Meeting to talk things through with newly separated H today. First time I've seen him since we split.

[YoJesse]

Me and my H separated a few weeks back after he became unstable following a drink /drugs binge over the course of a day whilst we had 3 year old ds with us. He's been battling addiction issues on/off for years (and to a lesser extent I have to but am sober now).

We've agreed to meet this weekend one to one to talk things through without anyone else like family or SW there (we have sw involvement) as we both think we need to speak honestly and personally just us). Ds is away with family at the moment so will not be confused to see Daddy.

I'm still feeling sad about the breakup and already cancelled meeting him last night as I feel weaker in the evening. I don't want to fall for any bullshit about how he's going to change etc. It really is the end now.

Any advice or tips on how to handle a tricky first meeting with an ex?

I truthed it with mymum and now I've got nothing. She's told hv who's told ss and that's lt really. Doing the 'right thing is horrible. She's keeping ds for now and has said I can move home when I sort myself out
.so none of my sorting myself out efforts have come to anything except loosing my dh, my ds and he the respect of my mum. I'm heartbroken but apparently have done the right thing

I told her it wasn't just drink. Shesok with a bit of drinking. I told her about skunk, coke, dh been a twat and she didn't like it.

She brought ds home for a CAMHS appt and I'd forgotten she's coming back and she came to the flat

I didn't lie to you iv been more truthful on here than anywhere.

I have a support theap in addiction support. I've said there. I forgot where you know.

No, she was bringing him back for the appointment

A support thread. I've forgotten where you know.... Typing on my phone

Thanks arf. It just feels like everything is out of my control now. Despite what people in rl on here think he is my life. I'll sort it out for ds.

Because, earlier today I was a bit fucked. I'd forgotten about the appointment. I wouldn't have been in that way I'f I'd known
. And I know what your so subtly trying to get otr. Dh was here too.

Well I hope I can sort it out and get my son back. How Ami lying now???????

You're not supposed to be 'in that way' at all are you?

So your mum turned up, with your son, you and the useless twat of a husband were there drunk/drugged up? Thank goodness she's taken him away again, and I'm glad she's informed the authorities

Are you ever going to get it? Or do you actually want this half life with your son living apart from you - possibly in care or adopted further down the line? He's 3 and he's under camhs FFS, how much more do you want to fuck him up?

You can say what you like on here but you are not taking responsibilty or heeding social services' requirements.

If you continue to use, drink and prioritise your addiction and your addicted husband over your DS you risk losing your DS. And, if your family are not for some reason deemed suitable carers, he could go into care.

I don't WANT TO Fuck him up at all. I'd have never been like that if I'd remembered he's coming back today.

No I don't want to live a shitty half life
I was honestly doing so so so well and now it counts for shit because he's gone. I really was never as bad as dh ever. My drinking etc was only after bedtime and because thing's were shit, we'll things are shit all the time now ds has gone so why stick to the rules