DP beat up my DF..struggling to deal with it.

[MySordidCakeSecret]

This happened a few years ago now but it's just today popped into my head and is extremely upsetting. I don't deserve it because i'm a coward but please be gentle and sensitive.

It was over an argument about money, i didn't see it as i was told to go to the car, then a few minutes later dp came out covered in blood and told me to drive. I was obviously extremely distressed but to my utter shame i didn't go in to see my dad. I can't remember what happened afterwards but for some reason i didn't split with him, if i did he wormed his way back.

I know from what i've been told that DP punched my dad multiple times when he was standing and df sitting who didn't fight back. Police were called but he dropped charges (religious reasons and aspergers if that's relevant)

It sounds like i'm a disgusting person but i love my dad so much. Even after that he has still supported me and always been there if i needed him and now i'm wracked with guilt and don't know what to do.

[DorynownotFloundering]

Hope thing are improving for you OP & that your lovely aunty is spoiling you rotten x

[GarlicSteak]

Actually, lovely, it's great that you know this will be a tough time emotionally and that your aunts going to be there for you come Monday :) Glad you had a nice day out!

Be kind to yourself. x

[MySordidCakeSecret]

Thank you garlic, things are ok i had a great day out with my kids today. had some wobbles but this evening i am feeling a lot less teary and unstable. I really wish i could just zap the next week and go from there, because i doubt myself a lot but i think with the strength from my aunt (who i can't wait to go to on monday!) it will be easier.

[GarlicSteak]

Was thinking of you last night, Sordid. How are things?

[SuckingEggs]

You're a superstar 🌟

[LadyStarkOfWinterfell]

Where is your dp now?

[DorynownotFloundering]

Onwards & upwards you are at the start of a new life for you & the DC !

Take care x

[MySordidCakeSecret]

thank you everyone. I'm at home alone with my children but i have a lot of support and although tonight will be the hardest i will be ok. Have bookmarked this thread for when i need to read back on your words!

[hellsbellsmelons]

Wow. You made the decision and did it.
You are far stronger than you think.
Well done.
I hope everyone around you now will help you through this.
It won't be easy but it sound like you are ready and you will stay away.
Here's to a wonderful future with people who trulyblovecand support you.

[Pseudo341]

Well done OP. Things can only get better from here.

[ZippyNeedsFeeding]

Well done. In a year, you will look back on this time and see it for what it is- a difficult time which you had to go through to get to the really good stuff.

From now on, who is to blame for what isn't that important. What matters is making a new life for yourself and your children. Just make sure you have good advice re kids and access, maintenance etc, because it doesn't sound like he will play nice.

You are not alone. You will get through this. You will be stronger and happier for it. I wish you nothing but the best.

[NeverbuytheDailyMail]

I'm glad you're feeling strong. You can do this for you and your DC.

[nilbyname]

I wanted t come back on here and say I'm sorry if my earlier now deleted post upset you further.

Well done one leaving, you're future is bright and will only get better. It's kind of amazing how strong you can be when you need to be. Keep on keeping on x

[KatieKaboom]

Wonderful you.

[GarlicShake]

Oh, well done, Sordid! Where are you & DC now? Is someone with you for company/comfort?

[MySordidCakeSecret]

I've done it guys, thank you for your words i've re-read the post a few times now for strength. Just got to get through the inital week or two and it'll get easier.

[hellsbellsmelons]

So glad to see you are getting away from this awful vile man.

Your kids will be initially upset.
That's a given.
But.... you will soon see them come out of shells and flourish away for their abusive father.

Well done - keep strong and keep going!

[GabsAlot]

good luck i would leave before he gets back if u think he will try and stop you-u dont need to be hnourable now its time to just go

[MySordidCakeSecret]

I'm doing ok, I'm a bit muddled, i totally forgot breakfast this morning befor ei went food shopping which i never ever miss but i am a ball of nervous energy.

I keep feeling a bit teary and like the world is crashing in on me, but i just tell myself it's no big deal, i don't need him.

I've got it all planned and have put things in place so i can't go back on it.

[Pseudo341]

That's great OP. Get together any important documents and bank cards and get out. You're so close now, you can do this.

[ratspeaker]

I think you should seek legal advice re the house and your share in it.

For today collect up things like passports, birth certificates, bank statements. Also any photos and things you value.
Get clothes packed for you and the kids.
You dont need to wait until he comes home. You can leave when you want.

If you feel like you need permission to leave now, we give it. Go.

[IrianOfW]

Good luck sordid.

[NeverbuytheDailyMail]

How are you feeling today Sordid? I hope that you are safe.