I just hit DP

[Icklepickle101]

I feel awful.

DP had been prodding me and poking me all through dinner, he found it funny, I didn't and after telling him and telling him to stop I hit him in the face. At the dinner table. In front of my parents. Now I've stormed off and am sat feeling sorry for myself and like a horrible horrible person and he's just told me if I ever hit him like it again he will hit me back

What the fuck have I done.

We have never ever ever been violent towards each other and he is honestly an amazing man. I just don't know what to do or how to make things right.

Did you not read the thread oddsocks? The op is already ashamed of herself. What do you hope to add?

Yeah I read it.

Did you?

That's great that she feels ashamed.

Another silly woman falling for some wankers drivel.

Sad.

Thank you OddSocks I think that was the most helpful post on the thread.

Have my first

Hey op how are you feeling? How are things? X

I'm actually feeling quite calm and happy with life. Think it's easy to let all the little things get on top of you and that is what happened and I reacted in a way that shocked me and those I love. A part of me is still sad I reacted the way I did but I'm starting to realise I have been unwell for a long time, and I should have sought help much quicker after DS was born but I'm hoping things will look even brighter very soon and me and DP can soon enjoy being a family in our new home.
Thank you Rebel for caring and not judging

good - keep talking to people and your DH

Ickle glad to hear you're feeling better and much more positive. Don't shoulder all the blame though or dwell on it. Focus on the help you're getting and the future x hopefully the other things like where you live,having a newborn etc will settle soon as well

I'm trying to find the right words and I hope it doesn't dampen your mood.
I'm really glad you are feeling better and positive about the future. But I am still concerned that you seem to still be shouldering all the blame for what happened. I hope the learning curve has been the same for both of you, and that he is indeed respecting your boundaries.

Stop picking at the scab Lweji, the OP and her DH seem to be working things out.

Quite honestly that's why I hesitated to post, but it depends on what is meant by working things out.
And frankly, picking a scab would be to say that the OP should be ashamed of herself and should only look at herself. What I'm saying is that she shouldn't forget to demand the same from her husband. Too many women take full responsibility for situations and for their own behaviour, when their partners' has been just as bad or worse. That is not working things out, it's creating the foundations to accept abuse.
I really don't want to kill the good mood, but I so want to make sure the OP, in future, doesn't accept anything less from her OP than full respect. Surely that can't be a bad thing?

Maybe, maybe not.
If you are familiar with the cycle of abuse, you wouldn't take the happy phase such at face value.
Not saying it's the case, but considering the red flags, I am still worried by seeing the OP putting it all on herself.
The OP is at a junction here. Taking full responsibility may be the path to further abuse.
Keeping in mind that he overstep her boundaries and that she shouldn't accept it in future can lead to a truly happy life. With or without him.
Anyway, it was an awful situation, where you both acted badly. I hope you both have learnt the lessons you could from here and don't take any more crap from each other. Your child deserves parents who respect each other in every way. Both.

Considering my life experience (mine and friends) and so many threads from here, forgive me for being at least as cautious as happy by the update.
And I am happy that the OP is happier and sorting her own issues. :)
But... don't forget the rest.

Navy, I'm talking about making choices early on to avoid getting in that situation. I'm not saying at all it is like that.

How can you people be saying they should of called police lol you have no idea how he treats her day to day!!

Haven't RTFT but if my dh kept prodding & poking me at the dinner table I'd have punched him too.
Op, your dh sounds like a complete arse.

I agree with Lweji.
It's not "picking at a scab", it's acknowledging the positive but being cautiously optimistic and reminding OP to learn from the incident rather than brush it under the carpet.

OP, I'm glad that he apologised for his part in what happened. If you want relationship advice in future, can I suggest that you tell us a bit more about the bigger picture, because incidents like this can sometimes be a one-off (which I hope this was) but they can sometimes be part of a pattern.

Wow. People here are still desperate for this to be domestic abuse by the DH. I do not understand what pleasure is derived from making up theories about somebody else's life.

Lweji

The amount of projection and supposition you have based your views on and the subsequent deliberate use of emotive language on this thread is astonishing, even by mumsnet standards. You almost seem disappointed that the OP and her DH appear to be working things out, you just can't help throwing in that final virtue signalling hand grenade that is dressed up in faux concern can you? On a wider note the number of posters falling over themselves on the most basic of information to frame the OPs situation as some kind of long term DV scenario with her as the unknowing victim is pretty low. I thought I had a fairly good idea what the definition of a 'poke' was prior to reading this thread, but it appears I was way off the mark, it is not the act of prodding or jabbing (annoying as that is) it is according some on here an assault, an attack, even rape analogies were dragged up! Mumsnet is a hugely impressive and much needed parenting resource yet it is threads such as these that give this sites detractors the ammunition to point and laugh.

Next time my wife is in a silly mood and tickles my feet at the end of the bed or starts poking me despite me giving clear signs of irritation and discomfort instead of telling her to sod off I shall give her a smack, I mean according to some on here it is valid self defence and a reasonable response to my total humiliation.

Erm... more like desperate that it doesn't become routine domestic abuse. But think whatever you want.

NAvyandWHite
I am very sorry for what happened to you and that must have been terrible.

You saying this explains it all in one way though:
What the OP has described is nothing like how my exH acted

You may have had such a high level of abuse that you do not even seem to have recognised the mini version of it that was going on to the OP.

From childhood up people may become vulnerable to abuse, and vulnerable to taking the guilt for wrong things on themselves, through mini stages that get bigger. And then not even recognise the small versions for what they are.

PanGalaticGargleBlaster
I had a fairly good idea what the definition of a 'poke' was prior to reading this thread, but it appears I was way off the mark,

Are you being ironic? If so, I personally do think you are way off the mark if you are supposing that poking is fine when someone says they do not like it.

Please believe other posters here who have said they too would have found it to be very,very nasty. If they say it is, then it is for them.

If you wife is always does that to your feet and you don't like it, have asked her to stop and she continues, then there is something unpleasant going on

Continuing to tickle someone who has made it clear they are finding it objectionable is also asking to be slapped away, imo (although not hit in the face!). It should not take an entire meal to realise you are being an aggravating twat.