Q - If you & your DH go out in the car together, who drives?

[SuperMumNot]

a) DH
b) you
c) depends whose car you're in
d) DH, unless he's had a drink or two
e) varies - you alternate/whoever feels like it etc

Please just indulge me with an answer - I'll explain why a bit later

A combination of C/D/E

However, if l had to choose it probably would be C, as DH commutes to work (and I drive throughout the week) so on the weekends DH tends to do the driving as he luffs it.

This is fascinating. Amazing how many men are "better drivers" "bad passengers"!

Just like all those women who are just naturally better at cooking and cleaning than men, so the men put the bins out (once a week) put oil in the car (once every 6 months) and put up shelves (once every couple of years) so everything's fair.........

Oh, and just like all those women with special unpronounceable, unspellable women's last names they are delighted to change on marriage to their new husband's lovely, euphonious men's last name!

For the first ever time I wish there was a "Like" button on MN Bert

E

I do the daily run (him to station kids to school etc) more but if he is working from home he will do it (me to station kids to school).

At the weekend its pretty evenly split. He is older so the more experienced driver but had disproportionately more tickets for parking/speeding/no seat belt so I maintain in the better driver

Like like like Bert

Me, I get very carsick so better of driving.

Me. DP can't drive.
(He is also a terrible passenger, navigator etc)

Depends, I'm not that comfortable with driving on the motorway or long distances or in his car so thats usually him and in his car.

If its a local trip then its a mixture. If we are going out somewhere for a meal or something then usually me and in my car as i dont really drink and it leaves him free to have a beer if he fancies one. If i fancied a drink he'd happily drive us home and not have one himself. He likes driving and does it for a living.

We have three cars at the moment as I've just bought a newer, bigger one for myself so am selling my banger. All three are in my name and we are both insured for all of them.

He won't drive the banger unless he has to as it is automatic and it's a 'titchy car' he says.

Other is a 4x4 which has scrapes and dents that he caused by reversing into a tree a few years ago.
I love to drive this car but mainly he uses it to get to work as its local and it uses a lot of petrol, I have a long commute.

My new one is a diesel which I love, he hasn't driven it yet.

I drive about 1000 kms a week, him God knows as he's a coach driver and goes all over.

He thinks he is a good driver and indeed he is very careful and considerate and is always getting tips and compliments.

So officially all three are mine. I like driving and as I said unthread his makes me feel sick (why I don't know) and he normally doesn't want to. He would not automatically get into the driving seat in any of them and certainly not the banger or my new car.

If we are going out as a family is sort of depends on DS1. He is generally ready first so will go and sit in whichever car he found the keys for first. So unless we have a particular readon why that isn't suitable, then we go with that and usually who's ever car it is drives.

Oh, I'd forgotten that one! The man always drives unless he wants a drink.....

How does it feel to be so bitter and twisted Bert?

Absolutely fantastic. If this is bitter and twisted, I highly recommend it.

Cool. Glad you're happy with it.

I actually call it "thinking about stuff". You should try it one day- you might like it.

No matter what car we're in my DH automatically thinks he will be driving because he is the man... Ffs what year are we in? I enjoy driving and I'm not Miss Daisy so we argue over his ego/sexism etc.
Plus my car has dents everywhere from his great driving....

I'm not allowing my kids to grow up with little mummy in the passenger seat when daddy decides to grace us with his presence for a day out.

No issues at all in my marriage....

Dont think I can get my fluffy little brain cells to do that Bert. Maybe I'll have to ask DH what my opinion on that should be?

B. Dh doesn't drive.
Op keep the keys in your pocket and only unlock the car when you're at the driver's door. If he gets huffy just smile sweetly and say if I can't drive yours you can't drive mine

e. - totally depends, I don't particularly enjoy driving so I prefer it if my DH drives but he is not that bothered either. Neither of us have any interest in cars - his 'vehicle' is a massive truck for work which I really don't want to drive.

Varies

DH, but at my request I hate driving, I'd rather play on my phone or work.

Plus I like to have a glass of wine with meals.

I think this IS fascinating.

And the reason I ask is because I'm aware that DH is treating me a bit like the little wifey and I want to put a stop to it pronto.
It never used to be like this - we were always EQUAL about everything, but when I stopped working and it stopped being my company car and his company car the dynamics changed .
I think in his mind, DH probably thinks that because HE paid for the new car it's actually 'his' really and hence the proprietorial behaviour?

I'm with Bertrand on this - lots of post-rationalisation about why men are driving .

We had an interesting situation last night (after I started this thread). Went out with DH, and DS1 (16 & 6ft 2). DS didn't realise DH was coming and so sat in the passenger seat and I got in the driver's seat (yay!) and then I could see DH was trying to decide whether to tell DS to move to the back or whether he (DH) should just sit in the back seat! In the end, he muttered something to DS about 'seeing as it's just a short journey, I'll do it this once, but normally...'
I don't know when he turned into such a 1950s patriach?!
That said, I think I might have felt a bit if I'd been shunted off to the back of 'my' car with DS & DH in the front!

Perhaps we should have a national #I'mDrivingToday day and see what the various reactions are??

Ah, the sitting in the back thing!

Our rule is always grown ups in the front, regardless of gender. And that means child shifting out of the front seat for a grown up even if the child was in the front first- if somebody's being picked up from the station, for example.

This is getting a bit problematic now ds is over 6 foot and I'm 5'3 but I'm holding the line so far........

Mainly d.
He is happy driving and is a bad passenger.
I don't mind driving but am happy for him to drive me (not so much other people).
I don't drink so will always be the one driving home if we go out, and in that case will probably drive there as well as I prefer driving my car rather than his, and he prefers his to mine.
He is unwell at the moment and sometimes asks if I'll drive, I suspect that's going to happen more and more.