Would like a female perspective

[Hopeihaveachance]

Ok. So I had a bad weekend. Is not the first time
Wife and I had a couple of arguments. Mostly my fault bringing up stuff that should be long forgotten about. Stiff that happened years ago.
Had a leaving drink with a few mates from work came home and for some reason it just came out. But then on the Sunday I did it again! Now my wife days she has had enough I'm sleeping in the spare room and she's taken her rings off . And tbh I couldn't blame her. But she's pregnant with our first child together (she has a 3 from a previous r ) and I don't want to lose them. I really have had enough of my stupid behaviour. I know I need to grow up. So I sent this

^I'm really really sorry I have hurt you. I wish with all my heart I hadn't said the things I said. I can promise you it will NEVER happen again because I have learned that without trust there is no relationship. I am quitting the drink completely. It makes me say and do things that hurt you and I hate that.
I want to be a part of yours and the kids, not to mention our little bumps life. I want to rub your feet when they are sore. Have you rest your legs on me when we watch the telly. Have family days. Go on holiday. I want it all with you, My beautiful wife.
I really have thought about what I have been doing and I am embarrassed by my behavior.
Please think about giving us another chance. I love you with all my heart. Xxxx^

What do you think?

Nice update.
I'm glad you are realising and seeing things for what they are.
Enjoy reconnecting with everyone.

She still won't let me see my step kids
She's been seeing her ex (the father) a lot so I've been told so I suppose that might explain some of it?
It's been a bad day. I don't like weekends anymore. I suppose I just feel a bit lonely.

You need to forget about her kids. You have no legal entitlement to see them and it will only cause pain all round.

Focus on the child she's carrying and get the paternity test done as soon as possible after the birth.

Your wife is a cheater. She cheated on her ex with you and she cheated with an emotions affair (that you know of) in your marriage. Start seeing her for what she is or you'll continue being in such relationships.

Sandy has put it bluntly, but she is right. You need to focus on your future.

As far as weekends go, try to make plans to do something. Sport, music, movie. DIY for your mum. Meet up with friends. You have to make yourself do something, anything so you don't wallow in this.

Agree - you need to keep busy.
I got a Sunday job when I split with my ExH.
Kept me busy. I got to know and meet loads of people and I enjoyed it and I got paid. Win/Win.
Do you have a hobby you used to enjoy but haven't done for a while?
Cycling, gym???

Acrossthepond

I'm usually diplomatic but he's not seeing her for what she is.

Your wife only cares about herself and I'm sure you don't know the half of what she's been up to during your marriage.

She may well be incapable of monogamy. A lot of people think it's mainly men like that, but women are just as capable and can be very devious too.

I get the feeling you don't have a high self esteem and your confidence is lacking. You need to have belief in yourself and value yourself or nobody else will.

Be strong and assert yourself in your everyday dealings. Get out there, raise your head up and remember you only have one life. Don't live in misery or regret.

No doubt you have many good qualities and someone will value that.

Only you can make yourself happy.

Her children have a father - don't focus on them.

Thank you. I think I needed to hear that.
I've got very little self esteem now, I used to be fairly confident but I've kinda lost my way at the moment. I try to walk tall, keep my dignity but it's hard.

She had a scan today and I got a text saying "just had the scan. It's a girl. All healthy"
I just replied "excellent"
At least she told me I suppose.

HI I've NC as i know i don't have a chance anymore, nor do i want one! so it didn't seem appropriate any more...
since i last posted i've found out that her ex has stayed over a couple of times and they are going on holiday together with the kids in a couple of weeks.
I suppose i should be upset, but i honestly don't think I am, if she was going to get together with anyone then the father of her children could well for the best (for the kids i mean)
She won't tell me anything about appointments etc, which hurts but i will carry on as i have been and contact her nearer the birth.
I just wanted to say thank you to you all for your advice over the past few weeks, it has really helped me.