Spring has sprung and the sap is rising! It's Dating Thread 104

[IToldYouIWasFreaky]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

Meg - I am not familiar with your situation with MrFit but just tread carefully and keep your wits about you if he has already pulled the rug from under you once. What was the situation previously?

Waving - Not yet, as I have a busy week at work and am (hopefully) exchanging and completing on my new house this week or next, so at the moment, my life is work, gym, and sorting final bits for it. I will call him Dom though (we bonded over a love of dominoes as a conversation starter and then spent the rest of the night chatting about everything and anything!). I may suggest a drink in a week or two :)

I saw YPT this morning. He was working, and as always he came over to chat to my friend and I whilst we trained. When I got to work, I had a text from him, referring to a message I sent him on Saturday. Either way though, it was a very naff effort on his part to strike up conversation by text, because after my initial response, his next message was half arsed.... I am however remaining strong that I am happy to flirt and chat but unless he steps up it will remain just that! In those situations, do I respond as I normally would to a friend, or do I just not bother?

Waving - Glad things are ok with MTG and all seems ok for now! EEEKKK that he is meeting your mother! Do you have anything planned?

New mantra - WE ARE THE PRIZE

Morning all!

Will update properly later but two bits of news from me

1. I seem to have acquired an iron and a date. He's from Tinder....the one that wanted to go and see X Men with me. I was feeling a bit meh as we'd only exchanged a few messages and he's in London and I just wasn't feeling it. But then he messaged me again when I was out on Saturday night getting bladdered with my BFF and there was a little exchange of drunk messages which he seemed to find funny and endearing. And he seems keen and sweet and is prepared to come to Reading on Saturday night so yeah, I have a date. Zero emotional involvement. I'm getting more of a friend vibe off him but that's we'll see. I'm not even going to name him until after Sat.

2. I am a fat fingered idiot that should probably stay far far away from Tinder because when I was swiping yesterday, I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED BACON!!! I was a little taken aback to see him back on there, went to look at his profile and managed to swipe up. What a twat! I have deleted and reinstalled my account to prevent him liking me back (although chances of that are minimal...) but still, damage is done. God knows what he thinks now.

Oh, and also, I was superliked this morning but I don't know who by. I got the notification on my phone, went into Tinder via it but it just launched Tinder, and didn't show me who the superlike was from. Is there any way of finding out?

Waving - I think a meal at home is nice, it is relaxed and informal, and I am sure it will all go great! At least you can keep mum happy too! :)

What is breezy?! Most our texts are fairly jokey and casual anyway, but it is hard to gauge whether or not he wants a response sometimes, if that makes sense?! We don't text loads, we send at most a few a day, so it certainly isn't overkill either. I guess this is where the age difference shows too. sigh.

Freaky - Good luck with the date on Saturday! How far is he from you in Reading?
Whoops regarding Superliking! I know I have done it before when I have lazily swiped left and swiped up instead! I wouldn't even let it phase you. As for the superlike you can't find - usually it shows up in your potential list at some point- so if you get a superlike from someone, the persons profile will show with blue around it and then you can choose to swipe left or right like normal? At least that is how it appears on my phone, unless there has been an update I have not installed!

Oh god the the superliking, Freaky - blooming Tinder swipe fail. Oh who cares what he thinks. And yet for having a no-overthinking date. does ya good!

Waving eek re your mother! Eeeek!! And breathe.... re Twix and me we aren't adding our kids into the mix (lonnngg way off doing that) and our kid weekends are out of sync til after half term.

Where is tanya?

handy I know you right and I am trying my hardest not to just think the worst.

waving he isn't back till Saturday our date is Sunday, I wouldn't worry as much except for the fact that he dudnt acknowledge my text I sent him Saturday morning that's just ringing alarm bells with me I guess, maybe he decided against it as I have 4 kids.... Didn't seem fazed when I told him as his sister is a single mum to 3 and I get plenty of free time to date.

freaky I'm in reading to, we could be talking/dating the same men

Waving Yeah, is a bit So bloody typical of me! I accidentally sent a FB friend request to Mr2015 half an hour before our first date... Technology is not my friend sometimes...
MTG sounds like a goodun. I'm sure things will settle down once he develops his own social network and if he's an extrovert that shouldn't take long. Good luck with the family this weekend...drink as much gin as you need!

Handy Ha to meditating through it! It's so helpful for so many things though isn't it? Says she who hasn't actually meditated in over a month... Once a week is a looong time to go between dates though, I hope your weekends sync up soon.

misszp Thank you! I will keep my eye out for any blue highlighting. Re YPT, I'd do a smiley face reply. Friendly, acknowledges the message but there's a clear undertone of "step up your game"
My Saturday Date lives in North London..bit of a trek from here, I reckon about an hour and 40 mins by either car or train. He seemed happy enough to drive over though, so we'll see.
And yeah, tons of matching and not talking on Tinder. It drives me nuts! I message first lots and still, they don't respond. What's the bloody point?

Dating Hello fellow 'Dinger! What age range are you looking at? We could well be crossing over a bit! I can give you some pointers of who to avoid...mind you the last few men I've dated have not lived in Reading anyway. Beginning to think that there are NO decent men here at all, hence widening the net to London.
I really wouldn't worry about the non-response to your text whilst he's on holiday. You have the 2nd date set up, he was texting consistently before then, these are GOOD signs. I stayed with my bro (30s, single, dating) a couple of weeks ago for the weekend and he was totally switched off from dating while we were there. Not in a bad way, just because he was focused on having a family weekend with his kids etc. I think that's quite common for me, until they are actually in a proper relationship, they find it easier to switch off?

Lana Sorry about your date and that you are not feeling well . Are you going to respond to his text?

Foxtrot I hope you can work things out with Leicester. It's good that you recognse it as a potential pink flag!

Oh freaky
You didnt have to de-reg and re-reg tho!!

waving tell your mum that if she's not nice to mtg she's going in a home. With shit food. No sea view.

After meeting your sister he's a brave man!! It all sounds good with you two.. !

handy do you feel introductions to children are still a long way off?? You could see more of each other if so. Sorry if u have explained this upthread

Thank you Freaky I'll reply later with a 'Nice to meet you but given you live a four hour drive away and don't actually have firm plans to move here it's best we leave it there' type message... I have never intentionally super-liked but have done it accidentally far too many times - worse when their first message asks if it was an accident

I agree barb to leave it and see if he's back in touch when he gets home and good luck Waving with the meal, gin is always the answer!

To clarify. I didn't mean I am enjoying the incidental weight-loss I meant I am enjoying me & Twix (!!)

I think we both feel we would be better to wait much longer before introducing each other to our kids. At the moment we are only just getting to know each other. I think that's just our personalities as people and parents. And it makes sense with the way we are both a bit guarded and stuff. I love the slow, unfoldingness of it. Just that my levels of smitten-ness means a week is Really Bloody Hard to get through.. So nothing to do but wait. After half term we'll be able to see each other twice a week EOW plus we'll spend all of Bank Hol Sunday together..

I did 314! Partly to stop him matching with me and partly so I could see his profile (you can't view once you've swiped right, unless you match). Anyway his new profile does not say he wants a relationship but does say he is honest and "drama free". Hmmm....chinny reckon!

hahaha honest and drama free!!! Hahahaha!!!

freaky I'm 36 so looking at 35-44 ish.

Current iron (the one in this thread) is from Alyesbury..... You had a 37 year from there who you could warn me on

Other than that had a 40 year old from farnborough and a 41 year old from hungerford.

My friend had a cracker from Windsor though, they didn't even meet and apprently he went and had the snip because she said she wouldn't have more kids...... I think she had a lucky escape there

Drama free! Oh that makes my blood boil! From now on, we all just know that drama free means ''don't call me out on my shabby behaviour''. You know who else has ''the less drama the better'' on his profile??

Just watch out for 43 year olds from Aylesbury is all I'm saying...
It does prove that there are no decent men in Reading though...

Yeah 314, drama free, as in I will just cut and run if things look in any way tricky, like a woman expressing her opinion.

I've acquired another iron! Well kinda, he says he's too far away so I am totally bitching him and he loves it! Keeps coming back for more

314, non dating question..when you work out at home do you wear trainers? DS won't come running with me so I was going to do a YouTube workout but wearing trainers in my living room feels odd!

Aww Handy, no snickering, my absence isn't what you think. Had a lot of thinking to do, and a work event today.

Date with CM was nice, we had a nice chat and drinks before the film, but I became increasingly uncomfortable with how full on he was. Both in terms of what he was saying and the PDAs, fine with him saying he would come off OLD, but then he was talking about relationships and changing his FB status. We had food, then went back to his for a cup of tea. He barely left me alone during the date, and launched himself at me at his, too full on, pretty much biting my neck. He has never had a relationship over a few months and is fairly naive, and I just don't think I can do it.

I had a tearful chat with my ex about how simple things were when our relationship was in a good place. After my first date with CM, ex and I had sex for the first time in two years.

I'm tired, confused, have messaged CM to the effect that things were much too intense, and have been chatting with another iron today.

freaky I will be sure to notify you if I get such person from the Alyesbury area!

Totally agree there is just nothing in reading.... Maybe I'm to fussy but I refuse to even respond to a man that has a profile of selfies, topless poses, pant sorts or pictures of their cars

I'm feeling a little bit better about my current issue, caught up this arvo with my very level headed best friend and she honestly couldn't see what I was worried about, said as far as she could see date was still on and she wouldn't expect any contact while he was out the country after one date! She didn't think it was strange he didn't respond to my text as it wasn't question/something that required a response, said he prob read it and thought maybe he would respond later then forgot.

Like she said everything about the date was positive if he was just being polite he would of just said he would call not arrange a date and time

Hi, struggling to keep up with this thread, so apologies if I look like I'm ignoring - mostly I'm reading agog about the horrors of OLD !
freaky ooh bloody hell !
misszp just chatty cool I reckon? If he wants to ramp it up, leave the ball in his court?
waving that all sounds wonderfully positive! Yay!

I'm about to block my first weirdo on POF. He's. Just. Relentless. I say I'm off the the gym, and 2 hours later I have 5 messages - do you like the gym, how long do you go for, do you exercise a lot, are you still there, are you not talking to me?? Bloody hell ! It is the done thing to block isn't it??

Oh tanya that's totally confusing. But you know how it is with your ex. Remember your ex is only offering a 'rinse and repeat' scenario. Poor you How horribly uncomfortable with CM. He sounds pretty immature where relationships are concerned. What a disappointment after last week. So sorry you are feeling like this today. Look after yourself lovely lady.

Skyrabbit yes life's too short. I might tell the guy I don't want to talk to him anymore, that I'm not looking for a five messages per hour man.... But then I might block anyway. Ha!

Freaky yes i do wear trainers. Im at my first yoga class now. Waiting to register. I suggested monday to con amd he let me slip thru his fingers so yoga it is. Class from 7.30-8.45

Evening everyone!

handy lovely how you manage to stay ok with the slow unfolding of you and twix when you are smitten. I was going to be another one asking why you only see each other on a Tuesday but I'm so glad to see you will soon be getting more time together! Be good to see how it unfolds from then onwards!

waving lovely to see you back in your bubble, long may it continue! He's a goodun coming to support you with your mum and sister. My own parents and sister are pretty toxic and would make comments like yours so I totally get it.
My lovely new iron is called vampire btw, thank you for asking it's only been 2 weeks today since we started chatting and we've managed 3 dates in that time which have all been pretty perfect. Trying my very best to keep it casual and not over invest, but he's just lovely so far obviously and I'm terrible for getting swept away! Busy watching MH and Amy Young videos and waiting for him to ask for date 4 this stuff is SO DAMN HARD to get right!!

Go freaky your faux pas is exactly the sort of thing I'd do, I'm a fellow butterfingers and klutz! Funny you and dating barb talking about Reading as I'm a third person in this area, but my vampire is local and so far he seems normal and nice! famous last words

dating barb well done on the new frame of mind, but I hope he gets in touch soon!

314 any job news or have I missed it? And how's the irons coming along?

bant where are you and how was your weekend!! Hoping for a happy update soon!

skyrabbit block away that's weird!

Aw thanks last - Twix might be v busy with work soon. I am wondering if he will actually end up working bank hol weekend. I'll be watching closely to see how he manages to juggle me and his work... watch this space. Because if the bank hol Sunday falls through I'll be mighty miffed...