We're Stayin' Alive, it's DATING THREAD 105

[tanyadm]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

no it wasn't a link! just something that resonated with me. I wanted Bear to realise that, and now I'm dating this guy, MSG (monosodium glutamate, ha ha) I am literally having a dialogue with myself to try and figure out if the flaws I've noticed are turning me off, or if I'm just looking at them too much. I mean, the first day i met him, I thought he was attractive, so how, now that he's been nothing but lovely to me for the last two weeks, can his teeth be putting me off him. Or are they? Maybe I'm just seeing him through other people's eyes rather than through my own.

tulip I do exactly the same thing, I have no idea why

thanks to all who are telling me to just enjoy it. I certainly am.

We booked a mini break in a couple of weeks - I paid

Still no talking from mine. That's it isnt it.

He was all over me at the weekend. Trying to analyse what I said.

Hello all! I've been busy (in a good way) - Starskey I think we were fishing the same pool, I work in Dub but live in Wicklow - but note the "were"...

FrenchChef instigated the "relationship" conversation on Wed night so now we are officially exclusive. None of my other irons ever got to meeting up stage (I probably subconsciously was not too keen as the more I see of FrenchChef the more I fancy him)

Just thinking about the flaw thing as mentioned above, I find if I really fancy someone I make the flaws into things I like/I start to find them cute (unless they are horrendous dealbreakers like foul BO). So maybe if a flaw is taking over your view of someone it means that you just aren't that into them, and you are looking for something concrete to "hang your hat on", as it were?

Oh you lucky Duck littlewoolly

So things going very well with Frenchy. It's great to hear a positive story.
I've second date with long distance lad. He's very keen though. Which I'm trying not to let put me off.

I can be the same about flaws. If I really like the person they are attractive to me no matter what. But if I'm a bit meh, then I will focus in on the flaws and they become deal breakers.

Oh Spotty nice! Let us know how it goes.

NowWhat1983 Such a shame - do you think he's just busy with work? I'd imagine his schedule is pretty full on when he's 'on.' When did you last hear from him? I'm the same with Audidriver; haven't heard from him since Tuesday night so feeling very sad but it's only Friday so not that long really. I'm starting online dating now and I've got in touch with an old iron to see if he's still around (and interested). He lives hundreds of miles away but is the same age as me, has a fab & interesting job and is drop dead fit and gorgeous and very intelligent and hung like a horse Arf!

Must admit to secretly stalking Audidriver on FB his story checks out - lots of pictures and tags with his brothers and mum and dad. The last photo/mention of him and his ex was 3 years ago - looks like she gave him the boot when she gave birth so separated 3 years not six months as I previously thought.God, I need to get a life don't I.

Anyone use Tinder? I'm setting up a fake FB profile - still with my name, photos, age on etc but no identifiable info. so irons can't find me in real life iyswim. Is this the way to go or is it deceitful? I can't decide between honesty and safety.

I'm also going to try OK Cupid.

Single I do exactly that, use a photo of a flower or puppy or whatever for your profile picture on FB and they can't find you. Not deceitful at all, just very sensible! Tinder and OK Cupids are both pretty good if you ask me.
Careful when stalking on FB, you come up in their 'people you might know' and they will know that you have been looking.

Congrats woolly what lovely news!

Nowwhat I don't get that at all, so confusing, don't torture yourself with the whys and wherefores. Find some distractions. Such a shame.

Single - you can pick and choose the pictures you use on tinder from Facebook, and it only shares your first name and age, so you should be ok if you want to use your normal Facebook.

Eek woolly! How exciting!!

Nowwhat - what a shame did you send him a text in the end? Can't stand lack of response etc. Why can't people just be up front??

PrizeyPrize I stalked him (and his family) using my fake Facebook profile so no picture and completely different name and DOB etc.

Carrot I'd heard that Tinder suggests mutual friends and friends of FB friends for your matches - that's why I've done a fake profile. I'm still FB friends with loads of my ex's friends so have to be careful. I want to fish outside that pool if at all possible although I live in the sticks so perhaps not very realistic.

Yes. I sent him a text on Wednesday and he replied nicely. I replied again and nothing.

He did tell me he was going to have a full on week.

He did also tell me that none of his relationships last and the longest he has lasted is 6 months.

He told me that he works loads and does locums at weekends to afford his mortgage. He also does on calls.

He said to me he barely sits down at work and the only day he was free this week was Saturday.

Who knows. He did tell me who he was. His parting shot was keep in touch.

Well I am not chasing or getting hung up. Straight back on tinder etc and line up another!

Good for you nowwhat

I am a bit upset though. I spent Friday Saturday and Sunday and he seemed to really like me. He kept on and on about next time....mentioned Saturday.

Then nothing after he dropped me home.

Does anyone think this is a glaring red flag:

He said he has a really low tolerance for arseholes. But he found me refreshing and nice.

He is really easily wound up. One girl he dated couldn't eat fish....allergic. That pissed him off something chronic. It wasn't even her fault and he acknowledged that but it pissed me off that they couldn't eat in fish restaurants.

Pissed *him off

no good comes to those who snoop but I googled MSG's x and she's got a really brilliant linked in page and is very attractive 'together' looking and probably younger than I am. 8 years feels like a big gap to me, I was coming around to it. I really wanted somebody closer to my own age. And I think I came around to that age gap 'on the grounds' that I'd be appreciated and valued........... but now I am confused. I'm being very silly.

lillywoollypervert, I know what you mean about having some vague uncertainty and not knowing what to do with it, then you notice, hey, his ears are slightly too low down and you 'hang' the slight uncertainty on that.
I'm having a wobble today. Just thinking, how could it even work. HOW?! My kids are always here.

Glad to hear it's going well with French chef!. Is he french or does he cook french food!?

I'm Going to try my hardest to stick with the thread this time. As you approach 1000 posts. I can be in the new one early doors.

I've just signed my divorce papers so they should arrive back from court in a few weeks. Be good to share that somewhere.

I've not dated for a year almost. Ex left 3 years ago. So I'm going to get back on the wagon.

Help me out a little as I get to know y'all?

Which dating site do you like for 'smarter' men?

No good does come to those who snoop. I found a way to check someones last active on tinder. he was on it at 7pm tonight.

I wasnt bothered when we were together. Why say all that and talk of future meetings and ask me out with his friends, etc. I wasnt bothered. He has just gone completely quiet and I dont know why I am upset.

I just go for the ones with masters! Like a degree isn't good enough for me :-p

It's just torture nowWhat1983

I'm not looking on pof atm cos i'm too busy for one man and one job and organising my holiday (!) but the man i'm dating is one of those upgraded members so I think it shows him as being on line all the time, i know when we were just messaging it did. And same with a guy i dated but didn't actually care about back in jan.

Oh nowwhat it's awful isn't it. It just doesn't make sense. I honestly think the dating world would be so much easier if people were just up front and honest. Yes you'd still get hurt but at least you'd know why, and not have all the waiting and wondering. Pshhhhh.

Can we agree this guy is a write off?

Saw him Friday and Saturday and Sunday at his instigation but now he isnt bothering at all.

You mean, not contacting you? Yeh, I'd write that guy off. :-/