DRY 12

[HowBadIsThisPlease]

Old thread
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2584735-DRY-11?

The thread for people who want to kick the booze

Morning jojo have a lovely time at lunch. May I recommend a St Clements (I think it's orange and bitter lemon mixed). I had one yesterday it's really refreshing.

howbad you sound stronger such a lot to sort out. A sober life has come at a time when you need a clear head. That is good.

oncemoreintothebleach thanks for the recommendations. I do think it's horses for courses - I like the discipline of physically going and speaking to right minded people, and the therapy (fir want if a better word) of a 12 step program. It's a program that works if you work it. But it's good to know there are alternatives too.

Halleberry they are massive, massive doses. I know you say you've lied to get the prescriptions re issued but even so, to get hold of so many, at such high doses really does make me think you've found an alternative supplier. It's ok to admit it.

I'm begging you, PLEASE go and see your GP fir an urgent appointment with the drugs and alcohol team. Benzos are massively addictive and the zopiclone should also only be used very short term. What you're experiencing now probably isn't GAD, it's withdrawal and this nightmare will only go away with professional help.

By way of illustration when I took diazepam I'd take 2mg and feel totally different, and 3.5mg of zopiclone would knock me flat.
I really feel for you. You must feel like utter shit.

Im completely private here. I have no reason to lie at all. Even when I was pregnant (and rarely ever took any at all, I was the strongest ive ever been will power wise) I still got my monthly prescription. So if you times 56 tablets a month for 9 months - that's a lot of stash. That alone takes me just over 500 tabs plus the rest that Id been saving. Never sold to anyone and would never take street drugs. I think everyone's body reacts and handles things differently though. I started out on 2mg tabs and they done absolutely norninf for me. Then 5 mg, and again, felt no different. Up to 10 and for a very short time all I felt was a slight relief of anxiety in my stomach. So my doctor said take 1 10mg tablet 3 times a day. What I would try and do was save all 3 and take them about an hour before bed. But the. 3 stopped working so I started 4. I only got a short course of Zopiclone there as ive recently been diagnosed with a very painful condition that effects your lungs,ribs,back and sternum. I don't feel like this just now. The only thing I feel like I have is very restless feet. I had 5mg about 7am. I will see how im feeling as the day goes on and then allow myself another 5 if I feel the anxiety getting bad again. Please don't worry about me. My ex sister in law is a heroin addict who had seizures going cold turkey. The doctor can't know for sure what MY body needs to cope with this. Only I can by knowing how it affects ME. Worry not, if I feel any effects that's worry me to a great level
I will go to
Hospital. And once again, just for today, im NOT going to have a drink. Wish me well ladies. Xx

Re taking meds for anxiety etc, I'm no expert but I had a bad episode last year where I had irregular heart rhythm because of anxiety and my doctor put my AD dose up quite a lot. He didn't ask how much I was drinking or anything, but I know with hindsight that alcohol was a significant factor.

It did help but now that I've stopped drinking I find I need a lower dose than before.

I do think that taking alcohol out of the equation can help enormously with MH issues, rather than self-medicating with alcohol and then having the dr medicate on top of that. It's counter-productive to put that much into your body when it probably needs a lot less if alcohol is removed.

Halle I feel for you because it seems like you are in a whirlpool of need and addiction and a belief that you can't or won't cope with less and therefore keep needing or wanting more. I do hope that removing alcohol will have a positive effect for you and set you on a more positive path

flossie I know I was rubbish and went off on one with out reading PMs or lurking but if you are out there and reading why not start day 1 then we can all be here for you. Now is a good time to begin your alcohol free life X

I am shocked halle, that your GP has be dishing these things out to you in such high doses for so long. That is a HUGE dose of diazepam. I am a GP and if you were my patient you would have been weaned off years ago, and if you had a few diazepam they would be max 5mg tablets , they would be dispensed at very short intervals, max 1 week at a time, and there ewould be NO replacement of 'lost' drugs / precriptions. We have seen that 'I've lost my script' 1000x and every other excuse too. Doesn't wash with most GPs. I second the poster above who says this is not GAD , rather benzo withdrawal symptoms. You are in very serious trouble Halle and I realy urge you to get help asap. I think you will need support in weaning off your cross addictions, and you need to be totally honest with those treating you. It really IS possible to live a 'clean' life, but not whilst you are still thinking you dont "have to" stop. Do you know the long term effects of benzodiazepines on memory and cognitive function ? Its not pretty. Look it up on Google ... I see you are looking for the brave babes bus so you have decided that this thread is not for you at the moment. We will still be here if you decide to quit. Wishing you the best of luck Halle

I will probably jump between them both to be honest as there seems to be sympathy, empathy and good understanding from both. And that's what I need. I hear what you're say RE. My doctor, but according to him some people with GAD just need that extra help every day. Funny thing is, when I fell pregnant 2 septembers ago (little girl,aged 1 in just over a week) I stopped Drinkin and taking Valium instantly with very minimal side effecs except insomnia for a few weeks and some sweating. And I was using and drinking more then than what I am now. This is me
Cut down x they don't even monitor my use. I was diagnosed with ocd at 5 and GAD at 12, and medicated since I was 15 with various meds. Never been unmedicated actually since I turned 15 x

I hear what you're say RE. My doctor, but according to him some people with GAD just need that extra help every day. I'm sorry but that is rubbish and very poor medicine. If you had ever seen the shell of a person left after 25 years of diazepam use/abuse, you would not think it acceptable to just keep handing these things out. It is NOT harmless and you are doing yourself SERIOUS long term damage by popping just a few pills when you feel a bit anxious ....I'm sorry you don't seem ready to accept that, or do anything abut it.

On a (for me) more cheerful note, my sobriety necklace arrived today ... I confess to being a little disappointed with one small aspect of it, but in general I'm please with it. It might seem stupid (and optimistic) to have something with that ONE date engraved on it - in case I slip. But I am desperate NOT to slip and determined that I will not drink. This time its for good.

Makesomethingupyouprick why don't you post a bit and see if we can support you to having a longer period sober ?

howbad - you do sound a bit brighter...

Mrpony are you still there ?

morning jojo and matron and vxa and everyone else ! hope you are all ok today

Wise words likybetsy.
What's a sobriety necklace?

Halle surely any extra help can/should be in the form of fixing any defects in brain chemistry, e.g. But stopping alcohol from depleting you and maybe some ADs but not by numbing with diazepam, but lily is the GP so please listen to her. Sounds like your own GP is not looking beyond the prescription and you are believing your body needs diazepam to function. It doesn't. And you have a baby. Please get some decent help and adjust your mindset before it's too late.

Lily congrats on the necklace! I might get something similar myself one date is a good thing I think. Why not be optimistic, it might be just the thing that keeps you on track to see that date often

www.etsy.com/uk/listing/162234034/custom-stamped-necklace-mixed-metals

This is what I got , {almost} it has my sobriety date on the smallest disc ( mine is gold) ; one day at a time on the second disc, mine is rose gold; and serenity, love, courage on the third, largest, silver disc...

The date is written XII. III. MMXVI.

lily it's lovely and you deserve it so much xxx

Thank you the middle charm is a big flat pearly thing which obscures the date and is not at all the same as the neat pearly crystal on this necklace which is what I wanted. I have contacted the maker to see if we can change it !

Im definitly ready to accept that I need to get off these pills. I imagine that 25 years down the line Id be in a right state. I don't want that. Im on anti depressants but apart from that im not sure what else my doc can do to help except wean me off which im trying to do anyway. Ive already only taken 20mg today and ive been thibking about how to help myself all day. I would think nothing of popping 6/7 somwtimes more, plus a sleeping pill, plus a pain killer for my Costocondritis. But I want to try hard to cut back xx

Today I have been thinking about the chicken and egg of drinking. The drinking to ease stress, calm down, relax, zone out which leaves me like a tightly coiled spring full of venom and looking for another drink the next day to ease stress, calm down repeat repeat.

I wondered if I had a different life would I drink as much or as often and the answer is yes, yes I would.

Day 3 and I know the nights of restorative peaceful sleep are round the corner.

How has everyone been today?

Just lost a whole post, aargh!! Will have to re-do in a bit!

Ive had no alcohol or cravings at all since Saturday. Infact I might not even drink at the party next weekend xx

jojo are you ok?

Good start Halleberry. But you'll need a proper plan to sort things out totally. Will you see a different GP and tell them what you've posted here? Or ask to see the drugs and alcohol team? Hope you're ok

Btw 20mg is tons. Seriously. I was prescribed it after a shock last year and it was 2mg three times a day and I didn't need that, even when I was still drinking. Are you driving?

...yes, sorry, technical problems there...typing while ds2 was in the bath wasn't a good plan!

What I had typed was...

Well done Halle on not taking any more today, that's a start. I have no knowledge of medications at all so I suggest you listen to those here that do. You must also be honest with your gp, therapist and husband about what you are doing. You sound a little calmer today, keep going with the no alcohol, that is guaranteed to help! When are you next seeing your gp?

As for me, I had a lovely lunch, I stuck to sparkling water (I like the sound of a St Clements matron but I didn't want to confuse the waitress by asking for something that wasn't on the menu!!), followed by a mooch around the shops, a school mum then came back to mine whilst we waited for the eldests to do the play rehearsal. The lovely weather and two impending weddings have induced widespread wardrobe inadequacy so we had a lovely hour on the internet trying (but failing!) to find any clothes for any occasion whatsoever.

In all, a nice, sober day! Now waiting for DH to return from Scotland where he's been for a few days...and still trying to find clothes...

jojo For one moment I thought you had post lunch drunk fingers. Fret not it all sounds lovely.