DRY 12

[HowBadIsThisPlease]

Old thread
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2584735-DRY-11?

The thread for people who want to kick the booze

halle do you record what you take and when and how you feel? You could show it to your gp/therapist. Including the alcohol.

I have a friend with different conditions to you but a range of symptoms that don't always make sense and she records everything so that she can remember what is happening and show it to doctors who might be able to make sense of it all.

matron you sound tired and a bit down? What do you have in store for the next few days?

Cross posting there matron...no, I can refuse drinks in company quite well, it's when I'm on my own that I am most vulnerable. Being busy is good for me.

I just lost a post too!

I am tired but that's par for the course in these early days - I think!

Business lunch tomorrow. But shouldn't be too stressful.

I am thinking a lot about where I went wrong last time and the uncomfortable changes I need to make to my social circle. Not terribly down but quite introspective. Thank you for asking.

My tolerance levels are so high, not even my husband can tell when ive taken Valium. Ive say next to him at dinner chattin away after taking 100mg and the only feeling I now get is .... Sorry, wrong way to put it, the only thing Valium does for me now is take away that guy wrenching nervous feeling i wake
Up with daily. Before I started taking Valium Id spend half hour every morning in the loo, being sick and diarreah with nerves. My GAD was really that bad. I also went down to 6 stone as I couldn't eat with nervousness. Soon as I started Valium it all went away. For a short time Valium saved my life. Giving me back my appetite and allowing me to put on weight on and not be sick etc. Now I can't imagine life without it. Im not sure yet when I will feel ready to be honest with my doctor. Coming here and talking to you guys has been a step for me. And im gonna take it one step at a time. If I dont, it will all be to much for me. As already said, I had these illnesses way before I started Valium. Infact one doctor suggested it for me when I was 15 and my mum said no to try just the anti depressant but my anxiety got so bad I was housebound. If not for the Valium Id never have left my house. But I know there will come a time soon I need to stop this so I can see my kids grow up. It's just so so scary. Im terrified. Xx

I'm going to be a bit controversial. Please bear with me.

The spirit of this thread, and what distinguishes it from the Babes thread, is that here we recognise that we are drinking too much and wish to abstain completely. We may not always succeed, but the aim of the posters here is permenant and complete sobriety and 'cleanness'.

In the very beginning, howbad then as Mildred, wrote some rough 'rules' for the threads to support everyone in aiming for abstinence. We agreed that for some it can be triggering to read about others drinking. I actually want to engage with others who have come to the same realisation that, however scary, the right answer is abstinence and sobriety. I am very far from perfect and I expect bumps in the road, but input from those whose aim is to moderate and don't want to stop drinking feels to me like the wrong message.

I totally understand that not everyone WANTS to give up drinking - heck I have spent many years pretending, because I didn't WANT to give up drinking, but having come out of denial, it's a lot more positive for me to talk to others who agree with that point of view. Hence reading sober books, sober blogs and engaging with sober forums. It's hard enough, in the real world, having to deal with people who think life without alcohol is unthinkable. I don't really want to argue the point on this, sobriety promoting thread.

Happy to be overruled if the majority feel different, a nd I don't want to deny support to anyone who needs/ wants it.

I'm feeling really rough today, exhausted, coldish and tired/ bloated. Feel overwhelmed by a whole onslaught of very REAL blunt emotions. Ugh. I think bed is the best place for me

Ok, record what you're doing, thinking and feeling. Don't drink alcohol and don't focus on the future. What do you do or can you do that makes you feel nice on a daily basis? Do you attend anything with your baby?

matron I think a bit of introspection can be good, healthy and restorative sometimes.

I do feel for you with your social circle and how to proceed, it can't be easy. But you must do what is best for you.

Halle I doubt my self indulgent musings and soft drink suggestions are what you need at this time.

You need help. Who do you think could help you in RL?

Sorry. I won't post about moderation anymore. I didn't mean to trigger anything. If it's any consolation I really am going to try and abstain and see how I get on xxx

I can go weeks without drinking. It's what im like when I do drink is the problem. As for the Valium, that's just one other big problem xx

Hello. I am a long time lurker and it is largely due to you lovely people I've just reached 4 months af. Have recognised so much in your posts and found so much invaluable advice here. Really appreciate this "dry" support group where the focus is so strongly on how to cope with giving up and staying off alcohol. So wanted to let you all know that and say a huge thank you to you all xxx

Hello Sybil high five to you for 4 months! Inspiring

Lily thanks for posting that. I feel the same. Let's try to keep this a trigger-free zone

Ive had a bad day and would normally drink lots now to blot it out but I'm feeling strong and sober here with my Purdey's in hand

Hey everyone time to check in lol hope everyone is ok and not struggling too much well done to everyone on another AF day!! I'm a lot brighter more positive today but realise not everyday will be like this am eating a lot more but it was so nice to wake up 'clear' for once 😀 Just want to say I value the support on here so much knowing there are others I can turn to who understand and are also wise to the tricks alcohol can play on your mind thank you to all of you ❤️❤️

Halle your posts are off point. 'it's what I'm like when I do drink that's the problem' the posters on this thread do not drink. This thread is not looking for better ways to be drunk. Take good care going forward and get the help you need.

Sybil fantastic news on your 4 months that's well worth poking your head in to announce

lily you are such a supportive poster. Take some of the group empathy and support to bed with you and recharge

Hello hello!

Tough day today, very tired and really feeling like I was hugely underperforming in a meeting. Work stuff getting me down, home stuff getting me down....

Happy to be at home now with my dinner and a tall glass of water. My head is banging, I feel like I forgot to drink since about 12pm.

Sybil - hello hello! 4 MONTHS! well done

Lily - I hear you.

Everyone - how are you?

Signing off for tonight. Dh is home so I suppose I'd better talk to him as he's not been here since Monday

Woah, Crikey got totally lost there for a bit hadn't realised I'd not posted in a while. It's funny that really as I think about this thread daily. Anyway, evening all. How's everyone doing?
I'm having a shit day and feeling utterly lonely and totally fed up. I always knew I used alcohol to fill the loneliness but not really felt the stab of loneliness in a long time properly as alcohol was my friend and did a good job of disguising it. I've forgotten how many days AF I am now vxa can you help me out? About 34 ish I think.
My birthdays coming up and I'm dreading it but I will not drink!

lily I agree with what you say. I really need a sober forum and the support I have found here has made such a huge difference to me. Today is Day 35 and I would never have made it without the wonderful selfless support here so thank you all. I hope that I have been able to help others. I'm so glad I found this thread.

sybil four months is awesome - congratulations !!

Well done rose. One day at a time. Don't worry about the eating for now and savour that clear head feeling.

matron, howbad, once and jojo you are doing brilliantly to you all and to everyone I haven't name checked.

Mr pony are you ready to come and talk and let us support you. ? fossie come back

Hi Boodles X posted there. I think I might have been 2 days ahead which would make today 33 days for you. Does that sound about right ? Well done

I'm sorry you're having a tough time. I think it's normal at this kind of time as the reality of never drinking again starts to hit home and the initial struggle of stopping drinking is over. My counsellor has said that emotionally the next couple of months are likely to be very up and down as all the feelings alcohol was suppressing come to the fore. I am a bit of a tearful wreck right now. Just remember you are doing brilliantly and should feel downright proud of yourself. Keep posting !

sybil how did you find months 2-4 ?

Wow the thread has been busy since Monday when I was last here!
Halle welcome and as a HCP who volunteers at a drug and alcohol treatment centre can I urge you to seek professional help with your alcohol and benzodiazepine usage if you plan on stopping. These are two of the most difficult drugs to manage safely during withdrawal. I am assuming you have a CPN? Can you speak to them about it and get a referral to the Drug and Alcohol Treatment team where you live. Please.

Phew now I've caught up completely
Lily completely agree :)
Sybil congrats on 4 months
Slim thanks for the blog name check
Matron my social circle has changed beyond recognition but that's okay
Full of cold here so off to bed

I echo what lily said - sorry not wanting to be unkind but all this talk of taking mind altering stuff ( drink/drugs etc) is really triggering) - :(

Mr Pony please do come back and post?
Halle please do seek further help and be honest about your intake as it sounds to me to be a lot :( xxx

To everyone else KOKO and xxx sober warriors :)

My life is a bit shit, again, but at least I feel shitty but sober :)

Evening all, another day nearly done! I am trying something new this evening.....I sleep really badly and in some ways I think I started drinking regularly many moons ago to help me fall off to sleep when I was really stressed with work. When I give up alcohol my sleep is dreadful so I often rely on an over the counter sleeping tablet - nothing too serious but have been taking 2 a night for the last 9 nights. I am really oversleeping in the mornings so going to cut down to just one tonight and see how that goes...I am really looking forward to being able to just go to sleep with nothing - maybe that will come in a week or two, I know it has in the past.

Lots of activity on the thread and I need a proper catch up but seems a lot of people are doing really well :) :)

I think it was Matron who said something about the coming in the door in the evening and associating that with a drink and I totally get that. What I do is physically picture a little witch sitting on my shoulder and I (in my head) flick her off, give myself a little shake to make sure she's gone and get on with things. It sounds really strange written down but somehow it works for me! I did it when I gave up smoking and something about picturing it really helped (mad!)

KO everyone!

So much going on! I'm sorry I haven't had much time to sit down and post, but I read the thread every day and benefit do much from hearing how everyone is doing - through rough times and smooth.

Welcome to newcomers & , and for anyone needing a bit of care.

vxa every time you post it makes me smile, you sound so strong and so positive. Almost like a different person compared to when you first joined the thread a few short weeks ago

Boodles I celebrated my first dry birthday in 25-odd years last week . Actually, do you know what? It was great. Different! But great. I had a fab day, working from home, but managed a run (and my fastest 5k ever by miles), yoga, and a celebratory meal out, and was up bright eyed for work the next morning at 6:30am. In past years I would either have taken leave, to allow for the hangover the next day, or simply deferred celebrating until I could fit in the drinking/hangover . Just take it as it comes, have a plan if you're out with drinkers, and above all luxuriate in that glorious, hangover-free morning after!!

I wanted to lend my support to Lily's comments too - there are so few spaces where being sober can be truly accepted, celebrated, normalised. Without this thread I don't think I would be where I am in my sober journey. Coming up in the next week or so I have a funeral of a very close family friend, and my 1 year dry anniversary.... Later on in the summer some seriously challenging work situations. More sober firsts, but like Lily, Once more, Lucy and many many others on this thread I am looking forward to dealing with those life events as they come, and as my best authentic self - sans booze.

Love to all - and thank you all for contributing to this wonderful thread.

Hi everyone Day 128 here. Lou I love the flicking witch off shoulder image it's brilliant! Matron coming in from work used to prompt an automatic fridge/glass of wine reaction in me, but I found the reflex action of going to the fridge stopped after about 3 weeks. I don't get that now, it was just a habit. Jason Vale compares this to when you get in new car and try to switch on indicator and it's on the other side?
fuzzy I completely agree with everything you've written above. I treasure this thread. Happy birthday for last week, your birthday sounds brill. Hey hurricane my sober buddy hope all is well with you

Beautiful morning!

Thanks for sharing your numbers it makes me feel that an alcohol free life is possible.

lou I also like that flicking off image.

slim hope you are ok? Let us know what's going on in your life.

Absloute I agree this thread is integral to launching my sober life. Where else could I be so deeply understood.

fuzzy I agree, my whole annual leave pattern was based around hangovers. I'm planning a days leave this month to take a swim and cycle.