucking internet works. But because he is almost deffo on the spectrum I have to put up with his shit unconditionally and me expecting even a cursory text every now and again is unreasonable apparently, because he is working, and sleeping. Seemingly those activities take up every single second of the time we are apart.

Oops seem to have ranted. I love him so much, the little knob wormed his way into my heart, but I'm going to block the fuck back when I can and rip the plaster off

Hello Jelly and Missy. You can do it!
Missy, he doesn't sound worth it but it sounds like you know how you want to be treated, I agree.
Day 28 and I'm out for a walk with a friend shortly. This morning I realised that I woke up thinking about things I'm doing at the moment and my first thought wasn't him! !!!
I had a good evening yesterday with some male friends who I realised although aren't more than friends at least don't treat women how he treated me. There is hope.
I decided I really want to move on and have a really happy life now and if I use time in the future being miserable thinking about him I might as well go back to wasting my time being miserable still seeing him.
I bought myself some new sparkly shoes yesterday as a reward for getting this far because they deserved being with me and he didn't (I know that's silly).

Hi missy, I could have written your post 6 months ago. Spotted my then partner on a dating site. Was in total shock.Before I confronted him about it I asked him if he thought registering on a dating site would be considered cheating, his response to me was yes, because the intent was there... When I then told him I'd found him on this site his reaction was anger at me for "snooping", then denial that he has set the profile up, saying it must have pulled thro from his old POF profile,nope as it had recent photos on it (some pics I'd taken, cheeky bastard!), then the final bollocks excuse was it had done it when he was angry but had no intention of meeting anyone, yeah right...
Anyway 6 months down the line and I am so much happier and less stressed, not having to deal with that headfuckery on a daily basis. Yes it hurts in the early days but you can get through it, and better things are round the corner x
Sparkly shoes, fabulous.
Keep on people x

Hi everyone, gosh Missy that sounds like a terrible lot of trouble he's put you through, you poor thing. I'm too in the can't eat and feel like shit stage, I'm trying to manage a smoothie every day to keep me going and I'm taking sleeping tablets at night. I also feel terrible because I'm a single parent to my 3 year old son and I've been nothing short of useless for the last few days. McDonald's for dinner, letting him watch hours of tv... It's making me feel worse because I can't even do enough for him right now.

I still can't believe we are broken up it seems over such trivial issues, he let me down when I had my (very limited) child free time after we'd plans for ages, also he didn't want to spend any extra time with me and child, incase he got too attached and we broke up 😕 We were together two years and he'd tried to talk me into having a child with him many times?! Total hot and cold... But I genuinely thought he loved the bones of me, I can't believe he hasn't contacted me and has been so cold. I've never had my heart broken before and I just truely don't know how I can go on. I'm constantly looking at my phone for a message but I don't even know if it is salvageable anymore after all this.

I haven't really told anybody yet because then that makes it real. I just want to stay in my bed and be alone for the foreseeable future. Sorry for such the down post. This is just so raw, on day 3 of being broken up.

Missy, Xh he is all over pof, when we escaped (Dv) no less than 8 he has had in the house which is on the market as I have divorced him . The hardest thing was seeing these poor women come into the house and see poor little old him ( he obviously told them all I left him for some other reason!!!) some had children , which scared the hell out of me because he destroyed his family with violence , abuse and deceit. I worry for everyone of these ow because not out of jealousy or because I want him back, because he is such a convincing liar and will cheat again and again ... You will be better off not knowing , and over time you will forget his lies and hurt, free your mind from him . this thread has saved me, so come on in and let's be liberated from all the crap . Day 14 .... And it is freedom 🙂

I'm really struggling today 😔

Ended up sleeping with him. Waking up with him is the first time I've felt happy for weeks. I am so confused.

And now sent him an emotional text. He hasn't replied. Here we go again.

Day 1 begins again.

Hugs Apple...I am struggling today as well. I think its because its that Sunday lull and a peaceful day that gives us too much thinking space.

Polka, I've been where you are recently and even said to him he only got back in touch to see if he could get me back in to bed and sadly I was right. Sadly they tune out of emotional text. As its been said on here, if they really cared they would make an effort. No matter how hard it is to say no, jumping back in to bed is like a quick fix drug, great at that moment but the come down is far far worse. But please don't beat yourself up, just focus on getting back on track.

I had a girly night out last night and realised I am in a serious man hating stage now so need time out and being on my own for a while just to heal.
I am on day 4 and so far I am finding it so hard but am so determined. I know he will be home from work now and hasn't text to say sorry or just check I am ok, speaks volumes, he just doesn't care. I am so upset but managing to not text him that even though I really want to.

Keep going everyone, we can do so much better.
I found a great quote on Instagram earlier which said "Don't cling to a mistake just because you spent a lot of time making it". On a personal note for me that's so poignant. I made a huge mistake forgiving and letting me ex back in to my life but I cant cling to him thinking too much time and effort has gone in to making it work, it never will.
Onwards and Upwards ladies! xx

I'm 7 months on from finding out my DH of almost 2 decades had cheated. He's such an arrogant, stupid twat.

Our DCs act like he's a child rather than an adult, but that doesn't bother him as he'd rather be a spoilt child forever.

One positive is that the OW gets the booby prize as he'll control her and make her life shit.

Wishing everyone in similar situation well!

booby prize... love it, we will all get there, they all find out grass is not always greener... so I have been told !!

I don't think anyone on here should be hard on themselves. I think you're all great for being on here and for us all to be trying to make our lives better as if being with them was okay we wouldn't now be nc.
It will be 4 weeks tomorrow since any contact. I'm still sad but realised this morning I saw somethings in the cupboard that he gave me and I didn't even notice at first.
We've definitely all got better to come. I think some men are just bonkers, they only think of themselves, take advantage of women (until they say no more) and are emotionally stunted until they can't cope with their emotions and get depressed, start drinking etc.

The guy I was seeing said I should watch out for not being taken advantage because of my good nature by some people I work with, the irony of it was that he took advantage of me when I was at a really vulnerable phase in my life and lied and used me. I think I'm going to have to work on forgiving myself for getting involved with him and not realising what he was really about and not getting out sooner.
I've just booked a holiday for myself and ds this evening. I was really scared doing it as my ex-dh had previously told me he'd be surprised if I could ever book a holiday alone (I was deemed incompetent) so that's what I believed I was but I've got it done. So many changes in life recently so I'm feeling quite unsettled.

You are so right Jenny, strange coisidence you said he took advantage of you after saying that... It seems to be a line I have heard quite a few times recently...these men are dysfunctional at best, use scripts.
Well done for booking a holiday, I am hoping for a break to , you are not incompetent...just another line , it's what's they really should be saying to themselves , but they do not have the courage to face up to what they are... They do eventually ...when it's to,late

Good morning ladies. Well here goes day 5 and I can honestly say I want the hurt and upset over with, it's exhausting feeling this way.

I ended up in bed at 8.30 last night just so I could try and sleep it off and shut down my brain for a while. I messaged my close friend saying I wanted to send my ex a text and she kicked my ass then I got cross with her for kicking my ass so woke this morning with added guilt as I know she's right and being a good friend.

If I'm being honest with myself I just truly thought he would have messaged me over the weekend because we were supposed to have been together and I'd hoped he was missing me. Im a prat as he's done this too many times and won't be missing me at all, in fact quite the opposite, he would have been out with friends and screwing the first girl to show him attention.

Yet here I am, day 5, in agony because he can't just message to see if I'm OK. What the fuck is wrong with me????!!!

Because I took time off work this week because of his supposedly great plans for us to spend time together I am now left with way too much time on my hands. I have manged to get some work for today but the rest of the week is quiet and I have nothing left in the bank to even go and spoil myself with.

Sorry ladies. Negative start to the day I know. But hey, on a positive, I still have stayed away and done 5 days of nc.

Well done Sucha on day 5.
Don't think he's having a great time, many men fake it on the outside but are in pain inside.
Day 29 here. I'll never have contact with him again now but I'll have a much better life for it.
You've had a lucky escape Sucha.
Nothing is wrong with you. It's them. Love yourself and love will flow to you.

Thank you JennyMe. I honestly don't think he has a soul to be able to feel pain. Hes a master manipulator and gets a kick out of it so probably searching his next prey!
Just spoken to my mum and she's kicked my ass as well. It's hard explaining to people why I'm still so upset and can't switch off. My mum knows what he's done to me yet can't understand why i can't move on. She's so right in what she's saying but I can't stop loving someone even when hes been so awful.

Massively well done JennyMe on day 29 and to hear you say you will never have contact again is just great. You deserve to be with someone who loves and cares about you.

Thank you for your kind words :). Xx

Well done to everyone. It is so helpful to read and see what people are like at different stages of this journey.

I drank too much last night so feel crap today. But...I think I've hit the bottom and am moving up.

My kids deserve their mum back. I deserve to be happy. It has been 4 weeks of upset. Enough.

So, I am going to do some serious work today on rebuilding my life.

We can all do this. Thank you for all the updates.

Morning all, I'm very teary but I guess I will get there. I don't want to let go but I can't wait around for him. I need to feel good enough for someone and them want me..
Out for lunch today.. Anyone get feelings of the world feeling scary?
Well done all. Keep on keeping on.

Wavingnotdrowning. What an awful way to split, that's damn right cruel. How long were you together?
The early days are tough, it gets easier though but for me anyway it's very up and down and it's hard to believe it's a reality.
Lots of us are going through the same and just having this thread to check in and out of is helpful. Try to treat yourself and do nice things for yourself if you can, however small.