DRY 12

[HowBadIsThisPlease]

Old thread
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2584735-DRY-11?

The thread for people who want to kick the booze

That's so good to hear! Love a view from the dry side. It does feel like emerging from a cocoon you've made for yourself. Inside, the cocoon is all you can see so it's the only way you can imagine.

Stepping outside is kind of scary and easy to feel lost but it's a good scary...I just need to find out where I fit.

Travelling the world Fuzzy wow! You really are making it count

It's really weird but since trying to cut out drink and since thinking seriously about ending my relationship, various other new friendships / acquaintanceships have suddenly popped up, offering lots of little opportunities to connect with people in small (but good) ways. These are people who were always around, either old friends coming to the fore again, or people around me in the community that I never noticed before. I suppose these opportunities were always there, and I never saw them before.

You might be right, I remember back at uni (loong time ago!), someone asked if I wanted to meet at coffeeshop to go over a tutorial and I remember thinking how weird they were. Only time I ever attended meet ups was in the pub.

Maybe I have filtered out opportunities to make friendships in the past that I will notice now.

Welcome happy - love the name!

Re anxiety, mine has largely gone since I stopped drinking. I wish my GP would have talked to me more about the counter actions of alcohol instead of just medicating harder with Increasing AD dose, but perhaps I wouldn't have listened anyway until I was ready to stop.

I'm also embarrassed to say I used to find it weird when I met someone who didn't drink. How wrong I was!

I'm so proud and empowered by achieving sobriety and feeling so comfortable with it. I look forward to meeting more people in real life who feel the same as I do

Thanks for the link lucy I'll read properly later, is it you who has written books on the subject?
howbad that Waa exactly me, alone in a room with only a bottle for company.
My issue along with mental health battles was that I'm a single mum with no support, friends are all married etc so alcohol became my Friend, instead of opening up and finding a network of people in the same situation i just hid behind the bottle. I knew it was a slippery road. And you know what, I'm not unhappy with my life really i love my children more than anything in this world i don't even mind my own company really but i do need to get a life for me back without the booze. I became my own worst enemy. As I'm sure everyone can relate to in some way.
I'd find social situations extremely stressful, on the outside I'm a outgoing appears to be confident person but I'd be rushing to get back and drink alone, or if i failed to keep a lid on it I'd be an absolute nightmare to control when I'd had a skinful and put myself and friends in danger.
Used to be funny you know, that crazy boodle's again.. but at my age with my responsibilities it was far from funny.
With the eczema ans psoriasis disappearing Sans booze that just shows to me how much stress my liver was under, i feel very lucky and so very grateful for this thread.
Going out now to enjoy the warmer weather, the housework can wait!!

Boodles and how bad you sound quite similar to me. Drinking alone at home was my norm as getting out isn't easy. But when I did meet up with friends, I was often the most drink by the end. Or at very least, the most obviously drunk and not in control. I tried to hide it of course but I was embarrassed frequently after nights drinking in a social group.

I too find social situations stressful and that was a big reason for the over-drinking.

I'm happy to report that social situations now aren't nearly as bad as they used to be for me. Sober nights out are fun without the regret or headache and I can drive myself home whenever I want to, which is a real bonus for the social phobic.

I decided to stop when my drunkenness stopped being funny to be and became potentially dangerous. That was a night with friends in March. I had been toying with it or hoping to achieve moderation on and off for years and more seriously in recent months, but as others have said on here, I don't do much in moderation. I'm very whole-hearted about things! Thankfully the same applies to sobriety

I always sort of thought if I'm going to abstain, I want a really high number of days to claim! Not a week or a month. So I'm sort of in competition with my yesterday self now. Always feeling good for one more day.

Even though I'm finding it less of a struggle than I was worried I might, and at the moment not worried about slipping, checking on the day counter here and there is still a lovely thing to do

Evening all

Anyone got nice plans for tonight? Been enjoying the sun today? I've had a grand day out and about with the dog, and I do declare I'm a bit pink round the edges (although it's not been that warm really, thanks to a northerly breeze).

Having a well earned rest on the sofa now, with a nice .

Have managed to do some constructive jobs today and also did someone a favour - found an item on the local park and then by wonder of the internet found the owner so that was nice.

Also got soaked in a very sudden, fierce downpour!

Catching up on The Tunnel tonight and Peaky Blinders with DH who has been lovely today. Feeling calm and positive (although still annoyed with myself) and glad I am back on track. Grateful the thread is still here and hoping everyone is ok today...vxa, lily matron and anyone else I am missing...

That was good jojo always nice to keep the karma balance on the positive side.

I've been sampling soft drinks in the garden to find my new tipple (it's a hard life). Can believe how hard it can be to change your thinking though. I was in the kitchen congratulating myself on how well I was doing, opened the fridge and thought "ooh, I could have a beer"

NO I CAN'T!!

I must have been having thoughts like that all the time before, it's only because they're so ludicrous now that I notice them.

Dh was watching Peaky Blinders last night, it looked really good. I'm going to make some tea and see if I can find something to read, need a gripping thriller tonight I think.

Evening All
I've had a nightmare of a day with DS today feeling emotionally drained and could of very easily bought wine but I bought some snazzy apple & ginger juice and some bitter lemon to mix with it. I even bought a posh glass for my "mocktail".
Bday tmrw and feeling very lonely and teary.
Bath with candles, mocktail and some nice smellies I think tonight. Might even go wild and shave my legs 😂😂 .

hey boodles sorry to hear about the tears. bath and early bed might do you a lot of good. I hope. Guess where I am :)

sorry to hear about the nightmare day. at least.... it is over? congratulate yourself on getting through it and do something for you.

Here's something funny.... P has obviously upped his parenting / domestic game. I don't know whether this is because he thinks we are splitting and wants to be able to represent himself as the Good Guy. Or it might even be because he hopes we aren't and wants to show me he is a good guy? Anyway it is very nice. I have had a really restful day, napped between 6 and 7, he made their dinner, he played with them in the garden, he did a load of washing that included some of their stuff! and EVEN SOME OF MINE! (two pieces, but still, most weeks/ months years go by and he doesn't touch laundry other than his own)

At one point, when I was sitting in the shade with a book, (perhaps over confident while a bit hopped up on too much coffee, but still) I thought: something has changed. I really don't care whether he ever understands how much work I do that he is even unaware of; I really don't care whether he ever understands how much he has leant on me, too much, disrespected everything I do, while the pressure is actually damaging me. I really don't care, because I know. And I can leave. And I will leave if I can't have new, better boundaries; and if I leave and he still doesn't understand (likely) and just thinks it's because I'm a bitch (likely) I quite sincerely do not care.

This is new. I have fantasised so long and so hard for years about one day him just seeing what I see. I see more than he does, I get stuff he doesn't get, and it doesn't matter.

I think some of this has something to do with speaking to my sister yesterday. Some of it has something to do with feeling like my time isn't going to last forever; I am not young; if I don't live now, when am I ever going to live?

...and a lot of it has to do with YOU! YOU! YOU LOT!

I mean come on, it's not like I'm never going to be on here again bleating and and whining about how tragic I feel, let's be realistic, there is a lot to get through, but right now this is new and this is good.

HowBad that's awesome!

Boodles sorry you're feeling down. Have you and birthday plans for tomorrow?

I wanted to pop on the thread to say "hello" to anyone who remembers me (I think only Lucy and Teapot!) and also a massive well done to anyone just joining or who has found this thread to be helpful over the past few years.

I am just over a month away from two years alcohol free. This thread and Mumsnet - along with lots of sober blogs -,are what started me realising that it was doable. Life is by no means perfect now, but immeasurably, completely different and so much better!

Honestly, the thought of being drunk or hungover or doing any of the awful things I used to do fills me with such horror. I certainly don't ever feel deprived or like I wish I could drink. I genuinely don't.

Being frank, I do occasionally find it socially a little awkward being a non-drinker. Sometimes swhen Im with people I don't know that well I pretend it's because I'm driving - rather than go into the whole "I don't drink" thing because I find it boring. The majority of people who know me including my closest friends have just completely got used to the fact that I don't drink. I've also been lucky to have had some amazing holidays over this time, all of which were more enjoyable, not less for being AF.

So keep on keeping on everyone. This thread is amazing, I'm sorry I'm not better at keep up with everyone.

teapot - so glad the new job is going well and that getting up early is helping too! Enjoy your downtime this weekend xx

Well done boodles on coping with your difficult day and not buying wine. My DS1 who is almost 9 is very hard work at the moment and I can only imagine how wearing it must be to parent on your own. Happy birthday for tomorrow, hope you are doing something nice for yourself.

Loving the new, kickass you howbad

Thanks how bad I'm ok, pulled myself together and ate some chocolate lol.
That's really really good news on how your feeling with your P, I can really understand that about wanting them to see what you see and "getting it" It's a fabulous feeling when you get to the "F it, his loss" mentality, it puts you in a stronger position to push for the changes you need. 🙂
I'm pretty sure my Ex did get it just chose not to acknowledge it though!

Aww thanks fuzzy and jojo
No plans really soft from being sober! First one since I was about 14!! . Looking forward to that! I might do a bit of online retail therapy instead .

Hello everyone, glad most of you are having a good day. I've spent the day with friends, the blokes and kids went fishing whilst the girls had a bit of retail therapy. Then we cooked the fish on the barbecue and sat around laughing at daft jokes. They are such lovely people, it really makes me sad we haven't done this before. But the reason for that is that the other couple don't drink. And until recently I wouldn't have invited them over because that would have been a waste of a Saturday, if we weren't going to get trollied. How sad is that?

Welcome to happy and hello to everyone else

Haggis! SO lovely to see you And coming up 2 years
What sober treat is lined up missus?
It feels like a reunion with the older thread members cheering on the newer one's. I'm so stoked - happy days! :)

Happy Birthday for tomorrow Boodles

Happy birthday boodles! cake]

Hello haggis

Hello everyone else

Just back from a nice evening with DPs family/friends - another sober social under my belt

It was lovely, had a laugh and some nice chats. The sort of nice chats that wouldn't have happened if I was drunk.

DP has not been drinking much since I quit, so his tolerance is down and now he's feeling the worse for it!

He totally gets where I am and I don't think it will be long before he's on his way too. He is one of the lucky ones who really can ignore alcohol in his house and drink tea all week long, but when out he does go for it. He's a proper social drinker. But I think he might wake up tomorrow with a view closer to mine, that even socially, you just don't need it, and it's soooooooo much nicer to drive home at a sensible time and know I'll be waking up hangover free tomorrow.

Thanks to everyone on here for all the insightful and supportive posts and for whoever mentioned sober blogs and Jason vale on dry 10, as I lurked there for a while and that was the start of my journey to sobriety, and I'm loving it to have arrived

Happy birthday Boodles. Hi Haggis it's lovely to hear a success story. once I was with friends last night having a nice AF evening too, I could drive home with DD which was a bonus. Until 4 months ago I would have been lurching off with her on the bus or taxi. I remember an evening with those same friends when I was the only person drinking, drank a whole bottle of wine, no-one said anything adverse but they must have been thinking wtf? the memory is still a cringe.

Happy Birthday Boodles
With catch up on the thread and be back later.

Morning all, hope boodles is having a birthday lie-in!

Off for my Sunday early bird swim and then maybe dragging the ds's off the gadgets to go - gasp - outside for a walk!!

Have a lovely, sober day everyone.