Brave Babes Battle Bus

[Halleberry]

New thread girlies as the other was about to run out ... Hope you all find this one xxx

Morning babes.

How's everyone doing? I'm on day 1 here....proper health kick needed so I'm bedding down on the bus for, hopefully, a good long while.

And lovely to here from you mouse!

Sorry early morning loss of the ability to spell *hear

Morning Claret, Day 2 here. I need a proper health kick too, I have booked myself in for a 5 day health retreat at the end of September (88 days away to be precise . I am 53 with grown up girls and it's about time I looked after myself .

Day 4 . Keep thinking if I don't drink I can avoid waking up tired, hungover and anxious...yet I'm feeling tired, hungover and anxious Had about 10 hours in bed, and slept for a lot of it (helped by diazepam) though so hopefully can avoid a complete emotional meltdown like yesterday.

Have a meeting with occupational health in a bit to convince them to give me permission for regular time off for long term therapy...will most probably have to explain why as it does screw up the rota quite a bit. If they say no I have no idea what to do.

Working a long shift tomorrow so hoping not to drink tonight, but after that I'm off for 7 days so we all know what will probably end up happening...

claret good luck with day 1. Does combining it with a health kick make it easier? As in an extra justification not to drink?

lala did you order the dress? Your pup stories make me laugh. Sorry not to reply to your posts yesterday x

Elba you are fantastically, don't worry about the 7 days coming up, just concentrate on today. Things change in thw blink of an eye. Saying that I wish I could take my own advice but dont...this is day 2 and it is so nice waking up when you haven't had a drink. For those two hours in the night where I can't drink enough, the whole day is wanted. Wish that feeling this fresh in the morning had thw same power over me to ignore the wine witch from five o clock.

elba well done! Proud of you. Keep going! I have utterly failed to have an AF night this week, and have accepted the fact that I will probably drink this evening as well.

It's so stupid. I was thinking earlier (after yet another engagement and a baby announcement on good old facebook), that it is drinking that has led to my life being as it is. I am 32 and I am technically single, living with my family, treated like a teenager, and now after all this EU stuff, won't be able to sell my own house and buy a new one. So I am stuck. I am basically an overgrown 15 year old. But the reason for this is down to my drinking. I have screwed up many a relationship because of it, have lost many a friend, and now I can't seem to cope with these facts without having yet another drink.

It's a vicious cycle and I am truly sick and fecking tired of it. Need some inspiration this evening babes. So fed up of hearing and seeing my friends get married, have their own homes, have babies etc, when they are younger than me (obviously happy for them), but I know it's all my own fault, and that drives me in the direction of the wine bottle even more... I am so angry and frustrated with myself. And also upset that it is me that is causing this.

I start the day with the best intentions, but by the time I get home, I just think feck it. And you know what happens once that first glass has been drunk... There is no stopping me. It's ruining my looks as well as my prospects to ever be happy.

Sorry, that was a miserable post. Going to take pup out for a run now. Couldn't even face going to see her when I got it, and went straight upstairs, she sat outside in the garden looking up at my window looking all sad. God, I can't even look after her properly. I am a selfish and terrible person.

Anyway, hope you are all ok. No elba, I haven't ordered the dress yet, and with all the money I have been spending whilst pissed recently, I really can't afford it. Plus the old bloat has returned with a vengeance, so it would probably look awful on me.

Sorry babes, self destruct and self pity is on full, this evening.

Didn't make day 3 as usual. Ashamed. Today I let everyone down. My one and only member of staff who was in a foul mood all day and I let it drag me down, instead of supporting her and understanding that she was justifiably worried about losing her job; the Veteran who emailed looking for business mentoring his new job because " they said you would help me"; the three Veterans in supported accommodation waiting for me to go out and help them set up their businesses; the young RAF Veteran who told me with pride he was feeling much better now and reduced his medication and was now ready for a work placement.....and I can't help any of them because I have no money and no resources and no time. So I let them all down and now I am drinking and have let myself and all of you down.
Somebody break out the squid!

Feeling really rough here, achey, headache, nausea etc etc... Caved and have bought wine, but not had any yet. Still undecided. Just got no idea how I'll cope for 12 hours at work tomorrow if I still feel the same...a normal hangover seems preferable. But then also don't want to break my little run of af days either...

lala I do get it, I'm the same. But reading your post there were so many parts that you really could try to turn into reasons/motivations not to drink. You're drinking to cope with your drinking essentially, which if you look at from an outside (normal sober person's!) perspective is totally illogical. It only makes sense to us as we are stuck in the cycle.

Would you consider something like CBT? Or online alcohol counselling? Just seems like you need something to help change and focus you're thought patterns and behaviours to help break that cycle.

Anyway not preaching (not in a position to anyway!), and very clearly not an expert here, but just a thought. Big hugs ️xxx

Evening babes.

elba stick with it...I'd expect if you do you'd feel better tomorrow than you did today? It would be such an achievement - keep with it.

ma, lala hugs....I'm off to the boot to dig out Barrie...

Day 1 done here, bone-crushingly tired so off to bed soon. elba in answer to your question...eating right most definitely helps me stay off the booze. I'm an all or nothing kinda gal. Unfortunately been in the 'all' camp too much just recently.

Ok ma I can't say I fully know the ins and outs of what you do, but from what I've read since I've been on here you haven't let anyone down.

You are obviously committed and passionate about what you do, and have been fighting to for it; it's the people/organisations you've been appealing to (I don't know the specifics...) who have (I think...sorry if I'm getting totally the wrong end of the stick here) failed so far to help you resource your work that have let you down. You've not let anyone down, you're the one that's been bloody fighting for it for so long!

But since you asked...

Elba that picture made me laugh so much

Ok need help ASAP. Been riding on my reserve pony, who decided to joke around and try and throw me off. Boy I am seeing is in my house... He is so good with my dog. And me. He has told me not to worry about having a shower while he makes dinner. I just want to sink a bottle of wine....

How can I not fuck this up?

Have a huge soft drink to fill you up. Focus on nice boy who will like you better sober than pissed

Gah just lost my message.

Distract distract distract lala....read mumsnet classics? Have a bath? Online jigsaw? Early night?

And that squid is the best thing I've seen in ages

Ugh I'm so completely emotionally incompetent sober...feels like PMT times 1000, now crying over something so stupidly irrational I'm too embarrassed to put it here.

Also feel like crap physically...totally sure a drink would sort both issues, but have to be up at 5.30 so left it too late to start drinking.

So tempted to try just one. Can't face another night of shit sleep and can't cope with work feeling like this either physically or emotionally.

If I drink I'll regret it and feel shit, if I don't drink I'll still feel shit and miserable. So yeah, it's shit basically...

Sorry for the rant

I found a squid who wants to give everyone a hug x

Honestly ma you haven't let anyone down, especially not us. Please try not to be so hard on yourself, think of everybody you have helped, not the few you haven't been able to. Hugs.

Thank you.
Is it just me or is sprite's squid a tad, erm, phallic?

It's just you.

joey!

Didn't drink, so that's 4 days done. Should feel happy about it, but just feel weird. Dreading the night and dreading work tomorrow. Having insane mood swings and don't want make a fool of myself. Stupidly hungry too for the last two days, which is freaking me out.

Sorry for multiple self absorbed posts, feeling sorry for myself and lonely tonight and just needed to write it somewhere.

Anyway night all x