DRY 12

[HowBadIsThisPlease]

Old thread
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2584735-DRY-11?

The thread for people who want to kick the booze

High five fuzzy, you inspirational thing,you

Cheep this is a bit of an "out there" suggestion if you're sceptical about such things but as you seem desperate for help, then it's worth a try.

I listened to Andrew Johnson's quit drinking hypnotism app for the recommended three weeks when I stopped drinking and I honestly think it is what has worked for me more than anything. I quit in December and apart from tasting some of DH's wine on one occasion, whilst on holiday in March this year when I was feeling a bit "unspecial"....I haven't drunk any alcohol at all.... but more importantly I don't want to. I'm just not bothered really. I'm wistful for the "romantic" ideal occasionally, however not really bothered or resentful or anything. I'm enjoying actually having a Sunday exist in the week to be honest.

DH still drinks at home every weekend or when we are out, in front of me....in fact I buy it for him sometimes. It genuinely doesn't bother me. He is lucky as he doesn't drink to excess very often.

I was a committed drinker, whether I really wanted it or not. I just drank because it was Friday and I deserved it etc, etc. I would even have to arrange travel plans for holidays around my excess drinking, so I never flew at weekends until recently.
People who know me can't believe I've quit but I have. To be honest, I still can't believe it and i am so grateful.

It may work for you too.

I used to listen to it in bed a night and have it on sleep mode but you can have it on wake mode too. I always fell asleep before it had even got half way through, apparently it still "works"
If you want to give it a go it's on either ITunes and also on all the Android phones as an app too. It costs no more than £3 but you do need to give it the recommended minimum 3 weeks listening

There's a few of us on the thread who have had some success with it. For me, there can't be any other explanation!! I have also read Allen Carr's book and all the other recommended reading on the thread is worth trying too.

Good luck Cheep

Fuzzy today is a fantastic, brilliant, fabulous day!!!! Well done, I'm so pleased for you and you must be so proud of yourself!

Bed fully clothed....hmmm I remember it very well. I used to hate it but I did it so often. I once woke up fully clothed and still wearing one leather boot!! So happy and grateful those days are gone.

Enjoy the day Fuzzy xx

God, waking up fully dressed. I used to do that too, and my personal pet hate.... waking at three in the morning thinking; 'Shit, did I pay the babysitter/restaurant bill?'

hurricane you are funny, you should be on commission or something for AJ but I do absolutely agree it 'works' or it has for me, and I don't believe in anything like that.

I know Absolute ... someone should tell Mr Johnson. I like his healing one too

It's so cheap though and I just can't put my quitting down to anything else other than listening to that app. Even on the day before I quit I was being very scornful about "Dry January" and anyone doing that. I meant it too, I just couldn't believe that anyone could even conceive of giving up wine for a Friday, never mind a month. No matter how shit they felt or how much of a break they needed.......so grateful for what I've got now...

App purchased!
DH and I are in for a treat tonight!
Thanks

Fuzzy HUGE congrats on your 1 year soberversary!! Now that you have run this morning (and I love that you do that on special days to seal in the value of the non-hangover moment) you can extra cake after your pizza Such a pride inspiring moment for us ex-drinkers May it be the first of many
Cheep alcohol abuse also creates fatty liver as I am sure you are aware so for DH he's getting a double whammy I'm afraid. I also recognise how difficult it is to diet and do something else behaviour change wise but if I had to prioritise anything it would be the stopping drinking. Let's hope AJ 'noooow' works his magic :)

Adore AJ 'nooooooooow...' Enjoy it cheep also, I second (3rd, 5th?) the advice to focus on your own sobriety primarily. It will be good for you but also your OH will see the positive changes you experience and it may well have a knock-on effect for him to open his eyes a bit.

I know you really can't force or even push someone to do this, but having inspiration and 'proof' close by in the form of another person doing it can really make a difference.

Not great today either. Not helped by having picked up a bug and having a temp, headache and diarrhoea , came home early from work and am just slobbing. I didn't feel guilty about leaving work, because my illness is not alcohol related in any way !

I expect it is a PAWS reaction, and it will pass. I was reading about relapse avoidance and about the triggers. I am desperate not to drink, and I don't want to at the moment - but relapse is a line up of things I think and if one is at a low ebb, one is more vulnerable ...

The ongoing tension I am feeling re DP drinking is not helping. When drunk he can be boorish, overbearing, rude and he repeats himself over and over, not listening to any replies. I find it a bit cringy and embarrassing when he is with friends, so I am avoiding going out with him. Yesterday I was on the go from the minute I got up, doing washing etc, walking dog , cooking cleaning etc. In and out every minute taking up. DP managed to get up, go to a local beer festival, we met at a friends for a bbq, ( few raised eyebrows when I asked for a soft drink but these are nice people so no nagging) and he dominated the whole evening, denying anyone else a chance to talk. Think I was feeling very sensitive and anxious anyway... As I had had no time to myself at all. A bit resentful hat he does so little in the house and a bit fed up at having my evening stolen when all I really wanted was to sleep...

I will not be going to work tomorrow - I'm poorly and I need to equilibrate again ...

One nice thing to finish - sorry this is very me, me ,me today...

Yesterday morning I went for a cycle with ds3 and the dog. I had a moment of sheer happiness when about 3/4 of the way round, DS and I were laughing at the dog trying to catch leaves in the ( smal) river , and swimming around to cool off... Just a moment of complete happiness and clarity and a feeling that everything was good and ok, and in the right place.

Hope you are all ok

Lily 🌷

Take care of you Lily Why is it us HCP's are so good at looking after others and not ourselves? It may well be that the PAWS/low mood was exacerbated by the pre-symptomatic arrival of said bug. Those moments of happiness will arrive more frequently and last longer as time goes on so hold tight :)

Fuzzy I have been thinking about your 1 year achievement. Congratulations! I feel respect for you and gratitude for posting to bring us beginners along.

It must be a terrific end game for the long timers to want to continue to share their good fortune. So much to gain from sobriety that sober people want to give a hand to others.

I am just about out of repenting. Last weekend's cock ups are beginning to be a distant memory. Been here before. I'm taking a new stance. I'm not going to fight it I'm going to relax into sobriety. Remove tension and just be sober.

Cheep my late night reply was rubbish! But I am so glad others have made up for it

KoKo xx

Day 8 - my face looks good.

Hello everyone, well done Fuzzy!!! A whole year is amazing!

Isn't it lovely weather? I have been working in the garden and soaking up the rays and as a result am feeling very indolent this evening. I did have a bit of a wobble when I came home from the school run, but some pink Schloer seems to have solved that problem; it looks a bit like the rose wine DH has poured for himself and tastes good too. I've been round the supermarket slinging all sorts of AF treats in the trolley. Ironic that my trolley was clinking with the sound of bottles, but not one of them had any booze in.

Cheep my DH also drinks far too much, we both work in the events industry so it is a bit of a minefield of alcohol. He drinks a lot less than he used to now that he doesn't have me egging him on though. He will address the issue as and when he wants to, I am not going to nag even though as Lily said drunk people are bloody boring aren't they? Saying the same crap over and over, completely oblivious. Thank God that's not me, anymore!

I am going through what I believe is called a TSP stage. I am so flipping happy and bouncy, I have turned into one of those annoyingly happy people that makes others feel a bit stabby. Can't help it, sorry! It's amazing. I was just like this during my pregnancies, and always wondered if it had something to do with not drinking. Turns out it probably did.

Love and to all

Thanks so much folks . I honestly cannot tell you how much it means to have you here to chat with, and your congratulations have really made my day. People IRL know I don't drink (obviously), but it is really only DP that knows the gory details. Most of the time I fitted nicely into my heavy drinking set of mates, and relatively moderate, but constantly alcohol-infused family. I have one friend IRL who has said she is thinking of going dry, having seen me do it - but I have no close sober friends...

So maybe this is why I made this purchase this afternoon www.recovery12.co.uk/1-year-bronze-sobriety-chip-214-p.asp - you may know I have never set foot in an AA meeting, but over the last few days I have realised I am comfortable with the fact that if I did, I would fit right in - and I am OK with that . Is that weird? It was completely spontaneous, and felt right at the time! I really liked Lily's sobriety necklace - at some point I will choose a piece of jewellery for the same reason. I've been thinking of doing that almost since day one, but a) am skint, and b) can't decide (I was ever indecisive except for when offered a drink ).

Matron Thank-you . I gain so much from this thread, and am delighted if my being part of it can give something back. Glad to hear you are reaching peak-repentance - onward!

Lucy so glad you specifically mentioned extra cake, as I already had a brownie this afternoon in a nice cafe by a lake... Always room for more

Lily wrap yourself in kindness and use the support of the thread. I am also finding that issues with 'D'P hugely affect my general mood and state of mind, and really colour how I feel about my life in general . This is something I am failing to deal with constructively at the moment. Sympathies Love the moment of pure happiness tho - I love this sans-alcohol; moments of joy are never tinged with the self-loathing that comes with the inevitability of (or consequences of) over-indulgence!

Right, I better go smack down my dough and see if I can shape a decent pizza . Have a great evening all.

Wow fuzzy congratulations

Just passing through to check in. Some more for lily - am also having a bit of a wobble after the w/e which was more demanding both for cooking/cleaning/rushing round than expected and there were some unanticipated stresses. Definitely not relaxing. Hope you feel better soon.

Schloer is my treat drink of choice. It feels special. Bubblesl :)

Have a good evening, all.

fuzzy many many congratulations. 366 days is amazing - a real inspiration

lily I am sorry you are having a hard time. You might remember a couple of weeks ago I posted about the same kind of symptoms - I am certain it was PAWs combined with a bit of a bug. It lasted a few days and then vanished. Take extra care of yourself. You have had a really tough weekend. I am glad you are not going to go to work tomorrow - you need time to rebalance and rest. You are doing brilliantly. I am so pleased you have had a moment of feeling complete happiness. I am certain those moments will grow with time and become longer and stronger.

matron I'm glad you're feeling better. It's nice when the puffy, dark eyes start to go !!

cheep enjoy AJ. Even if you don't find it works for you it's pleasant to listen to if a little bit bizarre at first.

Hello to everyone I haven't name checkedX

Congratulations fuzzy - a year seems so far away for me!! Well done

Congratulations Fuzzy - that must have taken sheer determination to do a year!! I still have a long way to go!

I made a decision 32 days ago to stop drinking. Unfortunately, my husband and his family are heavy drinkers and I fell into similar patterns of drinking - not as heavily as them, but always an excuse to drink. Ie - the sun is shining; it is Friday, whopee!; it is Monday - depressing; football on; going out for dinners; you get my drift. I don't want to be like that. My parents would have one Bacardi and coke of a Saturday eve and never abused alcohol in this way. I know I don't need it - am certainly not addicted and just fell into a bad habit because of DH and his family.

I have enjoyed the benefits so far of abstaining. I don't look as rough in the morning, my arms have got slimmer, I enjoy being in control of myself and not waking up with a hangover, and I must admit I feel quite empowered.

I want to go on forever if I can and will need the help of this thread. People seem to feel uncomfortable when I say I am not drinking, they question why that is 'are you pregnant?' 'Are you ill'. I think they feel uncomfortable now I am not drinking as I am seeing in the cold light of day how much they have. For instance, I had a couple of friends over recently and they drank 4 bottles between the two of them in just a few hours!

Welcome Iam - 32 days is fantastic and it is you are already feeling the benefits - you sound so strong. I haven't told many people that I have stopped drinking but I did tell one friend when I first made the decision and she was really really dismissive of the idea. Looking back I think it may have been a bit to close for comfort for her as she drinks as much as I did and she has been saying it is a problem for a while. I don't think she is at a point where she is ready to make a change.

Everyone here is lovely and you will get loads of support. X

Welcome Iam and congrats on 32 days already under your belt :)

Congratulations Fuzzy amazing!! IAMS that's fabulous 32 days xx Day 7 nearly complete for me I should be happy but I'm really struggling tonight everything I used drink to block out are coming to the forefront and wishing I cold drink like a normal person why do I struggle so much?? Sorry don't mean to bring anyone down you're all so amazing xxx

Hello iam

Hearing about fuzzy's year sober has had me thinking about the ongoing journey. In a good way. I've had various attempts to stop or moderate (weekends only, wine only, two drinks only, we know the drill :) ). Then (strongly encouraged by dp which is another story) I did stoptober and that month gave the clarity that it was the right choice to go af entirely. It's so much simpler, apart from anything else. But then there was Christmas and new year and some family stuff (also another story) and it all went pear shaped. Decided to do dry January and this time I'm still going strong. Though my dry Jan started on the 2nd as couldn't quite manage the 1st because it was a bank Hol and so I deserved a drink or several .... .

Also have a question for the hcps out there if that's ok?. Have done some reading around paws and would love to know (a) how much impact it's likely to have for psychological rather than physical addictions and (b) if it's true that one lapse completely "resets the clock' to day 1. The stuff I found on line was interesting but don't have anyone to ask in rl.

Rose I feel the same everything is so raw without alcohol. I find it difficult to deal with all of the emotion. Let's carry on and see if we get over this hump because going backwards will just mask what we are feeling now.

Sybil I was wondering about that reset to day 1 thing or whether that was a scare tactic to ensure people don't just have the one drink.