Why is another woman's debit card in my house?

[NatashaRomanoff]

Please talk me down, I think I'm close to a panic attack.

My husband is away on business today, he will return this evening, so I can't speak to him right now.

This afternoon I have found a debit card in my house (in the living room) behind some furniture that is not mine. It's not my name or anything close to it. We don't know anybody by the name. The piece of furniture was only recently moved and there was nothing there.

So where the fuck did this come from? Please tell me there's a solution that doesn't include him shagging around. He hasn't shown any of the signs - I know them - exH cheated. I'm an absolute mess.

Bah, why is it always a womans name on these things?? If it was a man's card that had randomly turned up there would be far less panic, i think the universe does it on purpose

Chin up OP, you need WINE.

if it was a man's card, i'd immediately assume someone had been doing coke in the house, but in a madly sexist way, I don't have that auto assumption with this mystery lady's card.

I would wait to speak to him in person. If you've got the slightest doubt I'd want to see his reaction when you ask him if he knows x.

I think a lot of this is down to your exH Natasha

it could be the Nanny, its could be he picked up a work colleagues, he might have found it etc

I found someone's Oyster card in my compost ,a 2014 card

and yeah google this woman!

I can't believe your first thought is DH is shagging around

That's problematic in itself. There are so many reasons that random bank card could have landed in your house and you've straightaway jumped to cheating husband

Seems like you've no trust in him!

Czerny, not everyone displays signs of cheating hence the reason so many people get away with it.

How old are your DC OP? Maybe they do know something about it but are to worried to say? Maybe found it in a cash machine, took it, then panicked? Maybe given to them by a mate for some reason?

I have not cancelled the cheque... Yet

No signs of any foul play from him at all, my conclusions jump to this because of my issues, not his. I am broken from going through this before and the fear of it happening again makes me irrational. Which is why I need to have sense talked into me.
The piece of furniture was bought new a year or so ago, it was flatpack so no chance the card could have been caught in it. It is a new card.

I could contact him, but I am also at work and this is not a conversation I want to have via text message.

First response after asking in the house would be to text dp and ask if he knows a person called 'name on card'? could just be someone from works card or something. If he doesn't know them then I'd assume was stuck in the furniture.

Has the card expired or is it current?

Cross posted , just seen its new. I would ask if if he knows this person, see what his reaction is.

If your DH was shagging around and had another woman bank card i feel quite sure that behind furniture in the sitting room would be the last place he would hide it! I think the kids know something and are not telling

It's a new card as in - when you bought the furniture would have been before the start date?

Bless you - hoping there's a reasonable explanation on this. Think I agree with PP about texting him asking who '' is. See what he replies?

Weird situation, how would it even get there behind furniture. Surely if it was anything terrible or even the nanny etc it would of been dropped infront of furniture? Unless kids have 'posted' it down the back. Hmm. I hope you find out op X

Have you been to a bar recently and put a card behind to run up a tab? Getting wrong card back not all that uncommon (is it same bank as yours / yr husband's?)

DC are all under 10, so they won't have been near a cash machine to get it. It was actually down between the furniture and DDs toy kitchen. Said kitchen also new.
I know it's not healthy, Ned I've actually come a long way from the mess I was when I met DH, largely due to him putting up with my paranoia whilst I grew the ability to trust again. He's brilliant and deep down I don't think he is cheating, I just struggle very much, with things like this, to be rational.
The name is one that could have several different shortenings, eg Victoria can be Vicky, Vix, Torie etc etc. So possible more difficult to find somebody. (N.B, not actually the name).

Going to a bar would mean actually going out of the house!
Kids definitely of "posting" age, but that doesn't explain how they would have had it to post in the first place?

Does it say Miss/Mrs/Ms on the card? Mine has Mrs XX Carabos on the front.

Ring the furniture and toy company and ask if the named person works there? You never know...

Do your kids go to play groups, friends homes that other mothers go to, soft play etc?

They could easily find and pick one up somewhere like that.

THIS will tell you what bank and which branch location it is (going off the sort code, if that is on the card - some banks don't put them on cards, namely Natwest).

Even if your H was messing around, why on Earth would he need AND keep another woman's card? Most women wouldn't hand over their card to a lover, they'd want his .

Could be anything at all like mentioned in the thread.

It could easily have been in there since before you bought the furniture and has only just dislodged. It could be that someone sat on the sofa in the store and lost their card in it!

Could you go onto your DH's Facebook profile and look at his friends list, see if any of the names match?

Have you got your Nanny on FB- maybe check the names on her friends list on there. Could be a friend of hers.

Place marking as I'm a nosy so and so!