DRY 12

[HowBadIsThisPlease]

Old thread
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2584735-DRY-11?

The thread for people who want to kick the booze

Heatwave this weekend!

Here is my tip for a refreshing desert by Jamie Oliver. Cut up a pineapple chill it. Bash up fresh mint and sugar and sprinkle over. Serve with creme fresh.

That's my alcohol free treat for Sunday.

I'm not having a party this weekend. But I'm still going to line the drive with hurricane lamps and string the lights in the garden and lay out the beautiful serving platters etc.

Then I'm putting my kaftan on and sticking my feet in the paddling pool

Morning morning day 11 here and feeling good, slept just as well with one tablet so going to keep that up for a couple of days and then try with nothing.

I can't believe some of the numbers of days some of you are on its brilliant! I have been lurking here for years and remember so many at the starts of their journeys it is truly inspiring and has really really helped change my mindset over the years.

I can't remember who it was who said it's becoming the new 'thing' to be sober and I do t know whether that's true or whether I a more in tune to it of late but I have really noticed a shift around me, a lot of friends (and let's face it most of our friends are also drinkers) have takes about sobriety much more than I ever remember...a lot notecard reading their own blogs and looking at themselves and I don't even think it's because I am questioning myself and bringing it up more- think it's more the other way around! It's definitely very eye opening

Excuse typos - on phone which I am not good at :)

Fraiche (can't do the accents)

Morning everyone. I hope everyone is ok and feeling positive. Lovely and sunny here even though I am stuck at work.

Feeling a bit more like "me" today if that doesn't sound weird.

DH and DD1 are away tomorrow night which would usually be an excuse to over indulge so I need to make sure I have a plan in place.

Morning all, feeling good here today despite the sneezing, sniffly, headache-y cold that is refusing to go. Got a busy, if dull, day ahead of housework and cooking a new, healthy chicken dish (dh and I on a bit of a health kick) for tonight. Also, going to order some new clothes with my savings from not drinking.

Attending a funeral tomorrow which won't be pleasant but has to be done. It is the husband of one of the mums from school who died suddenly and I think of her and her two little boys at the moment if I am feeling weak or sorry for myself.

Taking DS1 and two friends to see The Jungle Book on Saturday as a birthday treat and tea at KFC and then my usual Sunday swim. All of which will hopefully keep any cravings at bay. The nice weather is a bit of a trigger but I think I will get some 'special' non alcohol drinks in.

Definitely make a plan vxa with lots of sober treats!

god talk about shooting my mouth off - so the 'down' period has arrived like a massive dark cloud - just feel completely flat and I normally deal with this by grabbing a bottle of wine on the way home!! grrrrr!!! shouldn't have been so happy I knew it wouldn't last! however determined to carry on and complete my 3rd day AF!! - well done everyone - have got tomorrow off work so trying to plan a 'pamper' day at home with my dogs and go out for a nice long work weather permitting!!
Keep dry everyone :) it's the best way to be xxx

Thanks Absolute

Matron your weekend plans for your garden sound beautiful - could you come and make my place as lovely?

Rose don't worry, if you're on day 3 you are going through the bit where your body is ridding itself of the remains of the alcohol, and you will be having a bit of withdrawal plus your body telling you what you really need is a nice glass of wine... Well bollocks to that!! Find another way to care for yourself. Get yourself a nice soft drink, cake, crisps, DVDs, snuggle blanket, best pjs. Do your nails, have a bath, try a yoga vid on YouTube, cook pancakes for tea, or salmon & veg if you're feeling healthy! be kind to yourself and show your body and mind some love and respect .

FuzzyWhiteLegs I think your suggestion is perfect definitely liking the cake crisps and DVD (Netflix) idea and will definitely consider the yoga as I need to relax my mind and on the healthy front make some nice homemade veg stew appreciate the ideas I always focus on other people other than myself!! Thank you xxx I love this thread no matter happy or sad everyone is always here for each other and gets "it" xxx

Lol finally worked out how to make users names appear in bold ha ha xxxx

Hi everyone, I dropped off this thread when I felt good, then slipped slowly back into social drinking and, well.... you know the rest....
Back to my sober life day 1 starts today. I've tipped the wine down the sink and been for a big run. I've planned my evening meal (husband out) and TV viewing. I find the early days the easiest but soon slip back, hopefully not this time.
I remember someone on this thread talking about looking in the rear view mirror to see how far you've come to stop you throwing it all away. That's my plan - one day at a time.
Hello to everyone on the thread. So glad to see so many doing well.

Hi hadron welcome back. I remember you from when I used to lurk before I was ready to stop drinking. You sound like you are really focussed and you have a plan which is great. Take care.

Hi hadron welcome back.

This thread is a lifeline for me, IRL I don't want to discuss my drinking with anyone except DP and he is in denial ( I think) about the extent of his own psychological dependence on alcohol... So my banging on about feeling great (or rubbish) is met with sympathy and support but he doesn't really "get it" . You guys get it. And you have faced many of the same challenges as I am, and found lots of different sober ways round

vxa you are sounding more positive , are you feeling a bit better ? It's great if you are finally beginning to get the benefits or more than a month sober !

rose in the first few days I remember feeling physically awful.. Just eat what you want, do what you want and distract yourself ,... It does pass. well done on getting thus far , keep going :-)

jojo, matron and lou ; FWL, absolute, glad, boodles and lucy, thank so much for all of your care and support, it's so important to me and I wouldn't have got this far without you ....

I'm very low today, flat and sluggish. I think it's pmt / menopausal hormone crash, because I can't think of any other reason I would feel so crap. Ive stuffed the best part of a packet of biscuits during surgery this morning and now I feel sick . However, I forced myself to go to my Pilates class, I've bought myself some special tea - with grapefruit and lime - for later and a mango smelling candle. Feel the need for a bit of pampering ... Now I'm going to cycle with ds3 to his piano lesson and hope that a bit of sunshine will cheer me up :-)

Absolute good to see you! Glad to hear you are still going strong....as am I and long may it continue for us ☺️

Lily that was a very brave and honest post.....one I completely agree with ☺️

Lucy I have a new love and her name is Melody Beattie! 😄
I'm reading "Co-dependent No More" and whilst I don't have alcoholic parents or an alcoholic partner, I had a unusual upbringing to say the least....I know I was loved and still am loved by my parents but I was pretty much left to my own devices at a young age. My sister was 4 years older than me and I was left in on my own on Saturday and Sunday evenings from the age of 11 years, whilst she was out with her mates and mum and dad went to the pub. I went home to an empty house every day after school from a very young age....but to be fair mum and dad were both working.
My mum never did things or spent time with me like I do with my kids, such as shopping, lunch out, walks etc. I was never made to feel special, not even birthdays were properly celebrated. I know they were doing the best they could and I do love them but I now truly believe that my co dependent tendencies are the result of my upbringing. I have displayed this behaviour for most of my life.
As I said, my parents aren't and weren't alcoholics but their lives did revolve around partying at weekends and my mum definitely drinks too much now, so I was brought up around a lot of alcohol.

My own problem alcohol intake was as a result of the co -dependent behaviour I displayed when we were hit with an awful family problem (on my husband's side)a few years ago........and the resulting fall out from that.

l've learned so much this last week since reading this book which I'm three quarters of the way through!!! I hope I can put it into practice.

Halleberry have you disappeared? Are you ok?

I realise this thread is for those aiming at abstinence but I think you might have seen her off! Of everyone posting she clearly needs the most support.

Ah I see she's on the Brave Babes thread.

Marry I don't think anyone has seen anyone off at all.....maybe she is just busy and will come back. This thread is about honesty in all its forms I thought and some people just politely reminded Halle that the thread promoted abstinence - nothing rude or chasing off in that. I get the impression that Halle is more than able to look after herself, albeit needs support but nothing that was posted was rude or hurtful to her in any way.

Rose - Day three is the absolute worst I find, it always was when I gave up smoking too for some reason. That and days 10 and 21....don't ask me why but they seem to have different triggers./wants/desires than other days! Keep on plodding on and suddenly tomorrow will be day four and you will be so chuffed with yourself!!

I am off for a walk now, I did a late one last night and came back at about 8.45 just as the sun was setting, I saw 9 deer in total and a gorgeous little fox that I wouldn't normally see during my daytime walks but as it was the evening and I wasn't sitting at home guzzling wine down my neck I was able to see a side to nature I don't normally witness, it was beautiful.

Yes she is on the BB, she said last night she was on both :) :)

I think anyone with significant drink AND drug addiction is the absolute personification of someone who CANNOT look after themselves. Perhaps she just didn't suit the current vibe here.

I'm really sorry if my post is seen as 'seeing her off' - I was trying to be honest, I was not trying to be rude and I hope that I wasn't.

For a huge variety of reasons I do find the 'I just need to drink differently, not stop completely', mindset difficult. And because I'm still quite new in this attempt at being sober (55 days only) I'm here and on other sober websites quite a lot - probably looking for affirmation that I am not completely nuts and that people, just like me, can be HAPPY not drinking ...

I see it that there is a thread for people who believe that for them, moderation, or limiting intake in one way or another, is the way forward. Trust me, I wish that were me - but it's not , and I dont go on the BBthread precisely because I find it triggering and it leads me to thinking that , " well they are all doing it, and some of them drink way more than me, so why shouldn't I have the odd drink "... And that way , I know, is the wrong way for me....

If the majority feeling is that it's ok to post actively here whilst not intending or wanting to be dry, then that's fine - and I will take a step back ? I know I'm a newbie compared to many of you.

Lily 🌷

I delurked to offer advice to Halle and lily kindly suggested I post again so I'm dipping a toe in.

I don't think I'm quite suited to the thread because the most abstinence I've achieved in 5 years was 17 days. I'm trapped and am at the stage where I'm considering just giving up the constant fight and accept I'll drink myself to death sooner or later.

BUT I wanted to come here to say that even though I've tried all the advice, books etc and failed. I'm reading this thread every day and rooting for everyone and impressed by you all.

I'm a classic secret problem drinker. Professional job in MH and viewed as a together, confident woman. Which I am in so many ways apart from drinking. I've helped numerous people on their road in recovery but can't seem to do it myself.

I was a speaker at a national conference recently (not drugs or alcohol services) and had so many people telling me how much they respected me, were inspired or wanted to be a HCP like me and I felt such a fraud. This person that is respected and admired that is a fucking mess behind the scenes.

The self loathing is the worst part of this awful destruction of myself. And I am so, so lonely in this because no-one knows what is really going on and the social circle I have are all problematic drinkers (Psychiatrists, Psychologists and nurses seem to have high rates IMO) so tell me not to be so hard on myself and it's fine as we're all doing the same thing.

And this thread makes me feel less lonely. And I need that even if I don't post and maybe won't post again.

Thank you. All of you. You are incredible

I think what struck me was that Halleberry started out talking about alcohol but then the issue of prescription meds came up too, along with a realisation of how disordered this was. I strongly suspect that the realisation of total abstinence wasn't far away - she said as much, but she struck me as someone transitioning her thinking, rather than someone who absolutely knows they want to stop and wants to stay stopped, now, forever.
Sobriety is something of a journey and we all started somewhere, some of us in more difficult places than others.

I think you're right lily. I feel very concerned for halle and hope that she gets the real life help that she needs but I don't think she was really ready to abstain or to take anyone's advice.

Hope you are feeling a bit brighter now, did you cycle?

The weather is lovely! I often dread the arrival of any sunshine as I get quite itchy skin (gp says it is an allergy type of thing, it has a name which I can never remember!) but it hasn't happened yet this year - I wonder if the lack of alcohol has helped? What a great side effect for me if so, another reason to keep going.

That sounds very hard makesomethingup. How did you go on at AA? Would you consider giving them another try at another group?