DRY 12

[HowBadIsThisPlease]

Old thread
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2584735-DRY-11?

The thread for people who want to kick the booze

Marry interesting note on prescription drugs.

If we needed a prescription medicine for say back pain, and it seemed to do the trick for a while, provide some relief, relaxation, better sleep etc, we'd keep taking it.

But if after a while, it started to make us sick, tired, banging head, uncontrolled behaviour leading to danger or embarrassment, messing up our mental health and our relationships, emptying out our bank accounts and making us look older than our years, would we blindly just carry on taking it? Or would we seek an alternative way to deal with our back pain?

Yikes, I'm starting to sound like a TED talk, sorry

Matron was bang on saying we're part of something bigger here. We're all waking up to the lies that alcohol has been spinning us since we were born, and generations before us.

Like smoking was acceptable for so long, now it's not. Alcohol should and probably will go the same way. Already there are stars out there to say younger people at more teetotal than previous generations.

It's really positive

Stats, not stars. Although sure there are plenty of teetotal slebs to inspire us too!

Oncemoreintothebleach
"But if after a while, it started to make us sick, tired, banging head, uncontrolled behaviour leading to danger or embarrassment, messing up our mental health and our relationships, emptying out our bank accounts and making us look older than our years, would we blindly just carry on taking it? Or would we seek an alternative way to deal with our back pain?"

That's the nature of addiction though - you end up using just to feel normal. Normal at a party, normal raising a toast at a wedding, normal at Christmas Dinner, normal in the pub, normal after a hard day. And then remove it and things don't feel normal, even with the headaches and the negatives. We prioritise feeling what we think is normal, over everything else, even if by tiny tiny steps, this new normal/usual is massively destructive. Humans don't like change, and escaping from addiction requires huge change. Been thinking about this a lot.

Mmmm..... some luscious teetotal slebs around.

Ewan McGregor, Anthony Hopkins, Gary Oldman come to mind.

Ahem. As you were. :)

I also think we are a part of something bigger......teetotal is going mainstream.

Hopkins and Oldman (and Russell Brand) all came to sobriety after some serious hard-living though!

And like Kaiser Sorzai poof the desire has gone.

Thanks for the good reading tonight. I am off to bed. I've forgotten how exhausting the first week is.

Ps cold shower for you slim

So I was trying to justify having a drink next Friday and was chatting to my work colleague and told her I have a problem with alcohol I shed tears but I felt relieved and she is happy to keep me company not drinking when we go out next week xx I want an excuse to drink as opposed to not wanting one ? Does that make sense? I feel more confident that I can do this it will be hard but I can see that it will be good for me xxx I don't know how to tag people in messages but thank you for all the reassuring comments and advice xxxx sleep well my Sobriety Sisters xxx

Marry yes that is the nature of addiction, but physical addiction to alcohol is gone relatively quickly once you stop. It's the emotional addiction that keeps people going back for more, and this is where it's important to think rationally and rod yourself of the brain washing that alcohol delivers any benefits to you. It doesn't.

The books that talk about this do a great job of helping to see where these myths about alcohol keep is hooked long after the physical addiction is gone.

I truly believe from my experiences that being rational and seeing it for what it is has made my quitting so easy, where times I've tried and failed miserably in the past were always doomed because I believed I was depriving myself or missing out on something good.

Alcohol is not good. It delivers nothing but crap into my life.

The fun times, the laughs, the social stuff o can have without it, and better.

And this from a person with long-term anxiety, depression and social phobia.

Most of that MH stuff for me was caused or at least made worse by alcohol.

Without it, I feel much better mentally and physically and emotionally and socially.

Rose you will be a sober warrior with an ally at your side. Fight the good fight!

I wish I has some of the strength some
Of you ladies have x I already know I won't say no at this party next week.nmaybe nothing will happen, maybe something will, problem
Is ..... I never know what the outcome of a nigjt out drinking will be for me

matron well done today.

Welcome halle I have been catching on the thread this evening and have read your posts in particular. It sounds to me as though you are really struggling with alcohol and perhaps nenzos as well. 10mg is not an insignificant dose of diazepam and taken alongside alcohol even if not simultaneously is potentially very damaging. My personal view is that you may need some professional help to stop drinking. I referred myself to my local drugs and alcohol service. Would you consider that ?

You have said several times that you don't want to stop drinking completely. What I would say is that the aim on this board is achievement and maintenance of abstinence. If you are not ready for that you might feel more comfortable looking at the Brave Babes thread where the focus is on moderation. The ladies there are very supportive. Please do not think I am trying to push you away because I genuinely am not. As you have said everyone here is lovely but this is not a forum where you will be encouraged to actively plan to drink. Believe me at 34 days dry I am new to all this and I am finding it really tough so I know it's not easy but I think you should address whether realistically you can drink at all. As I have said you may need some professional support with that.

rose I would say the same to you and echo what lily has said which is spot on.

howbad how are you today ? I am thinking of you

sanity and carrot let us know how things are,

Hello hello thank you to everyone asking after me.

I was shattered today because I didn't sleep properly last night. But I felt better than yesterday, got out and got to work and operated at around 60% I reckon, a lot better than nothing which I was envisaging yesterday. I fell asleep on the train home and woke up feeling really blissed out at having had good healthy sleep (even only 15 minutes of it). Makes me feel like feeling good might be round the corner.

got home in the sunshine, love these sunny evenings. Sat with dds and helped them with homework and reading and tucked them into bed. Love being with them in the peace and calm while P avoids me (sulking fool that he is).

He told me this morning that he is looking for somewhere to live. He has said this before but he always fails to change anything, I think because he gets to the point of realising what a shithole he can afford by himself, and changes his mind. Like everything else, he needs my organisational powers to actually get something done. What he needs is a legal agreement on the children and the house, and a practical kick from me to get out the door. I reckon I can re-mortgage and buy him out and that would give him a decent lump sum to put down on a place he could get that would be suitable for him and the dcs. I reckon shared residence would be agreed, either upfront because he decides not to be a git (I can dream), or after a legal process. I think we need professional help like mediation to get there because he imagines he is just going to flounce off to some imagined rented place with the dcs and actually the reality is too much for him; and his emotions are going to take over as well, and he is going to feel nostalgic and regretful. He is thinking of ways to punish me, is being very unrealistic and not thinking in ways that can actually accomplish a practical break. I am the one who will move things to make this happen. I contacted a mediating service today and am hoping for a call back soon.

The above plan might not work but if that doesn't work we'll make another plan.

It will be sad not to have my dcs with me all the time, but it is fun thinking about how this process, awful though it will be, might be the last piece of logistical organisational labour he gets to unthinkingly foist upon me while inevitably bitching and moaning about how I go about it.

When I was really tired today I felt awful for much of the day about how this could be the end of us. But then I felt better as soon as I got home and had some evening time with the dcs. (and after that glorious nap)

I had test results over the phone from the GP and I have vit. D deficiency which I have an appointment to talk to them about. Maybe something I can do there will help me feel better.

Thanks for letting me ramble on. I know whatever happens there will be a lot of up and down and I appreciate your patience and kindness in letting me come and waffle on here all the time.
Thanks for all your support

Re the physical effects of alcohol - I agree they're out of your system relatively quickly, even those with full on physiological addiction are generally straightened out in weeks not months. But staying straightened out is the hard part isn't it? Again and again in AA, there are stories if people who have been sober for years, thought they'd recovered entirely from their previous problem with alcohol, and picked up a drink again, and without fail, they reset to their previous drinking levels within days. And recovery the second time around is way harder than the first because there's no novelty to it, just bloody hard slog, PLUS feeling shit about having blown it in the first place.

Rosewinehunt71 why don't you just not go? Most find it difficult to attend social boozy night outs so early on in their sober journey.

Ah sorry didn't see your last post - glad to hear you have such a supportive friend in RL.

im not in a fit state to chat right now but could someone remind me to come back tomorrow?

I think your statement about benzo's cous be true. I don't "crave" alcohol the way I do benzo's but hadn't thought much of it. Im on quite a high daily dose Aswell (although on less anxious days I can resist. Im definitleu going to address my drinking but im going to try not to worry about that until such time comes up when I have to. Right now it's 5:04am and ive been pacing the floors for 2 hours because I want some Valium I took 30mg before bed plus 2 Zopiclone yet here I am wide awake and have the strangest feeling in my stomach. I just had very bad toilet incident (tmi sorry) but ive never seen anything like it except whe me or the kids have a proper sick bug. Bottom line is, ive had me tal health problems since way before i wver touched a drink and have been taking pills for them since I was 15. And I can't think of a better way to say it than " I cannot relax without them, my heart races and stomach churns. I feel agitated all over like my skin is crawling. My gp in rubbish (clearly) or maybe ive just been so super good at hiding this. One things for sure, Rome wasn't built in a day and im not gonna get over this in a day. Anyone else here struggle with benzo's? My tolerance is that high now I can take 100mg and not even notice the difference. Im going to slowly taper myself off them. Please don't tell me to go to doctor. I know none of U are health professionals but im just looking for supportive general advive on what to do. Do I just taper very slowly? I do t always take 100mh btw. My most is usually 40mg a day. But maybe try going to 35mg, then 30mg eye and so on? Xx

I normally just lurk here as don't want to let people down with my repeated failures but Halle - I am a HCP and Diazepam addiction and reduction is really complex and should be dealt with by professionals.

You are taking massive doses and experiencing significant withdrawal symptoms. Mixing those doses with alcohol is really dangerous too. You really need professional help here.

Sorry for interrupting the thread and sorry if I've scared you Halle but you really can't sort this out on your own

That's ok. What do you mean your are HPC and that you don't post much because you keep letting people down? Are you an addict? Xx

Halle I am scared for you. Please get some professional help today. Your position is really complex and really dangerous. I hope you don't mind me asking but are the benzodiazepines prescribed ?

I don't know how old you are but if you have been taking this medication since you were 15 that's a significant amount of time. You say that your GP is useless but at the same time you have been hiding things from him/her. I am surprised that your GP is prescribing such high doses for such a long period of time. You might have covered this but are you seeing a psychiatrist and/or having any kind of therapy ?

I am really worried about you. You are scaring me. Please please please get help.

halle I can see from your earlier post that you have said the diazepam is 10mg to be taken as needed but you are taking an average of 40mg per day. I don't understand how your GP is allowing that to happen. I am prescribed a low dose of diazepam to take as needed but I am prescribed 7 tablets at a time. If I took them all in one go I'd still be getting less than 20mg. Previously I have been on a higher dose but only for a max of 14 days. I am worried you are being left with huge amounts of diazepam apparently to self medicate and manage two serious addictions and GAD ( which I also have so I know how hard it is ).

Get professional help please.

Morning all, I think HCP means health care professional and makesomething lurks rather than posts because they are trying to stop drinking but is repeatedly slipping and doesn't want to let us down. Do post again if you'd like to make, perhaps it will help to stop the slips.

Am sure the health advice is good halle - your situation sounds complex and you must be honest with your doctors and therapist about how much you are taking and drinking and take their advice. Your life and situation sound exhausting both physically and mentally. Stopping alcohol would be a huge help I think. You have a supportive husband by the sounds of it, is he fully aware of everything?

I won't be around much today, am at a last minute birthday lunch for a friend (no drinking for me though!) but will catch up later. Have a good, sober day everyone

My prescription sometimes says "as needed" but also sometimes says take 1 tablet 3 times a day. But in typical addict style ive told many lies in order tk receive more diazepam. Ive lied and said ive lost my, left them on holiday, had hand bag stolem so they always give me more so ive always had a "stash". It's bizzare because there have been times during tos 15 year period (im 32 now) when ive not had to take any for months but I still get my monthly prescription for emergencies. At one point I must have been sitting with more that 1000 valiim tablets in my drawer. A few weeks ago I was having a semi few good days and I never took any for 5 days nor did I feel the need to. It's only been recently ive really started to worry about my whole life style xx

Marry I would recommend the books to you - Jason vale kick the drink and Craig beck alcohol lied to me. Jason vale particularly talks about why AA and similar don't work often because of the philosophy that alcoholics have a life long battle ahead and will always be an 'addict'. It makes you think you have to abstain daily and that it will always be there and a struggle.

It's the mindset that is different with the new ways of thinking that makes all the difference and stops it feeling like a long term battle and this is why the success rates are better.

Have a look at the reviews of the Jason vale book on Amazon to see people who have read it and it has worked. It's quite compelling and it has worked for me where nothing else ever had.