We're Stayin' Alive, it's DATING THREAD 105

[tanyadm]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

yes. Not contacting. He did say in advance he had a busy week coming up but even so.

Why do they do it if they dont mean it.

He clinked glasses with me and said to our second date on Sunday.

I even wanted something to do whilst bored.

NowWhat are you ok? Have you found some more irons? Re-read your post and he does sound a bit odd tbh. The fish thing....who would get annoyed about at thing like that? I'd say you dodged a bullet there. He sounds like he could have been bad news.
314 I don't think 8 years is too big of an age gap, it depends on the individuals. Is he 8 years older or younger?
dung welcome back! I don't think there is a site for 'smarter men'. They are all a mixed bag if you ask me. Bumble seems to have a lot of arrogant and full of themselves professionals but it really is a lucky dip of men on all the sites IMHO

So I started to get cold feet on Mr Saturday, a bit of stalking research I found out he was heavily political and thats just not me and I'm also not sure I would have fancied him, so I wanted to cancel but didn't have the guts to tell him so I became a bit flaky not answering messages promptly and as a result he got the hint he has work today, so Mr Saturday is out the window. So pinning my hopes on Mr Sunday, who is my favourite . Been chatting for weeks. He was a match and we were chatting when the whole phone number psycho thing was happened, but obviously changed my phone number and lost him. Found him back on Tinder a week or so later and (he superliked me!) I explained the situation and he was very understanding, we've been having long, nice chats ever since. Fingers crossed.

Prizey , he's 8 years older than I am. Which most people don't bat an eyelid at but for ME feels like a gap. I didn't go in to this looking for an older man. I specifically wanted somebody as close to my own age as possible. I would have said 3 years either way. Anyway, I guess when I realised I liked him enough to not care as much as I usually would, I span it in to a plus on the grounds that he'd acknowledge that I was younger than him, making an exception for him but how could he give that a second thought if his last gf was a 37 year old who wanted to have a child with him and he said 'no thank you see you bye' and his x was also younger than me. I think now he might see me as 'finally going for a woman nearer to my own age' i think he's making an exception too

Luckily I''m seeing him later. I hope I'm not turned off honestly. I'm so tired of getting just this close and then either being turned off by something strange or they disappear.

i know this sounds insane. It's not something I was going to say out loud to him. These are those fleeting thoughts that you can only run past you guys!

Good luck with MrSunday!

I can't believe you lost the number of a promising Iron! sloppy work prizey!

Ha ha....no 314 I had his number (I still do! He doesn't have mine) I didn't know how to get in touch with him without divulging my phone number (which I'd promised myself I'd not send irons after the last fiasco) so went back onto Tinder to find him and luckily I did!

314 8 years older isn't that much, the maturity could be a great plus side. If hes always dated younger he could well have a young outlook on life. Don't think about the age, or his ears, or his teeth and just let him show himself to you and his potential to be right for you. Sit back relax and don't sweat it. You'll know if he's got potential in time.

I am looking forward to seeing him later, I just don't know how I'll feel after this evening. I'll keep seeing him if I'm ''allowed'' to hold off on making up my mind for a bit. You know how men can me. It gets to however many dates and then you feel that you have to have decided, because they hope/want sex and you're still assessing..............

Well if he puts pressure on you to decide 314 thats a black mark, he needs to be patient and he will be if he's a keeper.

No more irons. The two I have chatted to turned out arseholes.

He did say he had a low tolerance for arseholes and that I was a refreshing change. He said some people say nasty things on dates and I was really upbeat and sweet.

Now poof. I wasnt that bothered. But now i am.

Maybe by having sex on the first date...which I wanted. I blew it.

No you didn't blow it...he blew it. If he's changed his mind because you had sex on the first date then fuck him, he's an arsehole. Decent men wouldn't be put off by that. Remember its all bullshit until it happens. Whatever he said to you could have been bullshit regarding 'people are nasty on dates'.....he's been nasty to you by treating you like this!! Honestly nowwhat he sounds like a prick, he's done you a favour, honestly.

he hasn't put any pressure on me at all prizey, luckily.

nowwhat1983 the two irons you were talking to weren't worthy of a meeting but stir the pot! Send out five messages :-p I kind of hate that, feels like homework. But ........ that's the stage at which men don't mind you being assertive. REmember, you only slept with that guy because you weren't bothered about seeing him again. Now that the rejection feels mutual you're letting it get to you but don't.

I had sex with him.

But then he saw me the next day and the next at his instigation.

Now poof.

I dont get it.

Maybe I said to much.

Moose Burgers. You delivered the moose burger and robbed him of the opportunity to go out in his jeep in the cold with waders and a rifle and binocculars.

Nowwhat as everyone has said, if he's going to do one because you had sex on the first date then he's not worth your time. I don't get it, I really don't. He seemed keen from what you were saying. Don't waste any more thoughts on him - easier said than done I know. But get back out there!!

I am still yet to 'break the seal' as I have been plagued, forgive for TMI, with a 3 week visit from Aunt Flo.After 4 years having never had one. I've been all clear today but then just as I start getting ready for my date... She's back!!! someone out there really wants me to make my year anniversary don't they!!

Hi! I'll be less selfish in a minute and peruse the thread, but I need a WwyD !
Just had a great day date with a dude. On paper, he's awesome - radio 4, politics, vegetarian, same music and book tastes, etc etc and I've had such a great day with him. Talked ourselves into oblivion!
BUT I don't fancy him. I just don't, there's not a spark . I wish there was.
He travelled a long way to see me today, and I have a sneaking feeling he was expecting to go for dinner too ( I had to get back for kids).
I said I didn't like having the 'how do you think that went' convo in person. But what do I say by text now??? I think his ego is quite fragile, and I don't want to hurt that....

Sky see him again!! I was in same position a couple of months back. By third date I fancied the pants off him. Sadly we split because of_him not being able to tear himself away from his children childcare issues. I definitely say another date or two!

prizey you reckon? I just can't visualise kissing him etc 😕

nowwhat yeah, sadly I think that might be it. What is it with guys that act super interested, and then fecking nothing??? I don't get it!

It is hard as he texted me as soon as he got home on Saturday night and asked me out again then next day.

I dont know what happened or maybe I should not have met him him again so soon but we got on. He talked abut exes: says he never lasts as he is always working. I didnt ask to see him again. He kept mentioning next time.

Ive contacted a few others but they have all turned out total arseholes. literally naked pics within minutes of talking.

I thought this one was a gentleman.

SkyRabbit I just thought it would give me something to do for a while.

Yes sky I was exactly the same. Sat on my hands the whole time, incase he tried to hold my hand. Gave him a peck on the cheek and said 'mwah' when we said goodbye .
Friends in RL and on here told me to go for another date as I knew he was a lovely guy. And sure enough as I got to know him I began to really fancy him. Couldn't keep my hands off him in fact. It certainly opened my eyes about attraction and the theory of the initial spark.

I'm currently 2 months into dating someone I didn't feel a spark with on the first date or two!

Carrot A 3 week visit from Aunt Flo?! Bloody hell, that's the definition of inconvenient when your actively dating & looking to break the seal.

Well after 3 days of no communication from Audidriver, he finally texted yesterday to apologise, citing a stressful week at work. In reality, I think it was Friday night, he was at home and horny and wanted some attention. I was out with a friend so he sent me a cock shit and said he was thinking of me. Still no sign of wanting to meet up again though so I really dont know what his game is.