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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DRY 12

999 replies

HowBadIsThisPlease · 01/05/2016 20:12

Old thread
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2584735-DRY-11?

The thread for people who want to kick the booze

OP posts:
vxa2 · 06/05/2016 18:18

I can't stay either. Thank you for all your support. PM me if anyone wants to meet up elsewhere. X

Marryoneorbecomeone · 06/05/2016 18:21

A group flounce?

Halleberry · 06/05/2016 18:24

God I feel awful
I didn't meab any of this Sad

Marryoneorbecomeone · 06/05/2016 18:31

It's horrible and smacks of 'she goes or we go.'Hmm

glad2016 · 06/05/2016 18:32

I don't think calling it a group flounce is very helpful, or indeed true. If people are finding posts triggery or are upset at their genuine concerns being called shameful I am not really surprised they want to leave.

glad2016 · 06/05/2016 18:33

And no one has said "she goes or we go" except you Marry Again, not helpful.

Halleberry · 06/05/2016 18:35

They haven't said it but that's obviously what they mean or they would t be talking about starting a new thread as I wouldn't be welcome there either would i?

glad2016 · 06/05/2016 18:39

Halle you did keep posting stuff that was triggery. I know you have now stopped ( thank you) but its not really surprising that some people are uncomfortable. Marry you called the comments shameful when they were not, just people politely and honestly voicing concerns.
I am going to just lurk now.

Halleberry · 06/05/2016 18:40

What did I post that was trigger type?

Hadron21 · 06/05/2016 18:41

I'll bow out too. It's all too much for me.

The one thing I'll say is that I work with people who have muliple addictions and it's only with medical advice can anyone withdraw safely from them all. The possibility that I could be supporting someone to do something that may harm their health goes against my principles. My statement is not relevant to any one poster here but is morally where I stand.

Keep going everyone, this Dry thread is amazing but it's not right for me right now.

Halleberry · 06/05/2016 18:41

And if ive stopped now why leave???

Marryoneorbecomeone · 06/05/2016 18:43

They weren't concerns, they were pointed suggestions for Halle to post elsewhere! The way she was and continues to be singled out despite clearly needing support, was indeed shameful.

It reminded me of a DV thread where the OP isn't ready to leave and then gets rounded on for it. It's victim blaming.

OnceMoreIntoTheBleach · 06/05/2016 18:51

For goodness sake marry this is an abstinence thread!

It's not an appropriate thread for people who are not yet fully committed to stopping.

Halle has been given excellent advice, both medical and emotional, and has been advised of where there is a thread that is more appropriate to her needs at this time.

If you went into a chiropodist clinic and asked them to help you with your bad knee, and they sent you to the physio instead, would you kick off at them for being unsupportive?

Sybilramkinvimes · 06/05/2016 18:51

I have just checked in to find this has gone crazy. I am so sorry posters are wanting to leave and there has been so much angst. This thread has been a lifeline for me - there's no real life support available and - entirely seriously - it's why I'm here tonight with a cup of tea after a hard week and know wine's not an option. Please, please can we get back on track? halle I'm so sorry but I think you have misjudged the tone of the thread and misinterpreted well intentioned advice. This is such a great thread for supporting each other and going forward. I'm going to finish this lovely cup of tea and then start getting us a nice supper - and I have a fantastic book to look forward to. It's by Jodi Taylor about time travelling historians (!) and it's part of a fab series. Funny, page turners, so well written. Highly recommended!

Halleberry · 06/05/2016 18:58

I want nothing more than for you all to move past this. I even started posting tips and talking about things to help stay off alcohol. I tried to turn it around yet you can't seem i let go. I didn't want any of this. Im very new to all this.

LikeaHurricane · 06/05/2016 19:03

Marry I'm very surprised at your posts over the course of the day. Stirring is the word that springs to mind. Sad thing is, I feel like I'm playing right into somebody's hands by saying that.......for some reason?? But that's my view of a lot of the things you have written recently.
It appears that you really want to help Halle which is very admirable, even if it's to the detriment and very triggery for a lot of other people. I don't think that's fair, it's really not fair and would have been better suited to PMing.
Lots of people, me included have posted what may be perceived to be triggery posts in the past but we've had the respect to desist as soon as we've either realised or its been gently pointed out. Then we've been welcomed back with kindness and no judgement.

Halle the overwhelming majority of your posts on this thread over the last couple of days have stated your intention to continue to drink and it was only after hours of people asking/pleading with you to stop, that you finally showed them some respect and did so. There's been a distinct lack of respect towards other people who have been brave enough to point out what the ethos of this thread is.

That number of people can't be wrong. It's that simple. Brave Babes exists for you, I know you've posted there as I look at that thread too.

I will lurk until the thread regains some semblance to what it was created for 12 threads ago. I'm quite sure it will, until then I hold steady but I won't take any notice of anymore digs, stirring or shit basically. Enough

Halleberry · 06/05/2016 19:07

I wish I knew what posts were very triggering and I wish I knew where there was anyone who actually begged and pleaded with me to stop x

AbsoluteBeginner · 06/05/2016 19:08

Hear hear hurricane. Everyone else - please don't go. matron you will be safe with Jason. Don't fight him! sybil enjoy your AF Friday night and thanks for the book recommendation Smile

jojomo · 06/05/2016 19:10

evening destroyed.

OnceMoreIntoTheBleach · 06/05/2016 19:14

Halle To respond to to your 18:58 post: I saw you posting tips today about how to stay off alcohol and for me it did nothing to turn things around. I found it irritating at best if I'm honest, because it seems like 5 mins since you were posting justifying your drink and drug use and intention to drink in the near future. I don't think you're in a position to offer advice yet. In a way, I find that disrespectful to others here, especially since you don't appear to have listened to much of the sound advice you've been given buy those on here who are in a position to offer it (medics, long-term sober people, etc).

At the risk of being 'shameful', I think for the greater good, it would best if you just lurked for a while, found your sober wings (if in fact that is what you want), and then came back when you have really decided to commit. This is one of thousands of discussion boards available to you, and this particular tiny thread is for committed people. It's our safe place. Please respect that. Those still contemplating use the BBB.

jojomo · 06/05/2016 19:16

Sorry, not the thread fault. Signing off for a bit. Jo x

OnceMoreIntoTheBleach · 06/05/2016 19:17

Jojo hope you're ok. Stay strong Cake

FuzzyWhiteLegs · 06/05/2016 19:21

Halle, you can't just 'change the subject' on a thread about alcohol, by avoiding talking about it! That you think you can demonstrates how far away from the general track of this group of people you are. I don't mean that badly but I think it might be what's going on.

Marry - rarely have I seen someone on MN so dramatically, vocally and nastily completely fail to understand where posters are coming from. Your comments have been shockingly inappropriate and insulting.

I won't be leaving the thread, for what that is worth.

Halleberry · 06/05/2016 19:25

This is one of my earlier posts and im really unsure where I have went so terribly wrong!

DRY 12
OnceMoreIntoTheBleach · 06/05/2016 19:34

You said in that post you're not ready to quit. So BBB is the place for you.