DRY 12

[HowBadIsThisPlease]

Old thread
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2584735-DRY-11?

The thread for people who want to kick the booze

lily what you said and the way you said it was absolutely perfect. I had been trying to find the right way of saying the same thing but the way I wrote it just sounded really unsupportive and dismissive. When I saw your post I drew a huge sigh of relief because you had said it so well. The at you support others on this thread is inspiring and I for one am so grateful to you,

Welcome again make...I am no expert on this but I truly believe that we can all do this one way or another. You don't have to 'accept' anything and I don't think you really want to give up the fight either or you wouldn't be here .

Sorry posted too soon.

Halle clearly needs help and as lots of us said really she needs expert professional support. The focus on not drinking on this board is why I come here. I am proud of my sobriety as we all should be and posts like some of those we saw yesterday make me feel vulnerable. Love to all you wonderful ladies

Marry I agree and believe that we are all transitioning indefinately as there is not an end date to living sober. I think many posters have lurked during the periods when they are still trying to moderate.

In my view there is no one individual that needs more or less support than any other because we are all equal in the quest for sober living.

If posters drop off they will be back one day that is clear from reading so many returning posters. Because there is only one solution that works and that is sobriety.

And when they are we will welcome them back.

When they are ready we will welcome not when they are sober.

Likeahurricane Glad you like Melody Beattie
Lily stay put missus as you didn't see anyone off! All of those self-care treats sound perfect but have some extra too!
Makesomething welcome :)

Marry - I have some issues with AA in that I think it's absolutely brilliant for some people but not everyone and probably not for me. Plus my job is very 'niche' and I see people from several counties and it would be awful to bump into a service user at a meeting. In a desperate moment I did contact AA and they offered a special closed meeting for HCPs but it was unworkable due to distance. Plus I don't think AA would be for me anyway. Not critical of it but don't think it's for me.

Jojo - you're right. There's a huge part of me that doesn't want to give up the fight but then I do it time and time again. I'm so tired of it and so tired of being disappointed in myself.

That's a shame - confidentiality is the corner stone, plus week after week I hear stories of people who have lost everything, tried everything, multiple stays in rehab etc and only AA has worked.

What triggers you back to drinking make? How can you deal with the triggers and cravings differently?

I've got myself in a right old flap. Confrontation is a massive trigger for me and so are feelings of failure. The combination of an unsettled thread and potentially failing someone in need has got me wanting to drink.

I'm such an excuse seeker and will put the blame on anyone or anything other than myself.

I'm going for an emergency cycle ride. My adrenalin is up and I will drink then fight if I don't take action.

Just saying as a long time lurker who gets on and off the wagon the welcome is amazing am on day 2 and that is huge for me never thought I could do it

Good idea to go for a cycle matron, you will be calmer afterwards

We gave help and advice to halle , I don't see that as failing

Re-focus on yourself for now, post when you get back

Well done ginger

Good idea to get out there and get rid of some energy/adrenaline Matron - I have just stomped 5.5 miles and feel great!

I honestly can't see how anyone has failed anyone? Halle was given some great support and she knows she can return for more great support.

When I said she could look after herself, I mean't she seems quite streetwise and not a shrinking violet - yes she clearly has issues which she is aware of and is trying to deal with but she doesn't come across to me as a wet blanket that you can't say boo to. I don't think anyone should feel like this thread is in confrontation or has failed anyone, it is just rolling along telling home truths and supporting people much like it has always done. (In my opinion of course!)

Welcome ginger, although I am a newbie myself really! good luck :)

Hello - since I've delurked I may as well come and play :). I fit the profile to a t - professional job, perfectionist, outwardly super sorted but increasingly feeling drinking was out of control. vxa2 asked about doing months 2-4 and the answer is taking the advice about one day at a time and playing the tape forward. This last weekend was unexpectedly grim - must have been the whole bank hol/wine association coming out but really struggled. But kept remembering the reality of hangover etc not the fantasy of the civilised glass (ha!) of wine. And Tuesday morning had a light bulb moment (as you do) - bloody awful commute, accident had blocked the usual route and sat in the enormous traffic jam enjoying the sunshine, admiring the lambkins in the fields. Would have been a nightmare if feeling awful from the night before. Also aware that when I did get in I wasn't super frazzled and stressed out, just explained the delay and picked up the day. It is so, so worth it! Righty ho - I think that is more than enough wittering for my second ever post ... haven't worked out how to do the pictures but sending cake and flowers to all and a huge Well Done!

Well done ginger - don't look too far ahead, just keep going small steps at a time...

Hello to everyone

As always, lovely to see everyone doing so well despite daily struggles, stress and such

Welcome ginger, Lou, hadron and makesmile] and apologies if I missed anyone.

Re Halle, I think she was given good and supportive advice and if you are still reading Halle, I hope there are some nuggets and gems of advice and experience on here that help you on your journey.

I do echo lily and others' posts that this particular thread is invaluable for those wanting to maintain and AF life however hard it is, and so that needs to remain the focus. Otherwise we could all find ourselves allowing doubt to creep in and that would be disastrous.

vxa great to hear you are feeling more like yourself I think we are roughly similar days so it's great to read your posts on a similar timeline to me.
Rose well done on pushing through. The first days are tricky as its all new - it will get better as others have said, and you are doing what many (including me!) have failed at miserably before. Keep counting up those days!
Hurricane wow, so complex when you start looking deep isn't it. It's true that being sober opens us up to a new or forgotten world of emotion that we used to numb and I'm learning that and how to be ok with it, even embrace it, and like you, reading so much is an enormous help and bit of a new obsession!
Fuzzy, jojo, Lucy, glad, matron, absolute, slim, noodles, mr pony - and anyone else I missed! Amazing sober warriors, I salute you all!

Day 35 here and still appreciating my sobriety daily

I'm just a lurker really but thought lily and others were quite sensitive in what they said/agreed with.

I was really worried about Halle and de-lurked to give advice. HCPs like myself can't help but panic when they hear of Co - morbid massive benzos use and feel we should advise that professional help is really needed as; as lovely and inspiring people here are; it can't be a substitute for professional help when it's really needed and occasionally it is.

I lurk here because I know I can't moderate and know I need to stop completely. I don't post usually because I've failed so many times and don't want to expose other people to that.

But I am constantly inspired by the success stories here. I've visited BBB and it is like this thread in that it's awesomely supportive and brilliant but some posters there are struggling to achieve a day abstinent or not aiming for abstinence at all. And some are drinking far more than I ever have and talking about it.

And that's absolutely fine and right for the ethos of that thread. People need a space to talk about their drinking and lives and be supported and cared about in a non-judgemental environment where they will be supported and validated by people who understand what they're going through. It is SO important.

Supportive and inspiring. But I do find it it makes me think differently about my own aim for complete sobriety and judging 'how bad' my drinking is so I think both threads are needed and maybe one or the other will be more suitable for different kinds of people.

SoberWarriors I love the honesty, kindness, non-judgemental feel of this site I first dipped in last year under different username of Huntswoman71 it wasn't my time I wasn't ready but everyone still listened I still wanted an excuse to drink and didn't want to admit I had a problem thinking there's plenty out there that drink more than me! I'm back now and day 3 nearly complete this is a massive thank you to you all, the support on here is amazing I cldnt even have began if you guys weren't here so thank you xxx

matron are you ok?

Hi all,

reading but won't post at length right now as am thinking/pondering about the issues we are discussing and not sure enough yet of what I think or want to say. Thanks for the shout out Matron. :) But wanted to drop in and say hi to everyone.

One thing- has anyone heard from Teapot? i tried to PM her and it bounced back. I'm missing her posts and worried because she was going through such an awful time. Teapot lovely if you are out there, drop us a line yes?

Hi to delurkers also. :)

Rose you were Huntswoman ??!!I remember you. :) Hello again! [waves wildly]

Slim Teapot is a friend IRL so have FB messaged her and asked her to pop her head in :)

Thanks Lucy.