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Original poster

Spring has sprung and the sap is rising! It's Dating Thread 104

997 replies

IToldYouIWasFreaky · 04/05/2016 10:45

The Rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP
OP posts:
ThisIsTheRightTime · 14/05/2016 18:41

Snap, Jollyphonics. I totally respect others' way of dating, obviously. I just can't get into the OLD thing. I prefer to leave fate with a hefty dose of keeping my eyes open to do its work.

You can quote me on this in a few months/years time when I'm pulling my hair out. Wink

Help201602 · 14/05/2016 19:58

Exactly jolly 20 minutes til our date and he's still online on dating site!!!!! Looking for a better offer??? He better turn up lol. I don't find it acceptable either!!!!

ThisIsTheRightTime · 14/05/2016 20:07

OMG! Well, at least it'll give you something to talk about during your date Help201602 Hmm

SoThatHappened · 14/05/2016 20:21

Thisistherighttime His headline on his dating profile was 40 never married and no children.....

So i said back to him no wonder that is the case with you, if this is how you behave.

Oh well. Perhaps should have ignored.

ThisIsTheRightTime · 14/05/2016 20:33

You did what you had to do SoThatHappened. I think your remark was pertinent. He's not worth losing any sleep over; am I right?

An uncle of mine taught me years ago, when I found out that the man I'd been with for two years had had a double life, that indifference was the greatest insult.

I've practised that a lot over the past year with my future ex-husband.

SoThatHappened · 14/05/2016 21:20

He's an arse ThisIs.

indifference was the greatest insult.

You are absolutely right. Not caring is the best way.

ThisIsTheRightTime · 14/05/2016 21:39

It's a win win SoThatHappened. You feel good because you stay in control and don't demean yourself and often the object of your indifference is driven insane by your complete lack of interest.

But feel free to vent with anybody else! It's essential for your sanity.

Datingbarb · 14/05/2016 22:20

GOD IM SUCH A DICK!!!

Despite the advice I got here this morning I texted my iron just saying "hey hope the sun is shining for you" (during our amazing first date we had joked about the weather) and now 10 hours later still no reply despite him being online every few hours and tinder has his distance is over 5000miles away

I was on such a high after our date on thurs, he arranged second date for the day after he arrived home (next weekend) he texted me 45 mins after date checking I got home and to thank for me allowing him to take me out and saying what a great time he had! I wasn't really expecting any contact yeatserday as he was traveling but did think because we have had daily contact for last 2 weeks I would of got a little message or at least a reply.

Dating is just so hard, one minute things seem great then the next your left feeling uncertain and shitty Sad

WhatAm1doing · 14/05/2016 22:57

Oh datingbarb I'm not as experienced as many on this thread but I just want to say your not a dick! He is. ..

ThisIsTheRightTime · 14/05/2016 23:15

I'm perfectly certain you are not a dick Datingbarb. Just to let you know you are not alone.

Datingbarb · 15/05/2016 05:30

Well I figure that's the end of that! Am I not right in thinking a man who was intrested what of at least dropped a text by now?

How the hell do you go from one fantastic date, arrange the next one halfway through the first (all his doing) and lovely follow up text to nothing?

I actually don't understand, if this is what happens even after a brilliant first date then I'm not sure I can deal with it

lastnicknamefree · 15/05/2016 06:49

datingbarb don't lose hope or write it off yet, if you have spa date booked in its likely he is just in maintenance mode and will get back to where you left off when he gets back. Just keep busy, distant yourself and don't message him again. Fingers crossed but my guess is that he will get back in touch as before nearer to your date!

So how did last nights dates go for those who were out? I seem to remember there being a few, myself included!

My date number 3 was bloody lovely! Up until now I hadn't really allowed myself to think anything positive and just expected the worse every time. When we arranged our first date I half expected him to cancel on the day, I've had it twice before from OLD recently. Then I expected not to fancy him so I was really shocked in a nice way when I first saw him and thought he was gorgeous. Second date I spent all day waiting for him to say he couldn't make it I actually didn't get ready until the last minute! Thought he would bail when I told him exactly how many kids I have and their ages, have pushed him away, been a sarcastic bitch to him, and expected nothing. But the man is still here (literally he's asleep in my bed right now!) so I'm going to give in and accept he does actually like me and is still interested after 3 amazing dates and him tolerating my insecurities and mad family life! May have to let a few bricks down from my wall and actually allow myself to invest a tiny bit now.
Early days still and scary shit having feelings
tries hard to rein it in and remember I've only "known" this dude 2 weeks

Datingbarb · 15/05/2016 07:56

last thank you Flowers

Is just so hard, and maybe I am reading to much into it, in the lead up to your date we did message everyday, not loads but always just a message in evening! On our date we spoke about how busy he is at work and he did say to me if I don't text you straight back please don't think I'm ignoring you, works very busy and I don't make personal call etc.

I must admit I was worried that having 4 kids may scare him off but he didn't seem fazed at all and was just like " fair play to you my sister is a single mum to 3"

This holiday he is on is a networking holiday and he is with 40 of his staff and we are not in a relationship so guess maybe it actually means nothing and he is looking forward to the date when he gets home.

I just would of thought I would of at least got a reply to the joke weather text I sent him

I have a busy day get denting and jetwashing so will leave my phone well away

It's just hard to to feel ignored and blown out though he was online regularly throughout the day so could of easily just responded! What's so is the work of the devil Angry

Datingbarb · 15/05/2016 07:58

Also well done on your date last that all sounds great

tanyadm · 15/05/2016 07:59

So happy for you Last! It just goes to show how OLD just takes time, patience, a thick skin and meeting the right one. Smile

Jollyphonics · 15/05/2016 08:04

Barb with friends I reply to texts instantly. With people I'm dating I don't always, and I sometimes leave it several hours. The only reason for this is that I want to get it right, say the right thing, and banging out a random text while I'm surrounded by people talking to me etc is not something I would do. If anything, the longer I leave it the keaner I am!

Help201602 · 15/05/2016 08:17

Morning, I feel rough and off to work in a min. 1st date went ok. I think I drank to much, we laughed and had a snog at the end, from what I remember the snog was awkward, no massive sparks! He messaged saying he had a good time and wants to see me again!

HandyWoman · 15/05/2016 09:17

barb don't panic hun, the number of texts I'd be expecting from a man I'd met once who is on holiday with 40 work colleagues is zero

You have date two organised, so it's fine. He may have been Whatsapping his mum! Who knows? Many guys go into maintenance mode when a date is fixed anyway.

Yey for last Grin good for you!!

Help your date sounds, okay - perhaps a second date is worth a go?

Was Curlymuso date last night? Am confused..

And............ Foxtrot - am looking forward to your update!

Tee hee!!

lastnicknamefree · 15/05/2016 09:22

On the Whatsapp thing, I felt the same when vampire hasn't responded to mine yet had been online a few times. You worry they are taking to other girls maybe or chatting away but ignoring you. But this morning I saw the reality of it, which was he had a ton of joke messages and meme sent to him in the night from his 2 nephews who are 18 and 20. He clicked on to briefly open them but didn't reply. Yet it would still have shown him online even though he was defiantly NOT responding or chatting to anyone! Hope that helps

tanyadm · 15/05/2016 09:50

CM date is today, he had his band's gig last night. Going to get ready soon.

314inTheSkye · 15/05/2016 10:05

sothathappened he sounds a dickhead! I think the answer to that is

"Likewise"

MegFlyAway2 · 15/05/2016 10:11

So first date with Robin today. Hopefully. We have a lot in common so I'm hoping I fancy him. I'm a bit worried I won't fancy him! But ah well.

HandyWoman · 15/05/2016 11:27

Oh have a great time Meg and tanya - enjoy!

tanyadm · 15/05/2016 11:59

We've arranged a fourth date for Wednesday before we've even met for our third..:

HandyWoman · 15/05/2016 12:02

tanya you guys are cute! Update later purlease...