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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I just hit DP

455 replies

Icklepickle101 · 13/06/2016 19:28

I feel awful.

DP had been prodding me and poking me all through dinner, he found it funny, I didn't and after telling him and telling him to stop I hit him in the face. At the dinner table. In front of my parents. Now I've stormed off and am sat feeling sorry for myself and like a horrible horrible person and he's just told me if I ever hit him like it again he will hit me back

What the fuck have I done.

We have never ever ever been violent towards each other and he is honestly an amazing man. I just don't know what to do or how to make things right.

OP posts:
Lweji · 14/06/2016 08:57

About the one off:
That's what's worrying about the hurtful prodding. It's conscious and it's not likely to be a one off.
Think about it.

Babylonmood · 14/06/2016 08:58

I think you both behaved pretty badly and neither can rally take the high moral ground. You both need to take responsibility for your own behaviour and not blame the other. Then you need to work out whether this was a one off blip in both of you due to pressure of baby/sleep/living with parents, or something more serious. Good luck.

Oysterbabe · 14/06/2016 09:00

I think it's mostly that the response, hitting someone in the face, is disproportionate to the harm being caused.
I'm sure he thought he was being funny, trying to wind her up. When he prodded a bit too hard slapping his hand away and a very definite "Stop it, that hurt!" probably would have done the trick. Failing that storming off would get the message across. I can't see a punch to the face ever being a reasonable response. It is very, very aggressive and I would bet my house on not one person suggesting op was the victim in this if genders were reversed.

Sallystyle · 14/06/2016 09:02

One rule for the goose, one for the gander.

Or maybe people are replying to the actual situation, not based on the sex of the people involved?

You can't really expect to poke someone, not stop when they repeatedly ask you to stop, then poke hard in the stomach and expect not to be hit back.

My 7 year old was taught at nursery about not touching people in ways they don't like. They were taught that you stop the second someone says stop. OP's partner should have learnt that lesson by now. He just didn't care did he? He thought he had the right to carry on even when OP made it clear she wasn't enjoying it. So no, I have no sympathy for him.

You touch people physically in ways they don't like and ignore their requests to stop then don't be surprised if they retaliate.

This is not a case of double standards simply due to the sex of the OP. People can twist it into that all they like but the facts remain that he was physically hurting her, he didn't stop.

And some want to make him into the victim?

LadyReuleaux · 14/06/2016 09:04

It is not OK to hit, other than in self-defence. I'm not going to say it's OK because you're a woman and not as as strong ior anything like that.

However I can understand lashing out when you are being poked. I absolutely hate being poked and prodded and tbh I wouldn't be staying with a partner who wouldn't stop immediately when I asked them to.

That still doesn't make it OK, it's an overreaction, and you need to apologise. But I do think his behaviour is seriously worrying. And absolutely typical for low-grade, initial stages of abuse, it's done in a "joking" way so you get goaded until you lash out, and then he can make out he was just having a bit of fun and you're the only one at fault.

I'd be keeping a VERY close eye on him and looking out for any more worrying signs. This has started when you've just had a baby. I'd bet good money he is resentful and jealous and targeted your stomach deliberately (though possibly subconsciously).

Lweji · 14/06/2016 09:04

Most of the victim blaming is in relation to the OP.
She should have this, she should have that...
HE should have stopped. End of.

roundaboutthetown · 14/06/2016 09:05

Tbh, I don't think a single slap to the face is worse, physically speaking, than someone continually poking and jabbing you all over your body for a prolonged period. A punch to the face, on the other hand, is most definitely disproportionate.

fusionconfusion · 14/06/2016 09:06

I am very saddened by this thread.

Lots of people have very rigid ideas about what an event like this means, but it doesn't need to mean any of those things. It is something that happened and analysing why it happened, the meaning of it happening and what it means about the OP as a person or her DP as a person won't move this forward in good ways.

I hit my husband once. It was a freak thing. We were standing outside a library trying to get my screaming baby into a sling on top of me. Night was falling. To the right hand side of us, there was a gang of youths who I was quite scared of. Dh came at me quickly and I just lashed out at him and hit him.

There was no "real" threat to me, but I was in "threat mode" and also, unbenownst to myself at that time, acting as many survivors of childhood physical, sexual and emotional abuse do... it triggered a primitive part of my brain which took action without my thinking brain, without any sort of knowing. I was also (again unknown at this time) in the early stages of pregnancy and pregnancy and the postpartum period are times when we are more likely to experience hormonal shifts that can activate the threat system in ways that are not in line with our values or general actions in the world.

Six years on and all is fine. I was diagnosed with a perinatal anxiety disorder within two months of this, got medication, a LOT of therapy and learned how to regulate my emotions using Mindfulness and Acceptance strategies. The work is ongoing and probably will be for the rest of my life but that event remained a one-off that was the catalyst to many changes for the better in our lives.

The thing is, we have tricky brains. That's not our fault. Sometimes we can do terrible things we don't mean to do. And though it's not our FAULT (we didn't choose it in that moment), it is our responsibility to take it very seriously and find a way to learn new skills and strategies to prevent recurrence of these behaviours.

But you know, it's all very much more complex than usually comes across on MN and not a morality play - there are ways and means of dealing skilfully with these questions life asks us of ourselves. When we shame people we activate the internal threat system even further, but what people need to change is to be soothed and learn how to soothe themselves.. and MN is not the best place to do that. It needs to be done in real life and perhaps with skilled psychological professionals.

Dacc · 14/06/2016 09:10

Did the OP say anywhere that he hurt her?

VoyageOfDad · 14/06/2016 09:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Goingtobeawesome · 14/06/2016 09:11

I think a threat of violence in a calm manner is worse than someone who reflexly hits out. He purposely said it to control her, threaten her, bring her back in line, pay her back for what she'd done.

For me, the relationship would stop immediately.

Oysterbabe · 14/06/2016 09:11

She doesn't say that she slapped him roundabout, she says she hit him. We don't know whether that means a slap or a punch, not that I think that's particularly relevant.

Dacc · 14/06/2016 09:12

Posters have to remember that the "game" was in front of the parents, it couldn't have been that bad.

The OP really needs to speak to someone ASAP for the safety of her baby.

SeemsLegit · 14/06/2016 09:14

Ah MN...where the woman is always the innocent and female on male DV is shrugged off. I don't recall the op saying her DH was repeatedly hurting her.

Even so if the genders were reversed lots of posters would be insisting that the only level of violence is 0. Both of them are violent

roundaboutthetown · 14/06/2016 09:16

Oh, fgs, VoyageOfDad. Different people are expressing different opinions, it isn't all going one way at all. Stop trying to simplify everyone's responses into a conclusion that the thread is going one way or another.

roundaboutthetown · 14/06/2016 09:19

Oysterbabe - I know she says she "hit" him, I can read, you know Confused.

kirinm · 14/06/2016 09:19

Bloody hell, I think I've heard it all now. So, the DP not hitting the OP back (which apparently would've been okay because he was provoked) is more evidence of him being abusive because he said something to her in a calm manner. Not at all evidence that actually he reacted in a normal manner by being fucking angry, saying something he'll likely regret but ultimately taking himself away. But nope, it's still all his fault.

Blu · 14/06/2016 09:19

Good post, FusionConfusion,

kirinm · 14/06/2016 09:22

So going would you be happy if his reflex was to hit her back? That would be excusable?

Lweji · 14/06/2016 09:24

I think this is worth highlighting:

I kept asking him to stop and he didn't, then I said please stop poking me again and he did it quite hard right in my stomach and I just flipped and hit him and then apologised and am sat in our room.

How many times again are women supposed to say no nicely?

Why are we always expected to take the higher ground and play fair?
Why do we always have to apologise?

Replace poking with, say, trying to insert his penis in her vagina.

Goingtobeawesome · 14/06/2016 09:26

No and I never said that so stop twisting things.

Funnily enough I'm not you and can feel differently about things and post my opinion.

Many people lash out. IN MY OPINION threatening violence on its own (ie not at the moment of being hit) is calculated.

roundaboutthetown · 14/06/2016 09:26

They were both as bad as each other - he for poking her and ignoring her requests to stop and she for hitting him and storming off without an apology. Hopefully, once they had both calmed down, she apologised for hitting him and agreed that hitting someone is just not an acceptable response, and he apologised for poking her continually when he knew she didn't like it and promised not to play that game ever again.

kirinm · 14/06/2016 09:26

No Lweji I won't. It isn't even close to the same as rape.

Oysterbabe · 14/06/2016 09:27

Replace poking with, say, trying to insert his penis in her vagina.

Fucking hell that's a bit of a stretch. Comparing taking a silly game too far to rape?!

Lweji · 14/06/2016 09:28

It doesn't sound good, does it?

It may not be rape but the principle is exactly the same.
Can you answer my questions?