DRY 12

[HowBadIsThisPlease]

Old thread
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2584735-DRY-11?

The thread for people who want to kick the booze

jojo I am terrific! Worn myself out. Had a bit of a grumble at DH but no more than that.

The pull to booze makes me sly and underhand. If the thread was full of lighthearted banter I would have blamed it for not making me focus seriously on abstaining.

I'm learning to recognise my behaviours and fighting the well trodden path.

I feel quite touched with the momentum of this thread and the posters, de lurkers and lurkers that make it work.

My day 4 = rollercoaster

matron stay with us. How was bike? Ginger well done on day 2. I remember that feeling when I didn't think I was even capable of lasting a day or two without wine - I've surprised myself. makesomething your earlier post really resonated with me when you referred to self loathing. Thinking back now, I felt like such a loser when I wasted so much time drinking wine or wondering where my next wine was coming from. I'm glad to be free of that, for now at least. Still dealing with crap but I definitely have improved self esteem now.
mr pony - the least you can do is come on and explain the name

Absloute I'm here and it fells so good not to have caved

ginger make and sylvie I'm enjoying reading your posts keep going.

flossie I thought of you when I got flapping earlier come back soon x

SlimCheesy omg hey there!!! I remember you, you were so kind when I first came on here😊 Went round in my vicious circle disbelief that I could have a problem with alcohol so thought I could moderate knew damn well there's no such thing for me!!

How's everything with you? Xxx

Matron I admire your strength being able to just take yourself out and away from how you were feeling takes a lot to do that xx
Lily thank you for the advice and support you give so much appreciated xxx

Well done matron. And, everyone else.
I've been off this thread a while so I'm not really in a place to comment but reading over the last few posts I wanted to say how it's the honesty on this thread that keeps me going. It's NOT OK to have a glass, it's not ok to moderate - for me, all these roads lead to the same place.
I cannot be honest with anyone in real life about this terrible addiction so I'm being honest here and I expect the same from you lovely lot.
I can't put into words what makes me drink or my triggers I feel like I just sleep walk into it. Reading your comments always resonates with me as you can all succinctly say what I'm feeling like you're reading my mind.

Thanks again for the warm welcome back. I can't name check as I can't post and scroll back! Rest assured I read each post and however difficult that they are to read at times I find myself gaining strength to be alcohol free forever.

sybil not sylvie! I once knew a wonderful woman call Sylvie who could rip an apple in half with her hands

Hadron I couldn't have expresses it better.

Good work there matron - I read something on a blog I follow about the 'sober muscle getting stronger' and I think yours just did!

Night all, beauty sleep awaits!

Hello hello!
Matron! you are a hero - stay and grumble at us as much as you want - and well done for not picking up.

I started the thread in a hurry when the last one ended and I didn't head it up with anything that might have helped clarify any consensus about the tone of this thread and what / whom it is for. (DRY has been going a long time without me so I am not necessarily the best person to do that anyway.)

But - at the beginning, the two things I thought I wanted in a group were:

• commitment (however flawed in practice) to abstinence
• honesty (with kindness) - to the group and to oneself to the best of your ability

If everyone is ok with those things then maybe I should have put them at the top?

Really funny evening today. Found myself remembering things that are funny for no reason and having to stop myself giggling. I think it's the sun being out. Yet this morning - I dragged myself into work although crying (and told everyone my allergies were out of control, slapped some make up on and pulled myself together)

Thank you to all of you for being there for me in dark times and sunny times. I will always be grateful to you all.

Just checking in to say good night. What a lot has been going on. matron so glad you got out and feel better. Really relating to you and hadron tonight. Have had stress round work and been so determined not to drink - bottle of wine would usually have been the first line of defence. So proud I got through it on tea and cake. Quite a lot of cake, in fact. And now it's all ok caught myself thinking should get pro secco for the weekend to celebrate. Which is not going to happen but it's scarily easy to just fall back into the pattern. Really liked matron saying it's about recognising behaviours but it definitely helps to know other people feel the same. So thank you! Am going away now but as the man says, I'll be back :)

Evening all,
I can't keep up with all the posts an I may have missed some bits, plus I've also had these funny pointy nails put on and can't type to save my life but lily nooooo, don't go!!!! Your right, we will all he here when Halle comes back. Honesty is really important I know I've spent too many years in denial and have managed to hide behind other peoples drinking thinking see! They do it ive not got a problem. Being honest feels like such a relief. Halle please don't feel "seen off" we all want you to be safe and happy and well.
all round.

I was talking to a friend earlier about drinking and saying how tj thought of being drunk again actually scares me at this point. It really does I get this anxious knot in my stomache feel sick and shaky. Im not saying this feeling will last forever but I'm quite glad it'd thetr , it's doing a good job of scaring the wine witch away.

Hi everyone,
Thanks for thinking of me. I kinda felt i maybe should not post when another poster said my talking about moderation was triggering her. I apologised and I haven't really posted much since. Infact ive hardly posted on the babes bus either. My heads a bit pickled just now but I don't feel welcome here because be it denial or not, im not ready to commit to absinence and I really don't want to be the cause of anyone's down fall. Anyway, just thought you should all know im still 5 days AF and I havent had one single pill today! Except my anti depressants. I took my baby for a long walk then we had a long nap. I just had a radox bath and im still not going to take a pill. And im not saying that just so you guys don't say anything to me. To me this is the only place anyone can really be honest as we don't know each other. So yeah, truthfully I felt a little unwelcome,Id hate myself if I detered anyone's recovery, im not ready for abstinence, ive not taken a single pill today, and apart from a splitting head ache I feel ok. Thanks all and big pat on the back to another sober day for yous xx

Halle just wanted to say well done on day 5 AF amazing you must be so proud you didn't deter me and it wouldn't have taken much!! Always here, we all are 😉

Heyyyy Halleberry! Been thinking about you tons. Fwiw when I first stopped drinking I only committed not to drink one day at a time. It's becoming my new normal but it certainly didn't start with a total commitment.
PM me any time. You're superbly brave. X

halle welcome and well done for what you have done today! XXX Keep on keeping on xxx koko so happy for you|

At the risk of getting flamed......
Halle I'm sorry you feel unwelcome......but as you say yourself in your own recent post, this is the only place anyone can be honest and that is all that a number of posters, not just one, were being with you. I'm being honest now. It's unfair to single out one poster, they only said what the majority, including me were thinking (even resulting in one or two lurkers revealing themselves...welcome and please stay too )
And it was a very gentle and kind, helpful post.....you may not have wanted to hear it but it was very honest and genuinely full of great advice.
You really need professional help. I'm no expert but I can see that and that will only be possible in real life,

This thread is here for those who's intention it is to be abstinent. If that is your intention, even though you aren't ready, then please stay. Maybe just read, get lots of tips and advice but please don't post about your intention to drink, which I know you haven't done for a while and that's fantastic.... it's unfair on everybody else if you restart posting about your intention to drink at upcoming events.

Well done on your 5 days AF, that is brilliant and long may it continue

Lily your advice was spot on and thankyou for posting it. Please read back, the majority agree with your post. Hope your OK

Hurricane no flames here (and I truly hope and feel this would never be a 'flamey' thread. If it is, I guess I am at risk too).

For me, the problem with anyone on here talking about their intention to drink or keep drinking is mostly due to the fact that this is generally accompanied by a set of justifications for drinking. In my own case, this habit of justifying drinking was a big part of what led me into the danger zone in the first place, and is a huge part of the habit I needed to break in order to successfully abstain.

It's helpful to me to read about the absurdity of other PP's past justifications as it reinforces my own new philosophy that in the past, I was being an idiot.

But the very last thing I need from this thread is to read justifications for future or continued drinking. If I find myself at a weak point and come here to read or post for support and encouragement and then end up reading that someone is going out tonight and has decided to drink for X, y and z reason, it has the potential to derail me.

Halle I'm glad to read that you are doing so well and you are of course welcome if you want to abstain as this is an abstinence thread, but if you don't, this just isn't the right thread to post reasons why you plan to carry on drinking. I hope you can understand that.

Thank you like. I agree completely. Thank you for putting it so well.

Well done halle that's brilliant. Please take care.

Morning all.

Gorgeous sunny day out there. What plans for today? I am home and pottering and hoping to persuade DH we should eat outside for dinner. (He is a very cold person...... even when the temp is in the high teens he wears layers and layers and layers. )

I didn't mean to single one person out, sorry. Unwelcome perhaps not the right word .... Realisation that this was not the right plave to be discussing continuing to drink and after a few posts I realised that, so I said sorry and stopped posting. I thought that I was doing the right thing. I honestly would never ever want to ne the cause of anyone's downfall xx

Ps. I only posted in here as it was the only drink thread I seen. Id have probably write in the babes bus thread had I realised it was there xx

Kids dressed already. I'm taking my little one to a kids play centre as a surprise after the school run. No radio on here which is unusual as I'm just listening to the birds.

Halle PLEASE seek professional help to manage withdrawal from your pills. Without wishing to be over dramatic withdrawal from heroin is unpleasant but won't kill you - withdrawal from such a high dose of benzo's is extremely dangerous and carries that risk.

But I feel ok. Im seriously not even joking. Like ive said no need to lie. Ive only got a mild head ache and apart from that nothing .... And that's me on my second day pill free. My ex sister in law is in hospital due to withdrawal from heroin. She had a seizure day 2 of detox but she was climbing the walls. I don't feel anything but a sore head xx

Halle regardless of how great you feel 2nd day pill free it won't last please take the advice given and go see your Doctor tell them what you've told us and what you're trying to achieve, be honest about your drinking even if it's just to confirm you're doing the right thing. Don't compare yourself to your Sister it's a completely different withdrawal. For your own peace of mind please do this it's dangerous what you are doing xx I hope you don't take offence to this post we just want what's best for you xxx