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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DRY 12

999 replies

HowBadIsThisPlease · 01/05/2016 20:12

Old thread
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2584735-DRY-11?

The thread for people who want to kick the booze

OP posts:
Boodles84 · 06/05/2016 22:02

loubilou Grin
halle Flowers best of luck with whatever decisions you make, hope it all works out for you.
What do people drink when they go to a pub for a special(ish) meal. I'd like to ask for a Mocktail but unsure of popular Ones that the bar staff will recognise without me having to hand over a recipe list Hmm.

Loubilou09 · 06/05/2016 22:04

Halle seeing as you are drinking right now you are not welcome on the thread.

This is not bullying in any way shape or form this is a polite request to ask you to please leave as is tonight.

Miss cookie WOW 126 days is amazing well done!! Hold no tight to that achievement that's amazing :)

Loubilou09 · 06/05/2016 22:05

Hold 'on' tight...

LikeaHurricane · 06/05/2016 22:07

How about if anyone wants to take exception to what another person says/has said, that they take it off the thread and PM it instead??
That would be the most constructive, effective and civilised way to thrash these things out for everyone's sake/sanity.

Dead horse being flogged springs to mind. It's time to move on. We've been trying to but it's not happened just yet......I remain optimistic though Smile

Slim that is classic....it's like we live in the same house!!!

Boodles84 · 06/05/2016 22:08

Well done misscookie!! That's awesome l, Was it too who reached 100 days and was then looking for a goal to work towards? What did you choose if anything?

SlimCheesy · 06/05/2016 22:09

Thanks Lucy. Hope she is doing well- she had so much on her plate.

misscookie that is fantastic!!!!!!! Thanks for posting. :)

Bodles I am quite boring when I go out.... my big treat is pineapple juice and lemonade. I never drink sugary drinks or juice, so it is a treaty mctreat for me. I love how refreshing it is. Sometimes if I feel the need for something bitter I have grapefruit juice and tonic.

misscookie · 06/05/2016 22:23

Loubilou thank you - it is starting to feel like a real achievement - I can't believe 6 months is in my sights.. it's also lovely to have some real support that is separate from RL

Like A Hurricane I agree moving on would be good. Drinkers are antagonistic and hate being ignored. Best to ignore.

Boodles hmm I don't think that was me.. I have some rather large goals in mind though Wink

Thanks slim

HowBadIsThisPlease · 06/05/2016 22:28

Hello hello! Back again.... and back to work. I'll be working till around midnight, I think.

Miss cookie - 126 days! you are an inspiration.

Might put some crap TV on to keep me company while I hack through these work thickets...

OP posts:
Boodles84 · 06/05/2016 22:29

The grapefruit juice and tonic sounds nice don't think I could handle the pineapple juice though as drank and ate enough pineapple to last me a lifetime trying to bring on labour with one Child.
I saw that had some AF Kopparberg in Tesco the other week, I didn't buy any but wonder if pubs/bars will start selling it. Hope so!

misscookie · 06/05/2016 22:32

I have a serious question - do most people on this thread consider themselves an alcoholic?

I ask as I have a problem with the word and I have a problem with AA - ie having to stand up and say "my name is misscookie and I am an alcoholic"..

In fact, I still do not consider myself an alcoholic.. however here I am abstaining completely due to the effect drinking was having on my life.

I'm wondering whether I'm still in denial Confused

misscookie · 06/05/2016 22:33

Thanks Howbad Grin

FuzzyWhiteLegs · 06/05/2016 22:35

Ahhhhhb that's better Smile Yoga with Adrienne on YouTube if anyone fancies dipping a toe in the world of yoga. It's done so much for my health - mental and physical. My posture is so much better and I'm sure I'm a better runner for it.

Mocktails... There are so many fab ones but in yer average British pub I tend to go simple. I like things that are not too sweet in a nice glass, so eg cranberry juice with a splash of soda in a large wine glass is a good one, and simple.

I do love discovering bars with proper imaginative nonalcoholic selections tho, I get ridiculously excited!

Boodles84 · 06/05/2016 22:37

Sorry misscookie must have got mixed up with another poster. Looking forward to reaching that kind of time sober myself, it's a massive accomplishment and spurs me on hearing of other peoples achievements.Smile

HowBadIsThisPlease · 06/05/2016 22:41

misscookie, I have said it (in AA meetings), and it didn't blow my mind as a massive untruth, but didn't feel quite right either; but if you were to ask me to say what I really believe I would say I have an alcohol problem; or perhaps that I have historical mental health problems which I've attempted to self medicate with alcohol long term, with the result of an alcohol problem.

I don't feel right saying I am alcoholic, because I am not physically addicted, and because when I stop I don't need physical support to manage withdrawal. this might be a very precise and self serving definition though and perhaps I am in denial ;) I guess I think the real reason is that I honestly believe (not that this is a remotely useful distinction) that my mental health / emotional problems came first, and the alcohol abuse came second. It doesn't stop it being alcohol abuse, but had my other problems been treated / treatable, I don't think I would have got to this with alcohol. Irrelevant now - because here I am.

If you can't say it, I guess you can't share in AA, and that may or may not be a problem for you. I went through go through a real process with AA (a bit like my process with the church) where I oscillate between noticing everything that is arrogant, unsophisticated, not subtle enough, not delicate enough, not philosophically perfect enough; and saying "sod it, I can still see all that, but it will do me good and I'm going".

OP posts:
HowBadIsThisPlease · 06/05/2016 22:42

oooo adrienne, yoga on youtube - great tip, that is just what I need
I might do some tomorrow with dcs - they love a bit of "yogo" (they call it)

OP posts:
FuzzyWhiteLegs · 06/05/2016 22:42

Hi there MissCookie Grin you're doing great! No I don't think of myself as an alcoholic... But I'm not so fussed about labelling myself in that way. I was definitely unable to adequately control my use of the addictive substance alcohol if that helps Grin

misscookie · 06/05/2016 22:43

Boodles a huge thing that helped me was reading Allens Carrs book 'The Easy Way' - I was sceptical at first, but it helped remove the desire and made me think of things in a completely different way - ie I'm not giving anything up or missing out, but I'm choosing a happy and healthy life. It really helped - especially in a society where alcohol is everywhere - it makes you realise what a business it is.

FuzzyWhiteLegs · 06/05/2016 22:43

Adrienne is totally my girl crush Grin

FuzzyWhiteLegs · 06/05/2016 22:46

I liked that book too MissCookie, and Jason Vale's almost identical one!!

Boodles84 · 06/05/2016 22:47

fuzzydo you do the yoga every day? I think it was you who posted a link to af bars and drinks. I saved it somewhere I'll have to find it. I think there should be more choice when out and about, not that I ever go anywhere, just in anticipation I might get a life at some point lol Grin
misscookie i am definitely an alcoholic I say it to myself quite firmly when the wine witch starts chirping on about "a couple of glasses won't hurt" it shuts her up a bit! I'm not sure I'm ready to say that out loud to the world though either. I think I'd find it difficult saying it out loud in RL as I'd be concerned of people labelling me with their opinion of alcoholics.

misscookie · 06/05/2016 22:48

Thanks Fuzzy I hate labels too. I was also unable to control my behaviour when drinking, which would go a little wild when under the influence.

I was seriously quite wild pre 30 (sooo many stories) - but then started a family and calmed down - however every once in a while I'd just suddenly be in a complete state with no warning.. I'd look sober for the whole evening but then just switch and suddenly be completely drunk (I didn't get a warning either). No slurring, passing out or vomiting.. just sober then bang completely wasted.

FuzzyWhiteLegs · 06/05/2016 22:53

You sound very similar to me MissCookie!

Boodles - ideally yes, but I often struggle to find a quiet time/place to do it. I did start with Adrienne's 30 days of yoga (in about 32 days Grin) which was an excellent programme, and completely free on YouTube. Can't recommend it enough.

OnceMoreIntoTheBleach · 06/05/2016 22:57

Misscookie hi! If you haven't already, read Jason vale's book as he says exactly that about the word 'alcoholic' and a lot about why AA fails to work for a lot of people because of that label and the connotation that it means the struggle and 'recovery' is life-long.

misscookie · 06/05/2016 22:58

boodles the word alcoholic makes me think of an individual who is physically and mentally reliant on alcohol, I'd also be worried I'd be labelled as this as well.

Boodles84 · 06/05/2016 23:01

That sounds very familiar to me too misscookie although I did used to black out Confused.
That is my goal for next week now thanks fuzzy I aim to do 3 YouTube vids next week of yoga. I've written it down now I can't back out Grin!