DRY 12

[HowBadIsThisPlease]

Old thread
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2584735-DRY-11?

The thread for people who want to kick the booze

fuzzy weird isn't it - I also don't think I was even drinking a ridiculously bigger amount than everyone else - it was just how I reacted to it.

onemore thanks I'll read Jasons Vales book, also the AA rules make you go and say sorry to everyone you've upset in the past.. I don't want to do this either!

boodles I blacked out, but didn't pass out if that makes sense. I used to basically go on autopilot and be walking and talking but dead in the eyes and my brain was gone - you has to know me to see I'd be in a black out.

*would have

The word alcoholic is such a problem for some I agree. Whatever I am, I refuse to feel shame. I'm massively proud of myself for pushing back against the grain and going sober. Someone way back up thread said they felt we are at the start of a sober revolution. I sincerely hope, and am cautiously optimistic, that they are right!

fuzzy A sober revolution would be awesome! You (and all of us) should be super proud for going against the grain. I have been a rebellious type my whole life and I feel the ultimate rebellion in todays alcohol obsessed society is to be sober.

I have noticed lots of teens and young adults have gone the straight edge - it's not so cool to be a teen addict as it was in the 90's.

Hmm now you've got me thinking about the word"alcoholic" I Was definitely a problem drinker, I'd become emotionally reliant upon alcohol but the same as howbad MH issues were there before alcohol which I believe led me to drinking excessively.
I think I'd become quite physically dependent also. I would have quite bad withdrawals -not every time but alot of the time. I hadn't got to the stage of drinking in the AM but I'd considered it. I remember one time i was in no fit state to leave the house but I'd started getting withdrawals in the form of heart palpitations, severe anxiety, pain in glands, possibly even nearing hallucinations I had no alcohol in the house so I ordered a takeaway just so I could get a bottle of wine and beer with it. I spent a fortune, and drank a few glasses and felt "normal" I knew then that if I didn't stop I'd end up 6ft under. . I think I use the word alcoholic to myself to remind me of how serious it is. I think if I told myself I was a problem drinker it wouldn't have the same effect for me as the word alcoholic does.

So the key for you then Boodles is to self identify in a way that is constructive for you at this moment in time. Nobody is going to argue with you, and you always have the power to define/re-define yourself. Sounds ok to me

Wow misscookie w same dead eyed expression used to happen to me too. I'm also in for a revolution! Viva le resistance

Misscookie totally agree on the rebellion. Sober is my new rebellion

MissCookie yes! We are still the rebellious ones

Haha X post

Off for a final before bed - didn't even fire up Netflix in the end!!

Boodles your giving me flashbacks of my 20's! I've experienced everything you mention and I did drink every day starting with beer for breakfast - however that was when I was 18 - 23 years old.. I'm 36 now and haven't drunk like that for a long time. If I was writing this aged 21 - I'd probably have used the word alcoholic - and when I was 25/26 too - another really bad time for me. I do try and not torture myself by going over the past - but it IS my past, so good to remind oneself what I'm capable of.

That's it fuzzy the word for me carries some clout so it's useful to use it at this tine. That may change though, definitely. It makes me feel excited about what changes can happen now that I've got rid of the wine (hopefully for good!!)

I'll raise a Camomile tea to rebellion

boodles you should read this

sarahhepola.com/title/blackout/

Night fuzzy nice chatting
misscookie in not far behind you in age, I wish I'd knocked it on the head in my twenties, ah well we're here now. Like fuzzy said no point beating ourselves up. PMA all the way now .

Ooh thanks, I'll have a read now.x

Yep - I should have stopped aged 26 when I went to my first AA meeting. I'm here now though.

Wow misscookie thanks for the link. I am going to buy it. I'm sure it will be painful reading but I think it will resonate with me and act as a deterrent. Anything to add to the armoury gets my vote.
I'm going to head off to bed now too am knackered!
Nice chatting and thanks again for the link.
Night howbad -hope your not working too Late
Night All

Oh and I'm back already - Boodles that list of dry bars / drinks was from Lucy's fabulous blog here ahangoverfreelife.com/2016/04/01/the-zero-alcohol-awards-2016/

Night all, posters & lurkers. Sweet sober dreams

Morning all.
Happy Sober days.

Interesting conversation about labels. . I have said 'I am an alcoholic' at AA, as it is the thing you say. In the group I attend it would most definitely not do to say what I prefer 'I am a problem drinker and I want to stop'. I have tried the 'alcoholic' label on for size (and in various locations on MN also I have given myself that label) but I am not comfortable with it. I also agree completely with what HowBad said about AA not being subtle enough etc, but that in several ways it does me good so I go. I view AA as another part of my sober toolbox.... but it is not the most important part. This thread, my reading and the blogs I enjoy are the major part. I get alot out of AA, and do enjoy it and have lots of laughs, but I am taking what I need from it, which is not all of it.

I keep looking to see if there are any Club Soda events near me, but so far no.

I like the 'sobriety as empowerment' approach.

Anyway, I have woken up with a stinking cold and cough and a terrible headache. Have 2 children's parties to go to as well. Ugh.

I thought a lot about the alcoholic label - I certainly wasn't physically addicted. But I did

• drink well over the healthy limits (and so weight gain, appalling sleep etc)
• drink when I had planned not to / wasn't appropriate
• find it very very hard to stop when I started
• get terrible hangovers that were impacting my personal and professional life.

So I decided it didn't matter about the label. I very much like the idea I found on line about alcohol being addictive and it's like an escalator so you can get off at any point - you don't have to go right to the bottom (bottle in park etc).

The only AA meeting I could make (really the only one - not addicty excuses!!) was an open one in the hall of the church we go to and that was a non starter so I guess that is partly why the label's not such an issue.

It really scares me to think about going further down the escalator as I do think I'd have ended up physically addicted. Louis Theroux's documentary was enlightening about that - you think you're ok and then BOOM you aren't. So frightening.

One of the reasons for posting now is that I'm getting to a stage I could get complacent. Need the inspiration of you guys.. lucy you are my hero and I love your blog :)

Ok. I am going for a run and then must get ready for visitors. Wishing you all a happy sober Saturday. Here is some to get us going for the morning.

I don't mind what label I use but I don't like or agree with the philosophy that once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic. Like in AA when people say 'I'm an alcohol and it's been 20 years since my last drink'.

I prefer to think of it like an ex smoker. If someone gave up smoking 20 years ago they wouldn't say they were a recovering smoker. They would say ex smoker. Or I used to smoke, now I don't.

I prefer that as it gives it an end, you can say you stopped and left it behind, rather still carrying it around years later. That feels like such a huge burden and battle, and really unfair if you've successfully given up!

No intention of reopening the issues from yesterday, but just a quick note to say apologies if any regular posters or lurkers were in any way offended by any of my posts on the issue. I just had enough of being attacked. No need for anyone to respond to this note as I don't want us all to go in circles or anything, just wanted to say that quickly.

Glad to see the thread is back on track - so valuable for so many.

Day 37 here today. Sun is shining and time to get ready for DS football