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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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DP beat up my DF..struggling to deal with it.

166 replies

MySordidCakeSecret · 26/05/2016 18:08

This happened a few years ago now but it's just today popped into my head and is extremely upsetting. I don't deserve it because i'm a coward but please be gentle and sensitive.

It was over an argument about money, i didn't see it as i was told to go to the car, then a few minutes later dp came out covered in blood and told me to drive. I was obviously extremely distressed but to my utter shame i didn't go in to see my dad. I can't remember what happened afterwards but for some reason i didn't split with him, if i did he wormed his way back.

I know from what i've been told that DP punched my dad multiple times when he was standing and df sitting who didn't fight back. Police were called but he dropped charges (religious reasons and aspergers if that's relevant)

It sounds like i'm a disgusting person but i love my dad so much. Even after that he has still supported me and always been there if i needed him and now i'm wracked with guilt and don't know what to do.

OP posts:
GarlicShake · 27/05/2016 19:41

Oh, well done, Sordid! Where are you & DC now? Is someone with you for company/comfort?

KatieKaboom · 27/05/2016 20:06

Wonderful you. Flowers

nilbyname · 27/05/2016 20:10

I wanted t come back on here and say I'm sorry if my earlier now deleted post upset you further.

Well done one leaving, you're future is bright and will only get better. It's kind of amazing how strong you can be when you need to be. Keep on keeping on x

NeverbuytheDailyMail · 27/05/2016 20:53

I'm glad you're feeling strong. You can do this for you and your DC.

ZippyNeedsFeeding · 27/05/2016 21:04

Well done. In a year, you will look back on this time and see it for what it is- a difficult time which you had to go through to get to the really good stuff.

From now on, who is to blame for what isn't that important. What matters is making a new life for yourself and your children. Just make sure you have good advice re kids and access, maintenance etc, because it doesn't sound like he will play nice.

You are not alone. You will get through this. You will be stronger and happier for it. I wish you nothing but the best.

Pseudo341 · 27/05/2016 21:25

Well done OP. Things can only get better from here.

hellsbellsmelons · 27/05/2016 21:57

Wow. You made the decision and did it.
You are far stronger than you think.
Well done.
I hope everyone around you now will help you through this.
It won't be easy but it sound like you are ready and you will stay away.
Here's to a wonderful future with people who trulyblovecand support you.

MySordidCakeSecret · 27/05/2016 22:58

thank you everyone. I'm at home alone with my children but i have a lot of support and although tonight will be the hardest i will be ok. Have bookmarked this thread for when i need to read back on your words!

OP posts:
DorynownotFloundering · 28/05/2016 07:50

Onwards & upwards you are at the start of a new life for you & the DC !

Take care x

LadyStarkOfWinterfell · 28/05/2016 07:59

Where is your dp now?

RosieSW · 28/05/2016 11:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SuckingEggs · 28/05/2016 13:54

You're a superstar 🌟

GarlicSteak · 28/05/2016 14:44

Was thinking of you last night, Sordid. How are things?

MySordidCakeSecret · 28/05/2016 22:59

Thank you garlic, things are ok i had a great day out with my kids today. had some wobbles but this evening i am feeling a lot less teary and unstable. I really wish i could just zap the next week and go from there, because i doubt myself a lot but i think with the strength from my aunt (who i can't wait to go to on monday!) it will be easier.

OP posts:
GarlicSteak · 28/05/2016 23:36

Actually, lovely, it's great that you know this will be a tough time emotionally and that your aunts going to be there for you come Monday :) Glad you had a nice day out!

Be kind to yourself. x

DorynownotFloundering · 06/06/2016 08:46

Hope thing are improving for you OP & that your lovely aunty is spoiling you rotten x

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