Spring has sprung and the sap is rising! It's Dating Thread 104

[IToldYouIWasFreaky]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

My absolute is due soon too, Sassy my ex decided right at the last minute to seek legal advice - haha!! But hopefully it'll be done pretty soon.

314 did you go to that lecture? I hope so and I hope you had a brilliant and soul-nourishing day.

Lana get well soon.

Meg what's changed?

Freaky glad you can toy with MrEloquent. Remember Cufflinks? That was fun!!! It was!! Just don't meet them is all!

I'm off now on my Twix date.... Hard to imagine being more excited!! See y'all later!

Have a lovely time Handy!
After my busy time yesterday, everyone's gone quiet...fuckers! Think I might turn my phone off a read a book. That'll show 'em!

Sneaks in and sits on the swoon bench
Marvel iron is so good! Had a few dates now and they are brilliant comfortable no awkwardness.
Saying that i seem to have attracted a stalker who initially said he wanted to take things slowly then made me a spotify playlist the next day he is way over the top and i need to block him as he isnt getting the message. Not sure he is ready for another relationship still broken from the last one.

Hi everyone!

Freaky good work cultivating new irons, either they'll get messaging again or I'm sure new irons will be along soon. I can't believe its such slim pickings in Reading, I was feeling sorry for myself living on the coast, half my tinder radius was the sea!

I'm allowing myself a little swooning for Leicester , we have texted more today and we will likely speak on the phone tomorrow.

barb definitely forget him now. He may surprise you by contacting you again after his holiday but I'd get a head start now in case he doesn't and just start to move on. Get new irons and get busy.

Handy enjoy your Tuesday Twix fix .

muddling marvel iron sounds brilliant, I'm really happy for you and the way things are going.

Slow seeing how things go sounds good, other longer term conversations can come later.

what good work with your irons and dates!

Your all right I'm getting myself some new irons!

I uploaded a bikini shot on POF (something I would never normally do) but hey I have had 27 messages in a hour 😂 Ok prob not the type of men um trying to attract but who cares it's keeping me busy, I will be removing the picture by tomorrow! Though chatting to s local 33 year old, very cute and so so funny but it just feels far to young for my 36 years

Then I went on tinder and just sent hi messages to all my matches that I never bothered with and getting lots of replies there!

It will keep me busy for a while

Excellent barb good work!

Yep so after everything he said on Sunday night he's now backed off again. I can just tell. I've really had enough now.

marvel that all sounds pretty awesome! and ditto DrFox

I think I'm pulling back a bit from IndieBoy. He is still very lovely, but meeting up is just so freaking complicated. I think he's just a bit shit at planning. But I feel like saying to him - I'm the bloody single mum here, and I can arrange stuff! Just a bit fed up really.

Evening all

Just going to repost a thread I made :

I'm ready to start dating again after my divorce, but am getting nowhere fast! Many reasons behind it

Work from home 9/10 so rarely meet anyone new
Hardly any single male friends /friends of friends
Naturally introverted and not great at selling myself

So! I set up a profile on tinder first, only ever had contact from weirdos! Deleted that and created an account on POF, the only guys who contact me are oddballs / pervs - so far! I've been through tonight and updated my profile a bit which I hope will help.

I also went to a local singles night last month, which was ace fun - but I was so nervous I just made a dick of myself mostly!

Any advice from seasoned pros would be welcome! I've never really done the 'dating' thing. My ex-husband was originally a friend made at a hobby. I no longer have time for hobbies!

Thanks in advance!

Thanks Sky I'm trying to remain as normal as I can while swooning. At the back of my mind is the thought it could go wrong. But when he texts or rings it means I'm pleasantly surprised!

Meg this was MrFit's last chance wasn't it? You back off as well now and concentrate on other irons, even if it is Robin that you're not sure about, and get busy. It really is the only way. What a knob for him to say he has been a dick before then start doing it again! Some men are so flaky.

Lecture really interrsting!1 so glad i went. Didnt really chat to anybody but im glad i went.. i do feel a bit empowered. Or something.. just, braver. Id like to hear that lecturer again.

OohMrDarcy I would consider giving tinder another go, I liked it as only the men you match with can send you messages. I had a few oddballs and marrieds but I much preferred it to OKC which I came off after 12hrs and has put me off other sites like match and POF for life! And I think my ex is on those anyway.

314 that's good to hear

I've been lurking but I'm just jumping in to say I have a coffee date with Bad Timing Man on Saturday.
He is someone I met IRL.

It's still bad timing and I'm still not feeling it not at all my work situation is still dire but I'm going because I feel I should. I'm likely to bump into him again so if I don't go out with him it will be awkward next time.

My good wishes to all of you.

Thanks FoxTrot I need someone to talk sense into me! My head knows I need to back away from him. I'm only going to get hurt here.

I would like to give Robin a second chance. My STBXH I didn't fancy at all when I first met him, but over time I fell for his personality rather than his looks. So I do think some men may be worth a second chance. But he's very nice so I would hate to lead him along.

Morning all!

Just checking in post-Twix and pre- work....

So it just gets more and more lovely (virtual vomit bags on offer for those who need). Very special. Twix completely floored me by checking in with me and asking whether I feel comfortable around him(! I think that's a big thing for him - he says he is comfortable around me - sounds really stupid, haha what a weird, kooky pair we are) and whether I'm ok with our once a week thing. Very sweet and completely unexpected for me to hear him start an 'us' conversation. I told him very honestly that while I'd love to see him a little bit more I'm also fine with how things are because we are both equally busy with work/life commitments etc. And we talked about our weekends synching up again and he talked about coming over to mine more.

Anyway I think bank hol weekend we will potentially get 2 whole days and nights together (his work permitting) and he said he had been thinking about it and thought we could go away camping.

OMG I think we are a thing

OMG.......... OMG!!!!!!!!

Very grinny today.

Aww Handy! No vomit, that's lovely! ❤️

OK, I've readded Tinder and am being far more selective about who gets a tick....

Handy that sounds lovely!

Aw Handy! Bless Twixipoo! That's all properly lovely and not vomitty at all.

Tanya Hope you're doing OK lovely!

Oooh Hi! I say don't be selective with ticks, like away but do be selective about continuing conversations. Nothing wrong with unmatching if the conversation is going nowhere (though it's bloody annoying when it happens to me!)

Barb Good work on the irons! And re the bikini shot gaining lots of messages. I'd try that if a) I was thinner and b) bloody PoF would let me recreate an account...grrr

Well, tried to initiate a conversation with Penpal last night and it wasn't really happening, and he was online on WhatsApp so clearly talking to someone else. Fair enough! Convo has been archived. If he pops up again, I'll chat to him, but he's been downgraded to "non-iron"
And nothing from Doofus for the past couple of days either. Why do they always go from really keen to really quiet once a date is set up!? We've barely chatted really and I'd ideally like to get to know him a bit more before meeting on Sat. Bit worried he might be a complete weirdo and then we're stuck in the cinema together for 2 hours! Still, it's possible to ignore someone in the cinema, right?! I'll message him later this evening and check he's still on for it.

What are you meant to write in your profile!?

itold... is it a first date in the cinema? Who's idea was that?

Omg I have a date in 3 hrs how did that happen?? Feels very odd as after car man I swore I wouldn't do it again any time soon. But somehow this one sneaked under the radar with little messages and suddenly were having coffee. I don't even know what he looks like as I've deleted my match profile so can't check him out....arghhhh

Yes, cinema first date! His idea, obvs. We are both Marvel fans and he suggested gong to see the new XMen film this week. I was a bit reluctant but he was persistent and I do want to see it so thought it was worth a go...better than sitting in by myself on a Saturday night. Ah well, it'll be fine..what's the worst that can happen?

Good luck what!

at least you'll like the film! Hope you get a chance to chat too at some point?!

lucky thing what! Enjoy

Happy hump day everyone!

I have been out of action for the past day due to lots of meetings at work... so I will TRY and catch up with everything!

Freaky - Yes I find I message first and get radio silence. Also - good work on taking control of the conversation with E, particularly if he has expressed he DWAR (I can't remember the story with him, sorry!). I agree with Sassy, they do come back, and it can be hard to remember the rules when they are on a charm offensive.

rabbit - You are right, I have sent a few breezy texts to YPT, where I don't really prompt too much discussion (but enough content for HIM to prompt it if he wishes), and it fizzles. So... I have my answer. It is in stark contrast to Dom, who literally is happy to chat away and keep conversation going - all vchatty and friendly, but it is nice. If I could just combine Dom and YPT... sigh!

As for the POF weirdo - Block!! What is it with some people? Tinder has those too, but not so many!

Barb - sorry to hear about the non response to your text, but I would be cautious to double text in future. You put yourself out there, let them do the leg work back - effort should be a two way street.

Oooh - I agree you have nothing to lose by trying Tinder again! I tend to be more open about who I swipe right for, but more picky about the types of conversation I wish to hold. Good luck!

Meg - Sorry to hear you feel he is pulling back. If that is the case, I think cold turkey would be best, for your own sanity!

Waving and Tulip - sorry to hear of your nightmare exs, I hope the situations ease soon.

Jaffa -I understand people being busy, but people that want to make time for you will do, even if it is weeks in the future. My spidey senses would be tingling.
There is a MH video somewhere about guys who text, but don't make firm plans, or skirt around it (in MH words - Flaky!)... Worth a watch as he comes up with some great replies and if I were you, should he keep dragging things out, I would put some of them into action, or just not bother continuing with pursuing, depending on your previous history/contact.

Is this Amy Young the female equivalent of MH? I will check her out!