You asked what caused my relationship to fail. The details are very specific and massively outing but I'll try and outline what happened.
It basically involved an individual very close to him bullying, belittling and pulling away from an individual very close to me, over a long period of time. When it all came to light I endured an horrendous time, where some of those closest to me turned out to be totally duplicitous, liars and incredibly unkind.
When I turned to him for support he did the opposite. He was cold, dismissive, cruel and basically showed me a side that sickened me. We'd had a very good relationship, but some niggling doubts and compromises came to the fore.
Basically his position, as I saw it, was you're a woman, shut up and put up. It's happened, get over it, stop thinking about yourself. He said so many cruel and vile things that it destroyed my feelings for him. I spent a year trying to live with things, but in the end asked him to leave.
He couldn't understand why and still doesn't know why I don't want to be with him. That in itself is the answer. He's like a blank page. Everything is black and white, and ultimately he's an old-fashioned, sexist, immature man. He's massively influenced and damaged - in my opinion - by his very dysfunctional family. But hey, we all have a past, it's not a Get out Of Jail Free card.
It really was a bolt from the blue. It's affected many people and has made me question most of my relationships Some people have been wonderful, others so disappointing.
Good idea to write that list. I wrote down many of the things he said and did, as I couldn't get my head around them.