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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Kik - what's it all about

108 replies

MilkshakeMonkey · 25/05/2016 16:23

So, yesterday when needed a calculator quickly, I grabbed DH s iPhone and in my hurry swiped right and I saw on his recent used apps he had Kik.

I know nothing about Kik except it's some kind of message app, which I believe has had press for being used anonymously to flirt? (Please feel free to tell me I'm wrong)
We both use whatsapp to message (each other and friends) as phone reception is poor in our area and it uses wifi. So I'm a bit confused why he would have Kik as well? (And it's not been mentioned)

Anyway, I looked back later and it wasn't there (on recent or any icon). Does it have an icon normally?

So, does anyone know much about it?
(Before I get ear bashing about how I should just talk to him, I just need to get my head around it first if it is something I need to worry about)

OP posts:
MilkshakeMonkey · 07/06/2016 14:21

Thanks fellytone , sorry to hear you've been here too

OP posts:
IWILLgiveupsugar · 07/06/2016 14:49

Yy to Fellytone. If it turns out to be as you think remember that the decision to cheat is about his character flaws and (I know it's a cliche on MN) his sense of entitlement, whereby he justifies to himself the decision to go outside of the marriage.

He always had the option of talking to you if he was unhappy or ending the relationship before going elsewhere. His actions are not your fault and he has done you the huge disservice (sp?) of taking away your right to truth about your own life.

JessicaFree · 07/06/2016 22:36

I have a friend who I know is seeing a married man. She's been quite open and said they use Kik. He won't use Whatsapp with her even though she has his phone number. I can't see why but they also get away with meeting when he's working late. I wouldn't now trust anyone who used Kik, to me it's just dodgey.

Hotwaterbottle1 · 07/06/2016 23:07

I use kik and got lots of random messages from people I don't know, usually suggestive comments. No idea how they found me. I just deleted & blocked. So you could easily message him saying hi as he probably gets randoms.

JellyBean31 · 07/06/2016 23:43

I use kik for OLD... I'm neither dodgy or married! I've never had a random message off've anyone tho, but then my username isn't on my profile anywhere, I give it out to people when we want contact away from the OLD site

GlitteryFluff · 07/06/2016 23:56

I think you're doing the right thing ie finding out lots of info before confronting. The more you know the less he can convince you you're imagining it.

hownottofuckup · 08/06/2016 00:08

Has he done anything like this before?

nudeynuderson · 08/06/2016 00:52

Me and dp used to use kik to avoid accidentally texting other people on whatsapp I had no idea it was dodgy. I got about 10 messages off randoms trying to start a conversation and my username wasn't anywhere on any forums or anything. A random message isn't unusual on kik.

Montane50 · 08/06/2016 01:29

A few years ago when I was single, i used kik to message a married man. The reason being that on whatsapp his wife questioned who he'd been messaging at random times of day /night due to the time stamp. I was the only contact he had on kik. It doesn't sound like the things your dp are are the actions of an innocent man tbh

MilkshakeMonkey · 08/06/2016 07:49

It's really hard keeping my head together, my gut is telling me this ain't good.

I need to find more evidence.
Has anyone used remote key loggers or spy wear?

OP posts:
Hotwaterbottle1 · 08/06/2016 08:41

Not the best idea but as I have kik willing to send him a "hi" but that really is a honey trap of sorts.

SandyY2K · 08/06/2016 08:52

The website I PMd you about specialises in infidelity and there are lots of experienced tech people there who can advice you on spyware and keyloggers.

Fellytone · 08/06/2016 09:09

You're entering a risky area there if you install any software on his phone that he doesn't know about.

I'd say messaging him on there is your best option right now. Out of interest, what was the other chat app you said he had on there?

MilkshakeMonkey · 08/06/2016 14:21

Shit - just tried logging into his iTunes account and it has sent a verification code to his phone Shock
Oh well looks like I'm going to be facing up to things sooner then I planned Sad

OP posts:
BarbaraRoberts · 08/06/2016 14:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MilkshakeMonkey · 08/06/2016 14:28

Part of me thinks, wait and see if he says anything.

I'm a shit liar, what feasible excuse is there for trying to hack him apart from why I am?!

OP posts:
BarbaraRoberts · 08/06/2016 14:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MilkshakeMonkey · 08/06/2016 14:32

Today's insecurities started when I saw his fitness app he uses. He follows about 20 people and 18 follow him. He follows 2 women I've never heard him mention and they follow him (and give him kudos). They are local and none of his fitness friends (male ones I know ) don't seem to follow these women. They are local. Is he meeting up with them I wonder?

OP posts:
SandyY2K · 08/06/2016 14:39

Play dumb.

Craicalack · 08/06/2016 15:29

You mention you think he might be onto you ... make sure you are deleting your internet history so he can't see this thread or that you have been googling kik x

Montane50 · 08/06/2016 18:34

If the fitness app you mention is strava, you can check 'flybys'. Basically if he has done a specific route, you can check who was also on that route or segments of it at the same time. You may need to register as a strava user (its free), and i can only access flybys on my laptop not my phone, but its worth checking

MilkshakeMonkey · 09/06/2016 05:31

Sorry not been back - I did such a good job hiding my trail I logged out of MN and couldn't get back in!!

Any way, he didn't mention the verification message. This now feels like some childish game, does he know I know? Was he waiting for me to say something? Is he acting odd or is it me thinking he would be acting odd if he know I was on to him??
So, do I now need to go on the quiet to prevent him suspect him knowing I know.

But hold on - WTF DO I KNOW??
He has had Kik on his phone (this, as demonstrated on here could be innocent)
He has had messages from other women (but as others have said on here, you can be sent random messages on Kik)
He's maybe acting a little odd (or is this in my head or is he just worn out with work stress)
There are women I don't know on his fitness app (he could just follow them because they follow him. They could know someone who knows someone)

Truth is I have nothing definite and he could bullshit his way out of that little lot if he's doing wrong. Confused

Thanks Montane I will try that. Do I have to follow him to get the info though?

OP posts:
Montane50 · 09/06/2016 08:41

Hi, it depends on his settings -i have privacy so nobody can see the runs/bikes ive done, but my dp doesn't so anyone can click onto his activities. If he does have privacy settings try to go via the women instead as they may have open settings?

Montane50 · 09/06/2016 08:43

*but even though I have that setting? My results are open for anyone to see on the leader board (if that makes sense? )

MilkshakeMonkey · 09/06/2016 09:27

I can see his various runs/bikes, he doesn't seem to have privacy on.

When I click to do Flybys a map comes up (of Africa!) and some toggles. Can't seem to find any other info??

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