Spring has sprung and the sap is rising! It's Dating Thread 104

[IToldYouIWasFreaky]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

Really pissed off. Been seeing a really nice guy - had 4th date at his house, cooked me a lovely dinner and we went to bed, we didn't have sex but did other stuff, kept telling me I'm lovely.
Today I can see he's back on okcupid . (I have a stealth profile).Should I cut my losses, try to talk to him about it, or what?

An update from me!

It's been over a week and I haven't heard anything from MrFit I keep reminding myself this tells me everything!

In the mean time in the past few days I have gained a new iron! I am meeting him tomorrow for a coffee. I will call him Robin.

I need all your advice. He's suggested me going through to him for a coffee/drink then maybe a walk in the nature reserve with his camera (he loves taking photos of nature). On one hand I'm thinking how lovely! But the other hand I'm thinking this is a zeroith date. Plus a walk in some woods?!

Omg date 2 was just perfect and we kissed he has the softest lips ever!! Date 3 is on thursday and date 4 on friday we will get to the cinema

Really pissed off. Been seeing a really nice guy - had 4th date at his house, cooked me a lovely dinner and we went to bed, we didn't have sex but did other stuff, kept telling me I'm lovely, seems really in to me, didn't pressure me for sex at all.
Today I can see he's back on okcupid . (I have a stealth profile) Should I cut my losses, try to talk to him about it, or what?

muddling nice one! Fast progress!

Slow have you had the exclusive convo?

Meg absolutely do NOT do zeroth date in woods. Quick coffee with time limit in case you don't like him!!

314yes that is likely to be what he was trying to have me do. It so out of character for me that it did not even register with me hehe. I am not chasing him down!

Meg nope, nope, NOPE to "woods date" doubled with "coffee at his place". Zeroth date has to be public! I am sorry but robbing a bank with Robin sounds a lot safer than the current plan! Good riddance re MrFit.

Slow if you have not had the exclusivity talk yet, it is annoying but it is fairly normal. It absolutely does not mean he does not like you.

Yay muddling!

Last I regularly go to festivals too and like ocelot I find there are lots of kids there with their special noise-blocking headphones on.

Oh yes Meg I missed that bit. Coffee in a public place always.

Morning all

Missed loads yesterday!

314 best of luck today! Your posts are epic! Re bear, I don't think this is about you. It never is. Don't think that.

po are things back to normal with your iron? Is keep a dose of healthy scepticism this early on. Helps protect you.

handy omg, missed HUGE news! Glad it went ok yesterday. Sorry for the scare.

Welcome misszp. Nice ironmongery!

last nice loo update! Has he been in touch?

muddling another good loo update!

fox, I think you sound in a good place. Have other irons. See apple for sure, but be cautious. Yay to loo update!

anna, keep us updated!

jollyx say the word! I am totally serious. Unless you are young, hot and pert in which case you're on your own! . I'd love to meet up. Tell me if you PM me with your deets when you're ready and we can swap numbers.

waving how goes it all??

slow is normal form unless you've had the exclusive convo.

Wow mammoth post!

My little update.

mrcalm date is tonight. We've been messaging consistently. It feels entirely normal, not OTT and no thoughts in my mind of should I wait to reply etc. Now I know this is possible, this is going to be what I expect with other people.

mrfrench and I will see one another next week.

reallife has disappeared again. My friend described him as meerkat like. I tend to agree. I'm one of many he is trying to simmer so his efforts come with ebbs and flows and he so he appears / disappears accordingly. He's firmly off the irons bench.

Right, off to work. Have super awesome dates all. Sorry to anyone I missed

Nice to see the thread busy again!

slow am in the exact same stage as you with a new iron, things seem to be going as well as they could possibly do after only a few dates, plus we've DTD but yes he's still been on OKC. I'm not letting it bother me, it could be a couple of very innocent reasons, 1 being he could actually just be doing the same as you...checking to see if YOURE on there, and it might be that he's getting messages in his inbox and of course he's going to read them? Maybe time to think about having "that" chat, it's too early for me but I will do after dates 5 or so, if there is one!

meg well done on the new iron after the other one has gone off radar, I second what the others have said. Meet for coffee in a public place for date zero. Enjoy and do update us!

muddling ooh date 2 sounds lush! Good kissing is the best, is this the first time you've kissed? Nothing like when you first kiss some one and they are really good and it's just .....swoon! Roll on date 3, you have booked in 3 and 4 already? He must be keen that's really nice that you're not waiting for the text or call asking if you'd like to meet again. You can relax and enjoy your week knowing you have the next ones in the bag. Where are you going for No3?

jolly that's definately given me food for thought on the festivals. It does sound a bit more feasible that I first thought that I could actually join in with his "thing" except my son is very ummm "bouncy" naughty and I wouldn't want him being super annoying, I could see me spending the whole time running after him on my own!

sassy yes he was in touch next morning which is always a relief after you've DTD I've read so many crap stories recently I had half prepared myself that he would disappear the next day, so his nice (and very complimentary) messages were really welcome and had me
Good luck on your date tonight with mrcalm looking forward to your loo update! Where are you going?

Have a great Tuesday's daters!

Hey Tuesday daters!!

Have a good date with mrcalm Sassy, he sounds promising.... That's how Twix started out. With startlingly 'normal' relaxed messaging with no angst...

Hope the coffee date goes swimmingly with Robin, Meg

TWIX DAY for me Oh my goodness once a week is NOT enough. I actually live for Tuesdays. He is such a keen bean. I just can't think of anything nicer. At all. Roll on this evening...

Foxtrot I hope last night went really well?

Good luck 314 for today's interview.

Happy dating all!

Handy out of curiosity, has Twix abandoned his "let's see how it goes and go with the flow" attitude, or have you found a way to adjust to it? I may be in a similar situation.

Hey, not looking until after my interview, but maybemarried45 has just come back after a long break. And a new person too but I'm not going to check him out til later. At least though since I sorted out my filters, I know he'll be between 42 and 52.

Right I need to read over my notes now. I'm nervous.

Good luck with interview, pie!

jollyp with Twix it's 3 things I think:

1. he's not your average chap, he's bit quirky, as am I. normal rules do not apply, I've thrown the MH book out. Therefore, the angst is less.
2. I've learned a lot recently in therapy about my attachment style and allowed myself to hold back and feel secure at the same time
3. he's actually stepped up loads in the loveliest of ways and is showing me That he is definitely keen.

So now I'm delighted to be going with the flow and now actually want to stay in the bubble!! Am on cloud nine with minor levels of pining due to the once a week thing. But that will get better soon.

Happy Tuesday all...

I am not sure how you keep up with all of this! But I am reading it all and loving the updates :)

Slow - agree that is is frustrating but normal, unless you have had the exclusivity chat.

Muddling - first kisses are THE best when they are so good . I feel happy for you, because I think it is such a wonderful thing, it kind of secures the fact you do like each other. I had a great date with someone once. We kissed at the end of the night and it was clear we had zilch chemistry. If we had, I could have laughed it off, but I just felt mega awkward about it because I knew I did not want to try again!! Dammit, as he was a lovely guy.

314 - Trying to keep up, but I see you have interviews going on today... Good luck :)

Sassy - good luck with your date tonight!

All others... I am slowllyyyy catching up! It is a great read with my morning coffee at work (I shouldn't be logged on, but I can't resist!), hence dipping in and out of the thread, so apologies if I am always a few posts behind everyone else ha!

On another note, how do I strike up a conversation with YPT again after a few days of no talking? Or do I leave it and just wait until I bump into him again, which could be days, weeks or months, depending on his shifts!

Morning! I've not caught up properly, I'll read all the posts I've missed later.

The update is that Leicester is absolutely lovely and there was much snogging and other activity. I'm in danger of swooning. However I've been here before so I'm keeping myself grounded. He says he wants to see me again and there are plans to meet this weekend depending on children. But I'm not believing it until it actually happens, then I can't be disappointed!

Yay foxy swoon away, it's the happy and positive posts that make it worth carrying on when things are rubbish!
handy once a week is tough but nice to miss each other a little and I'm sure things will change soon! So glad it's going this week, it's been a few weeks now right? Getting interesting now and it's definitely a "thing"!!
314 good luck!

I have been offline for a few days so need to try and catch up on about 6 pages of posts, but good luck to all those who have had/going on dates tonight.

So my date is Thursday originally thought we would just be going to s pub so planned on wearing skinnys, nice too and heels but have found out today that we are in fact going to a very exclusive, posh hotel for dinner and drinks shock becsuse this is huge amount of effort for first meet! Now I'm stuck and have no idea with what to wear!

slow feel for you, but guess everyone is totally right if you haven't had the exclusive talk then you are both within your rights to keep dating others! But that's the bit in dreading to be honest when is the right time to be having that talk?

Thanks guys I did think a walk in the woods was a bit for a first meet! Trying to get him to travel to me instead as I'm actually quite busy today.

barb that sounds very fancy, especially for a first meet!

Handy glad things are going well with Twix, I hope you have a lovely time today!

Fox sounds like it's going well! Love hearing these kind of things.

Thanks last yep it's been 10weeks! We are s-l-o-w, but I love the slowness now (I didn't initially-how things change..) so much early loveliness to enjoy Who knew!!

Foxy what a great result, great attitude, great update.

to everyone else. I shouldn't be logging on either - busy day!

So the last 4 dates I've agreed to, with 3 different men, have been cancelled ON the day! I must attract them somehow?

Robin has rearranged for Sunday. Not holding out hope!

Hello all , gosh there's so much happening here, will try my best to keep up!

Jolly I'm sorry things didn't work out with Karmic, but at least you got closure and you can move on from the twunt. Well done on ignoring his 'woe is me I like you but don't know my head from my elbow' message. I agree with 314, sounds like he wanted you to try to convince him you were worth it.

Slow delete your stealth profile and don't talk to him about it. It's still super early in the relationship and unless you've had the exclusivity talk he's well within his rights to talk to/date other people, as shit as it may feel for you. Don't forget you are too though.

Handy sending positive thoughts your way!

Sassy All seems good and I'm back to feeling calm about us, but I'm trying not to get too comfortable. I've also hidden my 'last seen' on whatsapp and feel so much better for it, the constant checking up was not good for my sanity. Seeing him on Thursday so we'll have a talk about it all then, and then hopefully get back to kissing and, ahem, other things. God I've missed him .

Hope your date with mrcalm tonight goes well, looking forward to the update!

Meg Oh no that is shit, did he give any decent reason for cancelling?