DP beat up my DF..struggling to deal with it.

[MySordidCakeSecret]

This happened a few years ago now but it's just today popped into my head and is extremely upsetting. I don't deserve it because i'm a coward but please be gentle and sensitive.

It was over an argument about money, i didn't see it as i was told to go to the car, then a few minutes later dp came out covered in blood and told me to drive. I was obviously extremely distressed but to my utter shame i didn't go in to see my dad. I can't remember what happened afterwards but for some reason i didn't split with him, if i did he wormed his way back.

I know from what i've been told that DP punched my dad multiple times when he was standing and df sitting who didn't fight back. Police were called but he dropped charges (religious reasons and aspergers if that's relevant)

It sounds like i'm a disgusting person but i love my dad so much. Even after that he has still supported me and always been there if i needed him and now i'm wracked with guilt and don't know what to do.

[SuckingEggs]

OP, where is your anger????

We posters are angrier and we don't even know your disgusting husband!

[3dogsandacat]

You were told to go to the car and went? Do you always do as you're told?

Are you from a culture where women are treated like,second class citizens and must do as they're told. Or else?

[travellinghopefully12]

'You're an awful Daughter' and other comments like this aren't helpful. The OP is clearly in a horrible place, and in a relationship with someone abusive.

[Offred]

your DP has "been forceful" during sex, tried to coerce you into oral sex, bullied your child, shared racist pictures on social media and now you tell us he beat up your Dad

Don't forget he has cheated on you...

Please phone women's aid.

Are the religious reasons that stopped your dad reporting him also the reasons you have stayed with such an appalling man?

I have back searched you and you seem sensible and intelligent, please leave him, you will be so much better off.

[TheBlessedCheesemaker]

OP - you mention aspergers. Is it something your father has? If so, do you suspect that you have aspergers as well? Do you feel as if your DH is your emotional anchor and everything will fall apart if you leave him?

[ScrambledSmegs]

What would it take for you to actually leave him? Because it seems like he's done really terrible things and yet you're still there with him.

Is it cultural/religious reasons that keep you with him?

[MajesticSeaFlapFlap]

I'd run and wouldn't look back

[GarlicShake]

If you were to ask your dad, this evening, to take you and DC in because you're leaving this bully - what would your Dad say?

[frumpet]

Christ , if DH who is far from perfect did this you would have had to burn me off the bastard !

Was the petty squabble because your DF said no ?

How many times have you had to move house whilst you have been with your DP ? and how many jobs has he had ? I am betting lots on both counts , because other ordinary people won't put up with his shit

[LaConnerie]

I don't think it's bullshit, sadly

Op had been posting for a long time, and her threads are v worrying. I gather from her threads that (some of) her extended family are Christadelphians - if you google the 'religion' they have pretty extreme and disturbing views on certain things. There's also a history of abuse in her family, which was not acknowledged or dealt with. And on too of that her 'DP' is an abusive bastard. I'm not surprised op doesn't know where to turn.

Im wishing I hadn't posted my initial thoughts before reading the back story.

I hope your ok op. And i really hope you have someone in RL not imbroiled in this whole situation who you can talk to. If not would you ever consider calling Womens Aid?

[NeverbuytheDailyMail]

Please call Womens Aid - you could have a really different life Sordid.

[whoopthereitis]

I'm not sure what to say. I know what I would do but this isn't about me. It sounds as if the chickens have come home to roost. If you are sincere, and you feel so awful, change the situation. This is not just your dad but your children's grandfather.

What are you wanting to do?

[SandyY2K]

If my DH laid a finger on my DF in a violent way, he would be my XH sharpish.

Staying with him sends the message that you have chosen him over your DF. As a parent that must be soul crushing for him.

You aren't helping your children by staying with this man. Children are the future generation. Kids learn from their parents.

Why are you still with him?

[Shayelle]

Bloody hell. No matter whats said/done hes your Dad - I would be there right in front of mine and would not step away. Sickening..

[MySordidCakeSecret]

sorry everyone.

[MySordidCakeSecret]

it's because his religion don't like to be involved witht he police and things.

[MySordidCakeSecret]

yes my dad has aspergers.

[Pagwatch]

Your dad has aspergers and doesn't like to deal with the police?

Your poor dad.
Have you even spoken to him about it or did you all pretend it didn't happen.

[whoopthereitis]

Have you said sorry to your father, nevermind us?

[Pico2]

What would your dad prefer to happen now?

[MySordidCakeSecret]

he just says it was years ago and he has control now of that side of him and it's in the past.