30 day no contact for the broken hearted - starts here

[Thewizardo]

I will be using this as my own personal no contact diary.

read here first

Please feel free to join in the thread if you are attempting to go no contact with someone. If you've just been dumped, left or had your heart broken.

I'm on day 1 today. So far today I've blocked his FB/what's app/Instagram etc. I text him to ask him to leave me alone as he's texting quite a bit. Only emergency texts only about DD.

I have just self sabotaged .... Looked in Facebook . Feeling like shit ......... Why do I do this ..... 30+ days ......He certainly in my head after the email the other day ......... Should have shut my hand in the door ........ Feeling deflated now as if I have cheated myself and friends and you guys ...... Been so strong, making progress and nearly coming to terms with what happened ...... Soooo annoyed with myself .........

Mind you he doesn't know I want in there ...... So I am in control ....... Yes as I ignored email ........ All is not last ....... Pleasant dreams ladies

3 weeks today so feeling weird.
Donor, I think you're still on the wagon, just hit a bump. I think there's hope for us all. Woke up early to the the NC book. It really makes sense about why I feel rejected and I think it makes the process easier as it emphasises it's really for yourself and a better future. It's all about us being happier. Hope you all have a good day.

Hareinthemoon, I think (not quite sure) that I make myself go back and think about him and test if I'm still really upset because it's my way of hanging on to him and I'm a bit scared of when I start to not feel upset when I think about him that I'm moving on and letting him go from my life which I will feel sad about (even though I was in so much pain over him when I was involved). Very analytical this morning!

I'm feeling really fed up this morning and tired, agitated and angry. Hate feeling this way. I'm still friends with him on fb although no contact now for 2 weeks. But saw him check in different places and I feel jealous. How do I get past this? I'm seeing hi as the bees knees and forgetting the pain and rejection.
Strength to you all..

Apple, I know this maybe not what you want to here, unfriend, and delete facebook...at least until you are feeling better, what you cannot see will not bother you etc, you will get past this over time, I know exactly how you are feeling, my xh's first ow ( one of many) posted on her facebook page how she felt sorry for me and pitied me.... she contacted me and he had told her I had left the house for another man... she got a shock when she found out I left due to DV .
He had promised her our home and he was rich.... she was the catalyst for our divorce, ( she didnt realise he has someone else to, and more besides) I found this very hard to stomach .
So trust me, get off facebook because it really does not help the healing process and if you can just have minimal contact or none at all, you will start to feel much better.

Help, need words of support!

Been 2 days now....I so want to ring him. I just wondered if he's missing me. Not that it will change anything.

But I am so hurt he hasn't contacted me :(

Think of things that he did to annoy you ....... Does it matter if he thinks about you ??? Or do you want to go back to how it was ?? Be strong

He lied and cheated in such a calculated way. I don't want him back. But I want him to be heartbroken and missing me. That sounds awful.

I am just so fucking sad. Sorry for ranting. I don't want to go on in real life and I was so close to ringing 5 minutes ago.

Polka you won't feel like this for the rest of your life ..... We have been there ..... We are he to hold your hand and we will get through the fog together ...... He is a DOUCHE bag X

Thank you! I love this thread. It is amazing for when you feel a bit weak.

This will pass.

I just hate feeling so inadequate - he was enough for me and it really hurts that I wasn't enough for him.

It will pass.

Polka, trust me it will make you feel worse, Dont do it, we are all in the same boat, you are stronger and have more respect and dignity for yourself, he is not worth it, early days for you, we have all been there

You are not inadequate, the hurt is you being human, cheats are wired up differently he will gloat, you will get over the urgency to contact in time x

Think of us on here when you want to do anything that will make you feel worse. I feel my late afternoon.
I was told four significant lies which I'm going to remember and then think to a future with someone who doesn't lie which is a total possibility.

Polka, feeling inadequate is part of the fall out from being cheated on, ringing him will not help change that it will make you feel worse. I say this as someone who fails daily to avoid him. Well done for being strong enough to get to this point, it's not easy and shows how strong you are.

I have had a good day today fellow NC'ers, I walked into work with the weight of the world on my shoulders dreading seeing him and having him see how badly he has hurt me. He wasn't there and that made my day better, it still hurts but it's much easier when I don't see him, I'm hoping he's booked the week off because I could do with a good break from him.

Polka you won't feel like this for the rest of your life ..... We have been there ..... We are he to hold your hand and we will get through the fog together ...... He is a DOUCHE bag X

Sorry posted twice ........
Flurple ...... You go girl well done onto today ..... Not seeing that DIUCHE bag ...... Let's hope he has booked a permanent holiday ...... I hope he has

Flurple ..... When your travelling to work .... Try and leave the flurple that is hurt and upset at the door before entering work ..... Almost have an alter ego ..... So you will be protecting yourself ...... I was once bullied at work by someone not a nice business . When I pulled up at work I would leave the doner in the car ...... Block out the bully and be totally professional ..... It worked for me so I wouldn't feel so paranoid ..... Hope this works for you just an idea ...... Keep going my love " better is coming for all of us "

I will try that Doner I hadn't thought of doing that tomorrow I will do that

well done Flurple for having a good day , day at a time

Well done Flurple - working with him must be difficult, good advice from Doner.

I am reading so much online to try and help me - anything others have found that is useful?

I've found reading a lot has helped me understand what I'm going through.
This is a small thing but I've changed all my passwords at work to inspirational words so when I arrive and haven't had a morning message from him anymore I give myself a happy thought instead.

I like that idea Jenny I think I'm going to do that myself

Day 3 almost done and dusted. Going to have an early night and just try to shut my brain down for a while.

How do I feel... Honestly, like shit. Bewildered and very, very sad about the mess this has become. I am mourning a man who was never mine and who will never be mine, which makes it even worse. I don't even have the right to mourn or miss him, but miss him I do. I can't help it. I cannot confide in anyone in 'real life'. I cannot talk about him and why I am in the sad, haunted state I'm in. He's with his girlfried right now. I try not to think about it, but it is invading my mind and eating me up. How can he profess to love me, yet not want to be with me? Is it only 'entertainment' for him? Am I nothing more than an ego stroke? Why does he feel he can treat me like this? How could he have lied so well and for so long. I meant nothing to him despite what he says. He couldn't do this to me if he loved me.

Thanks for the non-judgemental support of this thread. It's been a lifeline. Thanks for all the PMs I have received over the past couple of weeks. Thanks for the wise words and words of encouragement from you all and for eachother. Thank you.

Today I'm ok. Tomorrow I'll be ok. We'll all be ok.

That is the scary thing....how convincing the lies are. I feel so stupid for believing everything. But loving and trusting....thats how life should be.

We mustn't let it ruin us, or break us or make us cynical.

We just got unlucky. Something wrong in them saw the good in us which made it easy for them.

This is what i am telling myself.

I love him and miss him and this is fucking hard.