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Original poster

30 day no contact for the broken hearted - starts here

1000 replies

Thewizardo · 24/06/2016 14:14

I will be using this as my own personal no contact diary.

read here first

Please feel free to join in the thread if you are attempting to go no contact with someone. If you've just been dumped, left or had your heart broken.

I'm on day 1 today. So far today I've blocked his FB/what's app/Instagram etc. I text him to ask him to leave me alone as he's texting quite a bit. Only emergency texts only about DD.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
FreeFromHarm · 10/07/2016 21:37

ktaboom, so sorry ,they never change, liars cheats and narcissists, we all need to be kind to ourselves and expect some lapses, we can all be strong, you included x

ktkaboom · 10/07/2016 22:02

Thank you freefromharm keeping strong for my kids through the day but the evenings are so hard sitting here wishing he would call and knowing he won't!!!
Trying for a more positive strong NC day tomorrow!!

PurpleThursday · 10/07/2016 22:16

Hi all,

I just wanted to say that I did this with soon to be ExH. It was very beneficial. Blocked him and shit family on everything and it helped a lot. I have one problem. Whatsapp. Even though he is 'blocked' on there I can still see the time he is online. And it almost subconsciously plays shit games with me Angry If I don't go on it at all for a few days it is fine. But then if someone messages me and I have to go on there I can't stop myself looking at when he was online and it totally does my head in .. If he hasn't been on for hours I wonder what he is doing etc, it makes me SO mad. There. Said it. Thanks for listening.

FreeFromHarm · 10/07/2016 22:50

new week who is going nc ???? Me for one, had enough, cannot take much more of this , wish you all a better week

JennyMe · 11/07/2016 06:44

I hope you all have an okay day and however you feel is okay. I'm on day 15. Many ups and downs. Yesterday was good to be with other people. I had my waves of sadness whilst with another couple as I felt so alone BUT at least I didn't have the horrible anxiety of lies and unknowing that went with seeing 'him'. I think sadness and missing is better than chronic anxiety and the constant feeling of knowing he never really wanted me.
I realised this morning, actions definitely speak louder than words.
I'm doing things 4 evenings this week and I think I've got to the stage where I need to throw myself in to other things to move on.
Thinking of you all today.

JennyMe · 11/07/2016 06:47

I don't bother to look at Whatsapp or do anything like that because I know I will feel absolutely terrorised by it and I just can't deal with myself like that. I know it's completely over now. I still wonder if he'll ever contact me again but I know the answer will be no so I absolutely have to move on. I'm half way through my life and can't waste my life on what is now nothingness.

JennyMe · 11/07/2016 07:36

I watched '5 reasons to love being single' by Matthew Hussey on Youtube this morning and it really helped.

Resilience16 · 11/07/2016 07:52

A new week. The universe has wonderful things in store for you all. Keep on keeping on. You can do it x

Applecrumbling · 11/07/2016 08:59

Lovely day out for me yesterday but have a feeling of dread this morning. 1 week ago today had a huge argument with him on the phone and haven't spoken since. He was happy to let me go off in a state and no apology since. We are still friends on fb.. In some ways provides comfort - for now. If I wanted to be with him id have to move 3.5 hours away. But had a miscarriage in March so I'm only at the very beginning of processing it all.
Wishing you all strength today x

FreeFromHarm · 11/07/2016 18:39

Thanks for the tip re Mathew Hussey Jenny, addicted , has made a lot of sense .

Flurple · 11/07/2016 20:02

Day 1 again for me today, it's going a lot better though. I'm feeling positive about this I think this time is the one anyone else feeling stupidly positive? A little bit of me is worried feeling this positive is just going to set me up for a fall. Has anyone else felt like this?

Flurple · 11/07/2016 20:02

apple how was your day?

NoFoolLikeMe · 11/07/2016 20:17

Day10 in the Big Broken House. Double digits, yay! Still having ups and downs and spending far too much time ruminating at various points during the day, but the dull, pulling ache in my stomach has eased a lot. So I'm starting to feel better. Today anyway. I'm fully aware that tomorrow or a week from now could see me back in the doldrums, but I'll face it if and when it comes.

Wizardo, how are you?

FreeFromHarm · 11/07/2016 20:20

yep Flurple, bit disconcerting isn't it , I thinks it is because we have cried so much, there is only one way to go... negative to positive

JennyMe · 11/07/2016 20:24

Congrats to double figures!! I think the ups and downs will take some time to settle. I think the waves will gradually get smaller. I say this as I'm looking out on a double rainbow.
I just had a huge wave of missing him but then wondered, what actually am I missing and I realised it is just missing having someone giving me attention and knowing someone else is thinking of me. Hopefully, one day, I'll find the right someone else.
Flurple, I think go with being positive even if you get negative again as each time you feel really positive is progress.

donerwillbehere · 11/07/2016 23:01

I have just got back from a weekend with friends . I have laughed , cried and been listened to about how sad I am feeling . I feel sad that I have been so mugged off with lies , deceit , other women and me entering in the pick me dance . I don not miss the anxiety , mind games and devaluing myself . I am halfway through my life and will not be treated this way again . Well done ladies I am proud of you all ....... We will get through this and be stronger, wiser women ..... Ladies we can do this ..... These feelings will pass X WineSmileCake

donerwillbehere · 11/07/2016 23:04

Many friends have said how much they disliked him ....... Even he has met someone else ..... Why is it they can move in so quickly ???? When our bed wasn't even cold ...... Need some help on this please ?

Applecrumbling · 12/07/2016 07:34

Morning all.. I'm ok flurple, thanks.. Haven't woken up with dread today, just sadness and now I'm questioning why? He did treat me quite badly at the end. i did feel like I had to try all of the time, as if I was more invested than him, him out of my league and it exhausted me. I worry I'm never going to meet anyone. I'm 40 this year..
Thought of the day..
'Don't be a victim' 😀

Applecrumbling · 12/07/2016 07:37

Doner.. That's awful but is a reflection of him.. I don't think he is moving on- it's just their way of coping and he is actually making the situation worse for himself.
You however are being true to yourself. Your weekend away sounds fab. Keep going x

Original poster
Thewizardo · 12/07/2016 07:44

I'm here Smile

Keeping keeping on! Things are reletively calm, pick up day today though so I have that feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Such a hard day with the kids yesterday and lots of anger towards him that I am solely responsible for all this shit from now on. It's another day, what choice do we have but to keep going?

Jenny thanks for the Hussey recommendation, I love him! Been listening to lots on YouTube

OP posts:
Original poster
Thewizardo · 12/07/2016 07:47

Doner, I don't understand it. It's something I really struggle with to be honest. It seems such a male thing to do. Think someone else said unthread that its because women actually stop and deal with the breakup, the emotions etc and men just hide it all behind another women or drink or whatever else. Especially if they have behaved badly they need to not feel that guilt and another woman liking them kind of prices to themselves that they aren't that bad IYSWIM?

OP posts:
JennyMe · 12/07/2016 07:57

Day 16. So glad you're all here with me.

I watched Matthew Hussey 'Selling yourself short' this morning. I should get paid by him for this! We could all go on a conference of his together.
I'm 42 next month and too worry I'll never meet someone else I really like but I probably will so none of us should give up.
I think men appear to move on but actually don't in their head. I've had every guy I've been out with get back in contact months or years later as they didn't deal with the break up (even when they remarried).
I'm thinking of you all today.

Applecrumbling · 12/07/2016 07:57

Think you hit the nail on the head TheWizardo. Some women do this too and a certain person I know admits this is the reason. Just to mask it all..

Applecrumbling · 12/07/2016 08:01

JennyMe- dAy 16 - wow! Wish I was there. Day 8 for me. But do feel like the 'trauma' feelings are subsiding. Does anyone relate to that?

donerwillbehere · 12/07/2016 08:33

Apple ...... I do at times , but they have subsided , I am day 27 and I have to say I am a lot better then I was .... Look in you tube self help books. I am having counselling and on anti depressants certainly helping please believe it does pass ..... The fog does lift ..... Dig deep we will all get there ..... We will look back in time and THINK why did we waste all that time on DOCHE bags ..... They are really not worth our time ...... Wishing you all a very positive day SmileWink

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