I've just abandoned my very drunk/high dh in central London in favour of getting ds home

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Namechanged yet again as all this is so, so identifying. Dh has struggled with addictions and after a peaceful few months it came to a head today when we saw his family.

He was being aggressive to everyone and when our bus arrived he wouldn't get on so I've just taken myself and ds home. Now he won't answer his phone and I feel awful I've abandoned him but our son is only 3 and I've got to get him home. I can't help feeling so guilty and bad and am both dreading and wishing him home. What do I do?

As part of the picture of concerns drawn by the op about her family, the skunk is an issue. On its own, no. Skunk can certainly exacerbate and trigger mental health issues but in the main it does not have an impact on parenting such that the child is likely to suffer significant harm or fail to develop normally (threshold for children's services intervention). I promise you that on its own, smoking skunk does not trigger a children's services assessment. As part of a picture of different concerns it might.

Then I stand by what I said. And where the op is concerned it's certainly part of an increasingly fucked up tapestry...

I have spent some time in care team meetings Jon, and yes it would be an issue.

It's about building a picture of the life of the child. State of the house, alcohol, lots of seemingly trivial factors are taken into account. To pretend it wouldn't be isnt helping anyone.

All the more reason to get rid of it OP. You think you can take it or leave it and you can. Until you can't.

Having it in the house is too much temptation for you. Get rid of it.

Birds that's what I just said. I'm a cp social worker if we're trading qualifications

Skunk can certainly exacerbate and trigger mental health issues but in the main it does not have an impact on parenting such that the child is likely to suffer significant harm or fail to develop normally (threshold for children's services intervention).

Her child has already been considered by professionals to require intervention and has issues surrounding his emotional development. And the OP hasn't even been honest with the professionals about the extent of the drug abuse that is going on and they're already concerned.

The local drug dealer recognises her 3 year old FFS.

You may think smoking Skunk is no biggie, but of you'd read the OP's previous threads you'd know just how bad this situation is and the last thing she needs is someone reinforcing the idea that none of this is that bad. It's fucking awful.

I did word that earlier post badly though. I was reacting more to posts saying that Social workers would definitely be interested in the fact that she was smoking skunk. I had missed at that point that there is already involvement, and so yes of course the social worker would be interested in the op's drug use as its part of the total concerns

Yes I do see that back story is relevant here

But I also stand by my view that berating and haranguing an addict for considering relapsing isn't going to help anything

This is making me feel sick.
Is there anything HQ can do?
That poor little boy

Yes cross post Jon. But that was my point we weren't talking about an isolated incident.

Your updates smack of attention seeking OP, and you and your inlaws very much are one of those families. Anyone who smokes drugs around their kids is.

Cross post again. I give up!

I'm clean and sober. He's fast asleep, fully cared for. I was just being a dick because I felt rounded on about the weed. Dh will not be coming back and things will slowly improve.

Did you flush it OP?

You could lie really. How would we know. But lying to yourself is a fools game.

Flushed (the seeds float though). None smoked. Me feeling like a dick.

well done OP... that is a step... What about other things in the house...is their alcohol?

Well done.

Positive step OP.

No alcohol, no other illegal drugs either. Tramadol is left. It's not something that tempts me as a mood alterer. It really is just great pain relief.

how do you feel now ?

How about getting rid of gone tramadol too

Fine but I know it'll be another bit of explaining when I eventually see 'd'h.

So, you are having him back?

No but it's inevitable we're going to have to see each other.

Honestly ..It sounds easy to say...do not worry about him..He has a way to fall before anything will change..You need to focus on 2 people..Your child and yourself..

Assuming you are suffering with periods pains.. Get yourself an early night and some sleep

Holding - you don't need to see him alone. Have a friend or family member with you. If he kicks off you phone the police.

I don't understand where you are but I can imagine it's not easy. My ex was an addict but I found myself in a better head space than you thankfully and was able to make a very cut and dry break from him when DD was very very little (few weeks old).

I do think this was helped by us being the ones to leave. Is moving an option for you at all? It might help for you to establish a space that is yours and only yours.