30 day no contact for the broken hearted - starts here

[Thewizardo]

I will be using this as my own personal no contact diary.

read here first

Please feel free to join in the thread if you are attempting to go no contact with someone. If you've just been dumped, left or had your heart broken.

I'm on day 1 today. So far today I've blocked his FB/what's app/Instagram etc. I text him to ask him to leave me alone as he's texting quite a bit. Only emergency texts only about DD.

I think we're all making progress and getting wiser. We definitely need the space to gain understanding.
I've just found out some hugely exciting news (not sure I can mention on here) that most guys would be really pleased to know but I'm heartbroken to not be able to tell him.

2 weeks (ish!) still having the odd wobble but the tears have stopped

Congrats Jenny x it is good sign when the tears stop Little, you are doing so well

Back to Day 1 for me. He texted, I replied, few texts over and back. Says he loves me, can't get over me blah, blah, blah. Talk is oh so fucking cheap though and there's no sign of action. Here we go again sigh. I'm my own worst enemy. Sorry for lack of personals x

Nofool, don't feel bad, just reset and keep going. I've got this far because I said before NC that I wouldn't reconsider unless there was a drastic change of situation which there won't be so I'm probably in an easier situation.
I was very close to telling him my news but then realised that if he wanted to know he would have done something proactive to stay in my life.

Wizardo, are you still out there? Hope you are ok .
Keep going everyone else, let's stomp through this weekend with our heads held high x

There's a minor chance I'll see him tomorrow at a mutual thing we go to that I'm not willing to give up. If it had been a bad relationship I would. So cross your fingers I don't embarrass myself if I do come across him!

Keep your chin up ladies. Day one, flip month one, is hellish. But as the days go on it hurts less and that weird compulsion to tell him the local tesco has started to stock his favourite beer is less strong.

No fool, we have all done it, do not be to hard on yourself, you are right talk is cheap. I found myself on las contact email, not discussing feelings at all, just legal stuff... apparently the leaves get bored and leave you alone.
my x put...' you hate me and the kids hate me' looking for a reaction I didnt bite and it really helped, because afterwards I felt stronger.
Have a good sunday everyone ( usually my worst day)

leavers oops for typo

I've hated Sundays for years, even before all the ex eejit drama. But... I got my DD to make a little sign that says I love Sundays, and I've got it stuck by my bed. Sounds daft, but it actually works! Also the two of us have started the affirmation "I love the world and the world loves me", 5 times every morning, we shout it, do mad arm movements, even a few dance moves , try it, it works for us!
Onwards, peeps, onwards x

Yes, happy Sundays and the thought of the affirmations and actions made me smile Resilience. I've been out walking with the butterflies and felt no need to walk with anyone else today. Having the space definitely gives you clarity and I really understand now that the stages and emotions you go through do swing back and forth. I feel okay today and that's good enough.

Jenny ..... Well done to you the emotional pendulum ... certainly does swing from side to side ...... I did not respond to his email shared with friend ..... We still in agreement that he still is a DOUCHEBAG and still has nothing to offer me .... Apart from lies , deceit and of course other women ...... I am a bitch ......
Ladies you certainly are helping me as we are all struggling on and coming to terms with what has happened ..... Resilience I still smile re fingers in the door ...... Think to day having a bad day ....... Tomarrow back at work so will be busy ....... Live to you all ladies X

Resilience ...... I have told a few people at work what has happened and I asked them to write in post it ..... Affirmations for instance " better is coming " " he is a xxxx you will get through this " as well as other hits . I have then on my phones case folded up ( weekends were my worst ) so when u had a real terrible moments I would pick one out ..... Really really helped me ..... Some are funny and make me smile ..... So for all that are having a bad day " Bette r is coming "

Can we post a photo if ourselves in here ??? I would love to see what you look like .......... Feel like we are a community making each other stronger ..... So lovely , sometimes it's hard to talk to friends as I feel I don't want them to think your like a stuck record ( if you know what I mean ?

I just had a wonderful moment of optimism that I want to share with you all. I realised I will be loved again and I will love again. It lasted a moment but it made my heart soar, my main fear is that I will never find love again so it was good to feel that in that moment I need to hold onto that when the fear and loneliness comes back.
doner I persobally wouldn't feel comfortable doing that, but it's a lovely idea, I think you're right we are a little community helping each other through.

FURPLE ... You are right was just a thought ...... We will all be loved and will love again ...... We just need to mend .... We will , after the process we will be wiser , stinger women and will not feel like this again ...... Keep going ..... We are the Captains of our Ships

Doner-What a great idea the post its are, brilliant!
Flurple-Optimism...fabulous!
Free from-feeling stronger, yay!
Go Jenny!
I got a text off someone (not ex) this morning telling me I am a gorgeous woman! Go me! I am in so much of a better place than I was 6 months ago.
And a huge part of that is thanks to all the wonderful support and advice I have had on MN.We are a great little community.Thank you all x
Keep on people! (No pics tho,soz, I'm currently undercover with MI5..)
Ha x

Thats lovely Flurple, I have had a moment like that this week to, we will be loved again , I love to soar, great feeling

Back to crying....

little it's so hard isn't it but the lows have to stop coming, for now I think it's about riding the lows out and hoping that the highs will last longer each time. How long has it been for you?

A bad day for me as well. Having to have contact over the DCs and things to do with separation - I think the thing that upsets me is that he is soooo much further along than I am and hearing that - how he is with me - just underlines how long ago he left the relationship emotionally but kept lying so that I am so far behind and struggling to catch up. I don't want him back but it's now habit to feel the rejection and struggle to understand. Without contact I don't even care, I'm fine with never understanding, with being on my own and even with the thought that I will never be loved again. I'm massively pissed that I will never love anyone like that again because I just won't be able to trust them, but then if I'm not going to have another relationship that's a moot point.

I wish it would all be over now and I'd never have to see him again. So progress, of a sort.

I think you're right that a feeling becomes a habit. I feel fairly rejected as well and I think that when I don't have anything else to do, thinking about him has become a habit.

Today, I've felt quite neutral and I realised that I almost make myself think of him and some of the things he's done, almost like a test on myself to see how I feel. That probably sounds a bit strange. I don't have that horrible stomach churning sinking feeling anymore though and I used to have a stressed feeling around my eyes (I know that's weird) when the jealous / panic feelings (about the reality of the situation) came up. I'm sleeping much better too so small positives. I think we could all love and be loved again if we want that, although I think not wanting that is quite alright too.

Just under a month now. No DC so technically should be straight fwd and painless but it's really not!

Hope this week is better for everyone xx

Ive been dumped today, so starting fresh from the beginning. It hasnt been right for a long time and it became apparent today when i brought up his lack of effort in the relationship. He said for some reason he doesnt have the drive or desire to see me anymore or initiate plans. When i asked if i should leave he said "i dont mind" then made no effort to stop me walking out. I guess that says it all. It was brought to a head when i intiated intimacy earlier today and he said he pushed me away saying he had jobs to do instead. Sanding down his old coffee table being one

Jenny I really relate to that thing of testing yourself by thinking about them.

I would love to think I could love and be loved again, but even logically I can't see it happening. Although Flurple I did have a tiny spark with a man in a lift the other day. Milliseconds, and not romantic, but just not...dead inside. So maybe I will try not to give up.

Resilience and Doner I've surrounded myself with little signs! Little it is so hard to see them and you feel like you are going backwards. Horrible.

Here's hoping for an improved week for everyone.