Spring has sprung and the sap is rising! It's Dating Thread 104

[IToldYouIWasFreaky]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

Ok. She got in touch with me, we talked. We talked more. She was funny and clever and apologetic for being weird about the future, and about planning too much or too little and said she had overthought and what we have isn't perfect but it's better than anything she'd had before with anyone. And it's really the same for me.

I'm still in love with her. And I know that if I date and meet someone else, I'd compare them to her and I can't believe anyone would be better for me, or would make me happier.

So while we haven't resolved the distance thing, we're going to try to not think about it too much and concentrate on being happy when we're together. Life isn't simple when you're divorced with kids. She's less stressed now she's through nicotine withdrawal, which took her a couple of months. I'm less stressed now I'm settling into my new job. Maybe it has a chance.

Plus, we had a video chat and I remembered how much I bloody fancy her. I'm shallow like that.

That is brilliant then Bant. You'll get around the distance thing. You don't have to be together all the time. Being together some of the time and knowing that the other person is thinking of you as well as getting on with their own life is nice!

I know what you mean about comparing.....

But, Monday evening with Con48, and Mad Yolo guy too wants to meet. He's no kids either. fgs! why can't I connect with men with kids? anyway, I have MYG's number so I'll whatsapp him when I'm bored at work.

;-)

Who said that?! Employee of the Year 2016

That's brilliant bant and totally sounds doable! Bet you can't wait to see her again!

We have a weekend of talking and copious sex planned.

Loo update. I like. Amazing date 1.5.

Bant that is absolutely fantastic news I really hope you guys work out!

I know well the feeling of dating after a break up of comparing everyone you meet to the person you'd split with ,its not much fun at all its not really fair on the person you're meeting too. Anyways, between you and waving we will have a wedding soon:)

Reddish If you don't mind my input. I hate to say this I think you all ready have closure. The women has being super clear in she does not want the same thing as you. Trust me, I know what its like wanting someone that does not want you, its shit. I really, really think you should leave this and move on, the sooner you see it for what it is the sooner you can move on.

Oh, missed your update Sassy sound like you had a great time:)

Hi all again - this thread moves so fast and I can't keep up!! That's a good thing - lots of fun dating stories.

I had posted earlier about my OLD zero date with the man still in pain from his divorce (I'm 52 and he is 56 and divorced 2 yrs ago after 20 years - she left him). I had tried to scare him off with some of my red flags (I have a lovely and generous selection to chose from), but apparently didn't give him enough. He asked me out again and we are going to a proper dinner this weekend. I'll give him a 2nd chance.

Have several emails from other men, too.

I agree with ciao reddish :-/
She has been clear, so i was surprised to read your last post. I would leave it. You don't want to be remembered as a man who wouldnt get the message.

Bubbling up, lol at generous selection of red flags.!

Morning! Will catch up on thread later.

My date yesterday was FAB. We have tons in common and intellectually we spark, which is a huge turn on for me. Date 3 is being planned and at some point we're going to try and spend more time together....including overnight/ weekend (no pressure for DTD or anything though). It still feels remarkably angst free for me but here's something funny I wanted to share with you all.

I said to him that I am enjoying how easy/ natural it feels (regarding messaging). His response was the polar opposite. He said he's been constantly thinking/ overthinking his messaging. How much messaging is too much? If I don't reply (which I don't always straightaway) it's been causing him concern. It was a fascinating insight because he was totally honest about the messaging angst he has.

How can two people in the same convo have two totally different perceptions? I'm amazed. Here's my point. When some of us on this thread have angst and wonder what the person the other side of the convo is playing at, perhaps just perhaps, they, like me, are incredibly relaxed about it all. If he hadn't been completely honest, I would never have known.

Go figure.

Wow, sassy, is that cos he's keen(er) ?! It is weird though yes. I thought the non-angst thing was mutual.

My date with Con seems to have 90% planned and then he said ''Monday is too far away, let's see how it goes''. I'm going to think about that before I reply. It's actually a MASSIVE turn off. I like people who are capable of making a plan.

This is it.

Let's just keep in touch and see what happens.Next Monday is a bit far away to be making a plan for, I think....x

What a turn off.

I'm not going to reply. I just sighed massively when I read this as it gives quite a clear picture of the 'type' . The type who can't plan.

Refreshed and ever more smitten after another Twix date. He mentioned taking me out to the theatre if/when he gets given tickets through work for the job he is on. I think I might be a real life thing..!

Will check in properly with you all later... For now, all I can say is 314 YOLO - hahahahaha!!! Eek!!

And Soho heartbroken on BookFace - boak..

Laters all...

That sounds wonderful Handy.

314, next Monday is too far away to make a plan for? That's ridiculous and would definitely put me off him too.

sassy yay!! Sounds brilliant, and what a fascinating insight into the messaging there! You're at the same stage as me with vampire we have date 3 booked for Saturday

314 that would get on my nerves too! He needs to up his game or step aside!

handy hooray for the smitten bench! So twixy poo has definitely been a slow burner but is now smoking hot! Good stuff, love your happy posts

Have a good Wednesday all! And happy birthday to freaky too

Thanks last! Yup, it's my birthday. The first birthday message I got today was on Tinder from the guy I superliked, which I thought was pretty funny! Then there was a hot guy on my bus to work (this never happens!) which brightened my morning. Caught his eye a couple of times but he legged it towards the station as soon as the bus pulled in...sigh.
Anyway, in honour of my birthday, here's a song about unrequited love from my favourite guys...

Bant Yay! That is good news. And not shallow at all to remember how much you fancy her.

314 That lack of planning would irritate the hell out of me. What's wrong with suggesting a time and place to meet now?

Sassy Great news about the date and interesting about the messaging. I've always supposed that when I am relaxed about the messaging (it happens sometimes!) then the other party will be too.

Handy Lovely news about the theatre! Coming out of the bubble!

Reddish Ha! Is that a hint?! Let me have your number and I'll chuck any dick pics your way...

Foxtrot LOVE THIS These men don't know high value when it smacks them on the arse

Hope you got that job 314
And lol yr comment up thread re Soho :)

Jaffa - definitely don't epitomize someone or have any expectations until you have met them. I would however just enjoy the messaging and see where it heads. If something comes of it and you meet, then great, and if not, then no loss. I have done the over investing thing too, but have slowly learned to have the attitude of 'what will be will be'. Actually that attitude counts in RL too!

314 - I don't know your whole situation, but seconding what reddish said based on your last few posts!

Slow - are you going to have the conversation with him?

Sorry anyone I have missed I am catching up!

I have cooled two of my irons off - MIC and 82. I don't see either going anywhere, but am happy to remain friends. There is zero chemistry with 82, so I don't see the point of even allowing in to be a 'right now' situation and MIC is just too far. It just wouldn't be a priority - which probably means I am not interested enough anyway.
As for my RL irons, I still am gagging to bump into YPT in the gym to strike up a conversation again. I am totally browsing some MH on lunch, and reminding myself to not let him take up brain space - he is just so pretty though!

Oh and Happy Birthday Freaky!

Yes, happy birthday Freaky! Have some more .
And better luck on the bus going home!

Anyone else having trouble with PoF? I stupidly deleted my account rather than just hiding it and now I am trying to recreate. I have done it a couple of times but my profile disappears! Can't log in, if I do a "I forgot my password" thing, it days my email is not registered... So frustrating!

Happy Birthday freaky! I think your account problem is related to your IP am not sure why your particular IP would be blocked if you happen to use a VPN or proxies including Hola you'll find yourself unable to register on that site.

Happy birthday Freaky