DRY 12

[HowBadIsThisPlease]

Old thread
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2584735-DRY-11?

The thread for people who want to kick the booze

I appreciate your concerns. It's lovely to know that even though you don't know them, people are concerned for others health in these situations. Im sorry but I just can't go to my doctor yet. He might stop my repeat prescription. He might involve social services. All these things are things I could not cope with right now. Im trying my best to make it through the days with support from husband and distraction with dealing with my kids. Id die if social got involved. And Id end up having panic attacks again if he stopped my medication. Just knowin I have then here if im desperate keeps my mind at rest. 6 days AF though and I intend to keep going as long as I can. Who knows, I may have came on here with the intention of limiting my drink, only to end up being sober (which deep down im desperate to feel comfortable doing). I spoke to someone once who came off alcohol. They said when they reached a low and decided to quit they were happy and excited and are now 7 years and very happily AF. I don't feel that way yet. The thought of abstinence terrifies me. But perhaps continuing to read stories of you ladies who are doing so well will spur me on to keep going AF. I promise if I fall off the wagon or have intentions to drink I won't be posting about them in this forum. Unless I fall off and do somehinf extremely stupid and post just to remind you that what you all are doing is definitely the right thing xx

I can be your "Eh yeah quitting was definitely the right choice" poster lol xx

You know what ive realised the worst of it is, that once alcohol gets ita grips into you, it's with you for life. It controls you sober or drunk. You change your life and life style, even friends and social circle to stay sober, hence there it is still controlling you, and when your seinkinf it's controlling you even then. I think that's what bothers me a lot. Every day for the rest of my life I will be fighting a battle to drink/not drink and every day I will at some point think about drink. I actually sometimes wonder why it's even legal. I mean I honestly would sinner be trapped in a room full of hasn heads than a room full of alcoholics drinking. We can be dangerous to ourselves and others and most of the time do t even know it until we are told the next day. At least that's how it always happened with me. I get to a certain point I can remember everything. Next rhing I know im waking up naked, in my own bed, usually pissed it, bruised knees, with a very unhappy husband beside me telling from start to finish how bad I was and what a fool I made of myself and of him

Morning Halle the way you view alcohol as a life long control is another good reason to get professional help.

There are many posters that have been alcohol free for long periods and feel quite the opposite to controlled. They feel free and empowered.

A big part of this thread is to help launch posters into sobriety and be a haven for them until they are steady and feel free of booze. The longer posters have been sober the more positive they feel and they pop in here to bring on the beginners and encourage them forwards to share their freedom.

Have a wonderful day in the sun everyone, we can do this!

Halle it won't always be so hard. I do know what you mean - alcohol's place in society seems all pervading. But I promise it dies get better. I have spent nights white-knuckling, and even dreamt I've drank. Yet now you couldn't pay me to drink, I feel so much better without it. And I drank heavily from my teens and am in my 40s now.

Marry perfect timing!

Halle you can do this and have a piece of what Marry is experiencing. Think about aiming for a sober life. There is reward for the battle.

"You know what ive realised the worst of it is, that once alcohol gets ita grips into you, it's with you for life. It controls you sober or drunk. You change your life and life style, even friends and social circle to stay sober, hence there it is still controlling you, and when your seinkinf it's controlling you even then."

Look, Halle, I really don't want to hear this. I don't want to hear ramblings about "alcohol being with you for life" and "I"m fine [when you're not]"

This is not a thread to support people with their lives and emotions which are run through with substance abuse.

This is a thread to support people who seriously intend to stop substance abuse

Sorry if that's a bit blunt but you are at odds with the rest of the thread and it's causing tension. If it were just me I'd just leave, but I'm speaking up because it's not just me and because I promised myself and all of you I would be honest. I think it's dishonest for me to be all "hun" about this when you're not posting in the spirit of the thread and that, and the discord arising from it, is threatening to people on this thread

Sorry, I wish you well, I am sorry to be so blunt, but I am not going to sit around and say nothing about this.

I honestly think the Babes will be much more what you are looking for, they will be kind and supportive of you emotionally and they won't pressure you to take steps you aren't ready for in terms of confronting your situation (incl. externally with doctors etc). I hear that you aren't ready, I get that. I've been there.

But we're ready. this is a different place.

This "alcohol controls you for life" message has really pissed me off. What do you know about that? Have you given up alcohol for a year and then had a good look around to see whether it's controlling you or not?

Neither have I, but I am reading people who have, and I am living in hope. Stop fucking with my hope. you don't know enough to speak so grandly about stuff you don't understand and it is damaging

Do you mind me asking what age some of you are? And how long it took for you to get sober, also is anyone confortable sharing any stories from there drinking days? Im 32 and have been drinking on and off since I was 13. I had an alcohol free 2 years once after I took unwell but I was 17. My drinking only got completely out of control round about 9 years ago. The things I done were awful. The people I hurt. I abused my ex partner (so ashamed of that). Im married to a wonderful man now and we have my son from previous (age 11) and a daughter together Who will be 1 soon. I have everything that some people Dream
Of. House,car,kids,money .... And im risking it all for something called ethanol!!!! It's so stupid. My husband adores me but can u imagine how much more he can take of waking up lying in my pee one day he will have had enough and that will be it. Xx

Wow .... That was a nice polite message that's left me a little lost for words!

Hi howbad we are ready!

Howbadisthis, really, get a grip. You're miles out of line.

And whilst an anonymous support thread is indeed useful, if a complete stranger posting views that seem at odds with yours is "fucking with your hope" then you need additional support than the Dry thread.

Halle I'm 45. I didn't drink when I was pregnant or when my children were tiny bit it didn't take me long to reset to my previous habits. Things got very out of hand and after making all the usual promises to moderate (I will not drink at home/during the week/alone etc) I realised I absolutely couldn't do that with any consistency, and frightened myself into Doing Something.

Halle sorry no personal info from me other than that which I give up voluntarily in the course of posting. I don't particularly want to be laid on a slab for comparison or inspection. But your request does remind me that this is the Internet and my details are on show for all to read, which will make me regrettably more guarded. But such is the nature of the net.

Im so sorry to have caused friction. I actually am sitting on 6 days AF and was hoping to stick around a bit, looking for more hope in wanting that to continue. I didn't poat to be detrimental. Even if my plan was definite abstinence my opinion is just that, my opinion not fact. Im not sure what it is i want. Im so confused. Sorry. But I thought this the ideal place to figure it out. I also enjoy reading what the other women do with their time without alcohol. I will leave. Im really sorry x

Ok don't want to add to any bad atmosphere so I won't post again. I have said what I wanted to say anyway - I didn't think it was that rude but obviously not everyone agrees with me, which is fine.

Also - good point that that I do need additional support - I think a real life meeting would be a better place in that sense of knowing what people's intentions are.

Can I just ask whether anyone would be interested in an actual honest abstinence thread? where it is ok to say things like I said?

Halle I've reported Howbad's posts. Please don't go. Keep talking. There isn't just Howbad that is struggling and you have every right to post here. It's clear that you're terrified, scared of abstinence and withdrawal (entirely understandable!) and if you weren't looking to change you wouldn't be posting!

"Honest abstinence thread"? WTF? Where is the dishonesty here???

How bad don't leave please. I swer my posts were not meant to hurt anyone. This is the beginning of some sort of journey for Me and my heads a mess and im confused and im sorry. I feel really guilty now. Xx

Also I have been totally honest xx since my first ever post

Exactly. Halle.

Good Morning ladies. Time for a self indulgent self pitying moan - sorry.

Feeling really shitty today. I am worried my alcohol addiction is going to shift to food. I am not eating really badly but I am eating more than I should - especially "treats" like cheese, crisps and bread, I am not big but I am 5'8' and approaching 12 stone. I want to be about a stone lighter.

I feel bored and deprived and sometimes I think why don't I just have 1000 calories of wine and no food. I'm not going to do that and I am determined to remain abstinent but I feel guilty about food now. There is a man a work who does not drink and although he hasn't said so I have picked up that alcohol may have been an issue for him. He is very overweight. I don't want to be like that.

When I reached the point of being ready to stop drinking one of the main indicators was that I wasn't really worried about putting on some weight whereas before it was a big thing for me and I had refused point blank to take medication for my anxiety which made me gain weight. I take my bathroom scales a on holiday for goodness sake !!

I have had a nutribullet for breakfast and have a salad with no dressing for lunch and some strawberries. I have a cereal bar which has 150 calories. I just feel really low and really fed up and I can't snap out of it today.

Sorry for the moan xx

Addiction and alcoholism are ugly. They're scary and it can all seem overwhelming. This thread for a while seemed like a place for women who were just drinking a but too much. Not full on dependence. Then up pops someone with BIG substance issues and the associated terror that throws up, and she doesn't fit neatly into the shape of the drinker on this thread. It's a shameful attitude. You all, and I, could be in Halle's shoes in a few short strides.

Marry the thing is there could be many of us already in the same shoes or been in the same position.

The loudest scream at the train wreck is not necessarily from the most injured person.

Problem drinking makes fragile beasts of us all.