Spring has sprung and the sap is rising! It's Dating Thread 104

[IToldYouIWasFreaky]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

sky it's pretty much swings and roundabouts and they ALL have weirdos and hook up guys alongside the ones who are genuine. No one site is better, just different! Best thing you can do is sign up and give it a try. Nothing to lose!

One of the things I really like about Tinder is that people are looking for all kinds of things and are usually quite open about it so it's fine to ask. One of the standard Tinder questions..."how tall are you?" "where do you live?", "what are you looking for?"

I find LOTS of people that are on OKC, PoF etc are also on Tinder, so it's kind of a catch all for local singles.

oof Tinder is a bit nervewracking isn't it? I'm being ever so careful swiping!! I've had a few matches, and my first message woo hoo!

and I missed your post before misszp. difficult day for you, but this new house is yours, all yours. You can sit around in your pants if you want, and you can eat what you want when you want, and decorate how you want - that's very exciting! (I'm not trying to diminish the sadness btw x)

Sorry to hear that sky. Onwards and upwards though. I quite liked Tinder, it was fun, but then I started seeing a lot of people I knew and got fed up with the non-repliers. Felt like it was doing my ego more damage than good after a while so I got rid. Might get it back in a while though.

So I ended up replying to my work guy and finally, after three months and a lot of angst on my part, he asked if I fancied a coffee. So we'll see if it ever actually happens but that was nice.

Hello everyone!

last vampire is back on the scene! It is a little complicated but I think it's usually a good thing to have more than one iron at the beginning, it stops you getting over invested too early.

Says me who might have exchanged moose burgers with Leicester we are dating exclusively but I haven't yet dared to believe it's happening. We will be on our third date and it may be this weekend or next weekend depending on kids. He's a consistent texter and phoner and he's just lovely and normal. I'm very happy with the way things are heading and he has said so too. The distance between us will definitely help stop us getting carried away.

Freaky I hope the date goes well, I agree that it's often the low expectation dates that are the best. With Leicester I had no expectation as I was half writing him off because of the distance. And then I was totally bowled over in real life after meeting him.

sky I really liked tinder, carry on swiping, it can get addictive!

Good luck freaky with your date tonight!! Loo update please!

foxtrot things with you and leicester seem to be starting off so well and lovely!! How promising, so hard not to get carried away isn't it!

Umm not sure I have 2 irons on the go, vamp is being a dick and so half arsed and lame I'm going to just let him get on with it. I like the guy but I have some self respect and he's literally gone from taking me on an amazing dinner date last weekend to offering me crumbs. No thank you!! I have a zeroith date booked in with disney dad on Thursday and will be ignoring mr about turn unless he actually offers me a date and not Netflix and chill pfffttt

Evening all

Am still chatting to my tinder guy (does that make him an iron? does he need a nickname?)

Haven't got the kids this weekend so would kind of like to end up with a first meeting, but we'll see

Evening all

So a quick and fleeting update. I have decided to stop dating. Had a coffee with mrcalm this morning and told him. Something happened at a work event this week (not to me but someone else) and it triggered a wave of emotions that are related to the breakdown of my marriage. I need to process those and it's not fair to mess anyone around in the meantime. I don't envisage dating anytime soon so like 314 I feel a little like I shouldn't be on here.

I'll pop my head in every now and again (need to hear more happy stories from you all!).

Hello all can I join in??! I have been reading this thread for a while. I have been OLD for the past 18 months, enjoyed it for some casual fun.
I need help!! I usually aim to meet someone who seems promising within a week and I keep the texting to a minimum until the date. It's worked well so far- haven't overly invested so if they aren't my cup of tea, nothing lost.
Until now...chatting to this guy for over 2 weeks. It's different...chat is much easier he is funny he seems to tick all my boxes. Am far too invested and haven't even had a date yet. I sort of pushed it and asked when he would be free and he said this Monday which works for me. We have chatted since over whatsapp but he hasn't made any effort to firm up plans. Should I mention it again or leave it? He is usually the one to instigate contact but maybe he is shy??! What would you do?
Good luck to all on dates this weekend. This thread is such a good place to get a sense check...the OLD world is crazy :(

Hi all!

A very 'me' update as I dash in and out!

Completed on house. I have THE KEYS! I am super happy but also feel quite sad- there is a small nagging ache in my stomach :( I know it'll pass but I hate having to wait these things out. It doesn't mean I haven't moved on, I just think it's the last bit of grieving for what once was with my ex. Like what now?

Update on YPT... Saw him today as he was working. He made it clear that he finds ME hard to read (I smell BS, but we are similar personalities so I wonder if it is clashing, as I find him hard to read and so I can see how my texts can be misconstrued!). So I spelled it out to him in an upfront and flirty way as is our style- I think we get on and want to get to know you more. He agreed. What isn't so good is he's trying to gauge my reaction through making me a little jealous, because other than that he didn't know how to read the situation (I called him out on it, at which point he carried on talking about the fact he likes spending to with me, has been talking to his friends about me- he does, because they comment on it).

So today, with the above I said 'well this is how it is for me'. Yet now I've been upfront he's stand offish again by text (he did tell me he isn't a big texter, but still- he put his opinion out there in person and so did I!). He told me quite clearly in person he wants to see me away from our shared hobby, and likes seeing me. So I'm at a loss and how to play it! Yet he made it clear he was disappointed when I said I would leave him to it as I wasn't into whatever the game was... So WHAT the hell!

Fuck, I really can't explain our chemistry in person. And I KNOW he thinks the same. But he's toying with me. He's sussing the situation. He's not wanting to rush anything after his split (neither am I). Whilst I don't want to rush into anything I still wanna hang out or spend time together, even if we date others.... So how do I either call it quits with him (baring in mind he will always come see me in the gym when he's working!), or prompt this situation into more? How do I let the buzz go because of the chemistry, when it's got me on tenterhooks (I know it shouldn't, please give me a pep talk).

Excuse the jabbering. House move, tiredness, reminiscing, and wine are a bad combination!

I'll catch up with the rest of your updates shortly!

Hello I posted on MN many years ago under another name when DCs were born, but now I'm in very different position. H left me 4 mths ago for OW, but he'd been lazy, selfish and uncaring for years; In effect I've been a single parent forever! I like a work colleague, but at moment just liking a man and using my imagination is fun . I think the distraction from sorting out divorce and finances is good too. He's single but I'm not sure if he's interested and after almost 2 decades in a relationship I feel unsure about how dating happens. With 2DC I have very little time to go out. Sorry prob lots of posts on this, but is dating actually fun or am I better using imagination?

Hi all, I'd like to join this thread too if I may? I've been a bit of a lurker, but I'm now gearing up to dip a toe in the water with dating.

Lilac it was reading your post that's made me finally log on. I feel like I'm in exactly the same situation. I'm now 'divorced' with decree nisi. But needing to go through gruelling splitting of finances and children. So may not be in best place for dating. But I've been living alone (with the kids) for almost a year, and had 10 years of unbearably lonely and unhappy marriage, so I'm just feeling like I want to get on with it now.

My kids are still really young, and with me 99% of time, so logistics of dating will be quite hard.

Basically there's been this guy at work that has fancied me for about 6 months. It's been an ego boost, and made me realise I'm not a lost cause. He is really lovely but he's 12 years younger than me, and I'm friendly with his mum. Anyway he hasn't asked me out or anything, just slightly fancied me from afar I think.

Anyway, for a while I was really wanting something to happen, and this week I felt so angry and frustrated about it all. But it got thinking I just want something to happen in my love life.

Huh, anyway, my action plan is to get started on one of my hobbies in the next few weeks, to slowly start meeting new bunch of people which at lead somewhere, and also to look at e-harmony. Way too scared to think of tinder or anything.

Have a good one tonight Freaky

to Sassy take good ole care of yourself... don't disappear completely...

to everyone else

Good morning everyone!

I've been feeling a bit down this week due to work stuff, unsuccessful dating and generally a bit meh. I've resolved to try and make some changes to feel a bit better and make my life more amazing! I was thinking healthy eating, do some yoga (someone on the thread recommended some youtube videos a while ago) and maybe do something after work one night a week to start with...

On the dating front; I've not contacted or heard from the guy I met up with last Friday (he works abroad and that isn't going to change so no long-term potential) and I gave a polite thanks-but-not- going-to-work text to the guy from Sunday who lives four hours away and tried to kiss me despite there being no chemistry.

I've been swiping on Tinder and have three 'irons', I've decided to name them this time! Mr Gardener Seems lovely, clever, very interesting, well travelled, lots in common, but lives about four hours away and was only here for work (NOT ONE of the five guys I've met from Tinder has actually lived in my city!!!) He's coming back for an event in a fortnight and we're going for a drink which should be fun if nothing else...

The other two are both twenty six (I'm nearly thirty two) and I wonder if that's a bit too much of an age gap. Mr Cautious who I've been speaking to occasionally since January and re-matched with this week seems absolutely perfect but is quite cautious and possibly doesn't have much experience of dating. Mr Fun Times opened the Tinder chat with a proposal of marriage(!!) but is very fun and seems keen so we'll see!

Sorry this is such a long post!

Morning.
Lilac and ribina I've been on pof two weeks now, similar situation to you, two kids not much time for dating. Had my first date last Saturday but it's honestly starting to feel like hard work! Probably won't be able to get a sitter again anytime soon, and not sure if this waiting to see if he txts is that much fun! Dating with kids is a very challenging! Good luck

Went out with guy from tinder good on paper but not sure about chemistry. Worth a second date?

Well tinder is an interesting experience matched very quickly with 6 messages sent from 3 very quickly. 2 disappeared after a few messages one messaged on and off all day yesterday. Then this morning I get a message of him on pof which was obviously just one of the general hello all types...I replied with err hello again. And he's been chatting on pof for a while. Seems nice his profile on pof made me laugh out loud seems promising...he's I.T man.

Good luck everyone

Well I.T man has just given me his number ..... And beach man on tinder has started messaging again ...makes for a interesting Saturday

Running through to say I'm on my way to my date with Bad Timing Man.
I met him IRL.
I like him but life stuff is overwhelming so I'm not fussed because I don't know if I've got the time for a new man.

Off I go anyway.

Good luck anna

Hi all,

what that is good work on the tinder front, sounds like you've got a lot of action - so enjoy it!

christmas if you've got the time I'd say go on a second date - just to double check the chemistry situation.

Thanks for your message help what you are saying sounds exactly what I was worried about. I suppose the hope is that the chemistry is so good, that you can get past all those problems. Did you like the guy you went on a date with? Or do you feel he wasn't worth the effort? Ideally it would be him making a massive effort to work around your timings etc.

Good luck to everyone going on dates tonight!

Just a quick one to say good luck on your dates freaky and anna remember loo update is mandatory

Good luck to Freaky and anyone else who is going on a date over the weekend.

Just had a look on POF and there is absolutely no one of interest in the age group I'm looking at (45-55). Not that I'm taking OLD that seriously at the moment because I'm still living with my ex husband but it would be nice to have someone to dream about at least! Had a few offers in RL but they were all married so I declined.

Sorry to hear that Sassy and 314 are leaving this thread for the time being. Your valuable input will be missed and I hope that you return soon.

Sorry, good luck to anna as well! I can't keep up with this thread.

He was nice, we got on really well, lots in common but it all lacked passion, you know? I didn't want to sink my teeth into him.

Even if I don't see him again as a date I'll see him again through the group we met in. He could be a slow burner I suppose.

I'm going back to lurking but good luck everyone.
Remember, it's a jungle out there