Spring has sprung and the sap is rising! It's Dating Thread 104

[IToldYouIWasFreaky]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Read Why Men Love Bitches (aka WMLB), and take from it what you will. 12. Don't serve up moose burgers on the first date (although this is still in debate right now) 13. Matthew Hussey also very useful. And very easy on the eye even if you don't find him any good. 14. IF THEY SAY THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP, THEY DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP

Hope it goes well today Handy

Thanks everyone, tbh the fear only set in over the weekend and I worked the whole weekend. So not seen or spoken to people in My Actual Life.

last that sounds great, and most of all FUN! Fun Is important!!

Good luck handy!

So I promise to catch up with on the dating / situations of everyone else V shortly and to send some words of encouragement!

But just wanted to explain my situations and Irons too and have some input from this thread :)

I split from my partner of 6 years at the beginning of the year (horrid, but right decision), and since then I have delved into the world of OLD. It has been interesting, fun and sometimes frustrating. My confidence is finally recovering, and I am enjoying the freedom to just date and meet new people!

I have a few irons at the moment.

MIC- (aptly named after Made in Chelsea because he is from Chelsea). Met through Tinder. Clicked straight away. Extremely funny, amazing person, but lives over 3 hours away, with totally different life goals in mind, which means anything sustainable is just. not. possible. We sometimes have the chance to meet as he has family near to me, but I don't see it ever becoming anything more than it already is. We both know this.

82 - Met through Tinder, the numbers were in his username and I couldn't think of anything else to call him! We have had several dates. But after THE most awkward first kiss, I don't think we have the right chemistry. we can talk for hours and still do, but I have told him and he agrees that it won't go any further. I think I have made a firm friend in him.

YPT (Young Personal Trainer) - He is a RL guy and works in the gym I go to. He is however 5.5 years my junior... But we definitely bounce off each other, with similar interests, and a lot of flirty chemistry. He is TOTALLY the one I want to get to know. We have exchanged a many jokey/flirty texts, and we try to ensure we bump into each other in the gym, but he has gone a bit cold the last week (messy break up with ex, which he feels he needs to sort first, and I am happy to allow him to do so).

Cherry - (We dated for a few months and I took his V plates when we were 17, hence the nickname ). Another RL guy. We have always got on as friends, and contact has been on and off for the last 11 years or so. We always bump into each other through mutual friends parties. We caught up recently, and shamelessly revisited old territory after a few drinks and then hung out the rest of the weekend. We had SO much fun Whilst he won't ever be Mr Right, he certainly could be a Mr Right Now.

Other than those, I find OLD really hard. I use POF and Tinder, but there seems to be a bunch of weirdos on POF (cue the guy who said I look like a cute submissive and could he be my dominant ). And I have plenty of matches on tinder, but getting guys to message, or knowing what to say first? Another ball game, which I struggle with.

So my questions are: How do I rekindle the situation with YPT without treading on toes or coming across too cougar-esque? And is it wrong to get into a FWB situation Cherry? How many irons is too many?

Last - I haven't read your whole situation, but glad to read you had fun!!

Handy - I hope all is ok and also hope all goes ok today.

To the rest... I will catch up shortly

I'm leaving my reply until this evening because he's sent me a really long email to reply to so it will need a long, considered response.

I'm not doing a WMLB or MH thing. I'm just busy not with an amazing life. I wish.

I have been the opposite of MH etc with CurlyMuso.... So looking forward to Sunday. Luckily he has been the opposite of whoever is the dating guru for men!

Aw, that's lovely Tanya! Hope it goes well on Sunday.

Anna I agree with others that actually meeting someone in real life that you click with, fancy, fancies you etc etc is bloody rare and it would be a shame to let it slip by. But then, you know better than anyone what you are able or willing to deal with at the moment, so do whatever is right for you.

314 You will ace your interview. I just know it. Funny you saying that Bacon is like H as I now seemed to have bagged myself a Mad Tinder Guy. It'll probably go nowhere (so not really like Waving's lovely MTG) but I was chatting to a guy last night who does appear to be quite mad. But in a nice, funny way. Maybe there are only so many "types" out there?

last Great news about your date and your attitude continues to be PERFECT. Why don't you think it'll become a thing? Or are you just protecting yourself?

Handy Thank you! I do feel bounced back and verging on fabulous! It's weird, I think this whole thing with Bacon has made me realise that my life is actually pretty good. His was so pathetic and small (work, gym, no friends) that it's made mine look incredible by comparison!

Petitepo I'm glad your guy got in touch and with a reasonable excuse too...for the recent quietness anyway but he's stil been out of order (IMHO) for leaving messages unanswered (when you could see he'd been online). I don't think you need to read him the riot act but a gentle "oi, what's all this with not answering my messages then?" is needed I think. His reaction will show you what kind of person he is and what he thinks of you.

Apart from the Mad Tinder Guy, nothing really doing. I am back on OKC in quite a half hearted way but no one's really taking my fancy. All the sites apart from Tinder just feel like too much hard work, to be honest. I might just carry on on there for a bit. Although I am getting pissed off with all the people who match and then never message or reply to messages. What's the bloody point? Up your game, Men of Tinder!

Just a quick message for handy as I am supposed to be working and am hurtling towards a deadline. I am thinking about you today and hoping that you will get the all clear today so you can get home and concentrate on the exciting developments in your life.

Considerably thank you. Just finished. This lump looks similar on ultrasound to my 2009 fibroadenoma. Smaller next door neighbour type lumpy-person. Had my mammogram but ultrasound and biopsy still to be done, gotta wait for appointment. I think had they been really worried they'd have squeezed me in though.

Yeah Considerably my life if pretty awesome. Thank you. Especially in the last 3 years. And extra especially with Tiwx in it. It's all I could think of in my dark moments This weekend. Twix has been sweet and checked up for news. A life like this needs to totally carry on thanks!!! Sorry.... Serious moment there.... As you were!!!

Handy, loads to read and catch up on but first and foremost, I hope it goes well for you today
x

Sending you good positive thoughts for today Handy
Date 2 tonight after work and im getting nervous feeling again texts have been quite flirty all weekend as well

handy when my BC was diagnosed following a mammogram, they did the ultrasound and biopsy straight away as they were concerned about what they saw - fingers crossed that, as you say, they saw nothing to worry about. Sorry to hear about your Mum, that must make it very tough for you. Glad twix has stepped up to the mark. Again, as you were.

Hope it goes well muddling!

Ps Freaky I want a mad tinder guy. lucky you! I hope you meet him. No reply from Rave46. Oh well. I am feeling a bit overwhelmed (not in a bad way, not emotionally, just PRACTICALLY) with stuff that is happening. Stuff that I need to give my full attention to. So I will live vicariously through you, last and muddling.

I want my ten year old to go in to school and say mum met a mad guy off tinder!

:-p

Considerably hello, I never said hello! Welcome. Bien Venidos.

Quick update! Date with Leicester in a couple of hours, will do a loo update!

I think Apple has realised he just didn't put enough effort in and now he has ramped up the messaging and suggestions for a third date. I'm still a bit mixed on what to do as I'm not sure I fancy him as much as I should, but I think a third date can't hurt.

Handy it sounds like today went ok, I'm glad it looks like it's benign. What a worry though. I went last year for similar and despite outwardly appearing all in control, if I'm honest, inside I was terrified.

last woohoo! It might not turn out to be just fun, it might have legs this thing you know!! Just go with the fun flow and see where it goes.

Welcome misszp!

I agree Freaky tinder seems so easy compared to other apps.

Best crack on...I'll be back later!

I've just read up, sending you my best handy

Just re read Handy I thought you'd had all the tests done. I think it's looking encouraging but I'm thinking of you, it's a horrible time.

yes, i had a scare too a few years back. it's stomach churning.

Funny you should say that about types Freaky, I don't want to out myself here, as I've discussed this with friends recently but I was joking to a friend saying that every date is like a father ted priest. I think you have father Ted himself, cheerful and normal. Bishop Brennan, spending his free time in the jacuzzi with bikini-clad women a third his age, demanding respect from the likes of father dougal, who is of course too stoopid to date, but quite cute (?) then Father Crilly - too serious, Father Stone - too boring. Father Noel Furlong - too hyper.

Father Duff is Ocelot's scot, looking for somebody to moan to.

Father stack is the physically repulsive date, we've all had one! (Father Stack even has hairy hands)

Just googling and I am really rolling with this theme now.

Father Cleary is ancient

Father Jose fernández drives a Porsche and he's in a band (self-absorbed hipster prick?)

Father Cave and Father Gallagher - so young they giggle all the time (jovencito and youngster)

Father Deliverance - insane!!

ok, i'lll leave it there.

Haha 314

handy sounding hopeful and please do post away here for any handholding if you havnt been able to share too much in RL. Virtual friends can be a. Awesome support!

foxtrot good luck with your date, met leicester yet? What are you doing/wearing?

comsiderably welcome to the most fabulous thread! It's so great to share all the ups and downs on here!

Myself, just to answer about the reason I said I didn't think it would go anywhere with my lovely new iron of last nights second date. Umm I'm not sure really, probably because I'm putting myself and moreover my situation down. I have 4 kids, one of whom is only 3 and is with me 24/7 so any guy has to take us on as a pair. (The other 3 are teenagers and do their own thing and go to their dads every other weekend) He's younger than me at 36 to my 44, so 8 years. He has a daughter of 5 but still enjoys a ton of freedom I don't have. He goes to festivals and out doing loads of things I couldn't join in with, in the near future or any time soon! He's really nice and knows my situation but of course he's got his life and it's different to mine, so I don't know how they would merge. I think we'll date, maybe see each other but can't really seen how he'd fit into my life of kids and the every day implications of having a small one, any more than I would fit in with his camper van Glastonbury scene! He did message me this morning despite my convincing myself that he would probably disappear into the distance now after last night, and sent me some lovely messages saying it was the best second date ever and another saying he couldn't stop thinking about it. But I'm just taking it one date at a time and enjoying it for what it is I think. brick wall firmly up as usual

314 your posts are so funny!
You need an amazing clever, witty and imaginative man as awesome as you!

thanks so much. I've always been liked more by women. Men kind of don't notice me really. I hope I find that man. One day. The last man I really liked grey area-ed me. He thought he could do better, so I hope he does that. Maybe he's sitting at home eating beans on toast. But it isn't great for the ol' confidence. But I think I got away before I started asking my self-esteem too many 'why not me?' type questions. Thanks girls. I can honestly say I've never had a boyfriend who was clever, witty, kind, loyal. I cannot date down :-p